Looking Backwards
by ToastyMagic
Summary: This can't be possible, how did I get here? I've somehow found myself in Gravity Falls and the show is real. I'm back in 2012 with all of my knowledge of the events in the series and Stan Pines has asked me to watch over his niece and nephew until I can get home. Whether this is good or bad I have no idea, but at least it isn't 2020 anymore (Self Insert).
1. Ginger Falls

"Someone is speaking"

'Someone is quoting something'

_Someone is thinking _

Do you know that falling feeling that you have sometimes at the end of a nightmare? The one where you are just falling helplessly? That's me right now. I was just casually walking home from just another day of Junior year in highschool when out of literally nowhere, everything started to fade away. I wanted to run back where I came, but the same thing was happening behind me as well. I was trapped and the rock music that was playing through my earbuds was not helping. Eventually, everything around me was white, including the ground I was standing on. I wanted to scream as I started falling, but nothing would escape my throat.

I unstrapped my backpack, brought out in front of me and held it tight to my torso. I was going to hit something soon, I had to. I shut my eyes in anticipation, but nothing came. My eyes slowly opened and I realized that I was hurtling towards land and some trees. Finding my voice this time, I yelled as I hit the treeline, and even though it slowed my fall, I still hit the ground pretty hard. My body was cushioned by my backpack thankfully, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. I rolled onto my back off the flattened bag with a loud grunt of pain. I winced and shut my eyes, trying to breathe and comprehend what just happened.

After a few seconds, blood started to trickle out of my nose forcing my eyes open. I wiped the back of my hand under my nose, clearing it away for but a few moments . My gaze lifted from my bloody hand and I almost passed out at what I saw. In front of me there was a building that I loved and cherished. The building was a shack, and on the side of its triangle roof were red painted wood letters with a yellow backdrop making the letters pop out. Two words were proudly displayed with those letters, and they read: 'MYSTERY SHACK.'

My jaw dropped, this was not possible. Gravity Falls is a _cartoon_, it's not real, it can't be real! I slowly began to stand on my feet, completely disregarding my bag, fallen out earbuds and my current nosebleed and walked up to what I believed was the gift shop entrance. Shakily grabbing the wooden handrail, I made my way up the rickety steps and to the door, stumbling a little when I had to let go of the rail to get to the door. Sloppily wiping the blood off my face one final time, I took a big breath and pushed open the door. I almost passed out due to surprise again right when my eyes laid upon the cashier of the establishment, she had red hair just like me and I knew that it must be Wendy Corduroy.

She had her feet propped up on the counter top and was reading a magazine with a lifeless expression. "Welcome to the Mystery Shack, or whatever." She said in a bored tone when she heard the bell ring as the door opened. I was completely appalled, she looked real. The tangles in her hair were noticeable and so were her sporadic freckles. The green flannel she was wearing hung loosely to her torso, her boots were all muddy, probably making a mess on the table and on top of it all was her lumberjack hat. She looked like a real person, and if that isn't scary enough, her voice sounded _identical_ to the one she has in the show.

I tried to take a step further into the room, but stumbled forward knocking down a metal stand of postcards while trying to regain my lost balance. My eyes flew over to Wendy as she said, "Watch it buddy! Stuff here is expensive ya know!" When she said this the magazine was still blocking her view, so when she heard no reply from me, she lowered the reading material and shock spread across her face. "Oh my gosh are you okay?" Even when she talked she looked real, her mouth matched up perfectly to the words coming out of it.

She brought her feet to the ground and ran over to me, where I was clinging onto a shelf for support so I could stand. _So she looks real, big deal! That doesn't mean she IS real. I have to be hallucinating. _When she reached me, she put her hand on my shoulder, which made my eyes widen. _I'm not hallucinating! I'm not hallucinating! _My arms went limp from physical exhaustion and from the overwhelming fact that I'm actually in Gravity Falls. I collapsed on the floor and the last thing that I remembered was Wendy giving a yelp at my loss of consciousness.

A few hours later I woke up. I had a gauze pad under my nose so the bleeding stopped, my arms had damp cool towels on them and below that I had a rather large ice pack on my stomach. Wincing at the pain, I tried to sit up so I could examine my legs. They were in the same condition my arms were in, covered with wet rags in different places. Slowly, I brought my body back down into a resting position, but I closed my eyes and began to cough. I must have grabbed someone's attention because I heard footsteps approaching me. Barely opening my eyes, I tried to identify who the footsteps belonged to, but all I saw was a fuzzy outline of a man coming closer.

Deciding to risk it, I allowed my eyes to fully open and gaze upon who was in my presence. I freaked out... to say the least. Standing near my legs was the man, he wore a dark suit with a white undershirt. His face supported rectangle-like glasses and above one of the frames was a flipped up eyepatch. On top of it all was a red fez with a golden symbol in the center. I jumped back closer to the arm of the sofa I was laying on in complete surprise and the man's serious stature quickly became alarmed by my reaction.

His voice was gruff and deep, but friendly, indicating he had spoken to many strangers in his time. "Whoa, easy there kid. By the looks of it you've been through a lot, take it easy." _Take it easy!? How could I take it easy when a real life Stanley Pines was standing above me?_ My heart was beating so fast that I heard it in my ears. _First Wendy now Stan? Is there anyone not here? What is Soos here too?_

As if on cue, a lumbering large man walked up to Stan. "Mr Pines, all the tourists have left. I had to use the hose on a few because of the cut tour, but they all ran out pretty quick. Hey, the mystery dude is up." He said and I could all help but stare at him. He looked real too, albeit a little more recognizable than the other two, but real nonetheless. He wore his question mark shirt over his large stomach, cargo shorts were covering his legs and on his head he had a dark baseball cap.

Stan rolled his eyes at the handyman, "Yup, the kid just came around now." My gaze quickly switched to the old man's face, even the nose was spot on! "What's your name?" Stan asked, resuming his serious expression that he held before. I didn't respond, I couldn't respond. This was all so much to take in. I loved Gravity Falls, yeah, but being here literally out of nowhere was too crazy for me. I often had daydreamed being here and now that I am officially in this backwoods town, it didn't feel as amazing as I thought it would. It mostly just hurt, not just physically too. What about my friends and my family? Was I the only one that got "flashed?" Were there hundreds of people crawling and stumbling around like I had?

Stan snapped his fingers grabbing my attention to him, "Kid, I closed shop just so that we could properly fix you up. The least you could do is tell us who you are." His tone was straightforward, impatient, a little rude and rightfully so. He had no idea who I was and how I managed to get to his doorstep, then again, I didn't know either.

However I did know my name, but they can't find it out because then they'll know if I'm from another dimension. He'll try to find my parents and then he'll realize that they don't exist... probably. I just couldn't risk it.

I sat up with a small grunt and looked right at Stan, "My name is Matt. Matt…" It needed to seem like I had some form of memory loss so they wouldn't question for my last name, and to make it look more convincing I brought my left hand to my forehead. "I can't quite remember," As I spoke my hand slid down and over my face. Stan is a professional con man, and I'm willing to wager that he can detect small facial cues of lies, so I hid my face.

When I brought my hand back down to my side I tried to find an emotion on his face, I couldn't find a single one. "What year is it?" Stan asked nonchalantly.

I squinted slightly at the odd question, "What?"

"You heard me. What year is it?" He asked again in an irritated tone.

"Um, 2020?" I asked hopefully.

Stan scoffed at my answer, "Kid you must have hit your head on something really hard. It's 2012, the beginning of summer meaning…" He seemed lost in thought as his eyes drifted away from mine. And then his face suddenly lit up and he shouted, "My niece and nephew are coming here tomorrow!" He slapped his forehead. "I completely forgot! I have to set up their bedroom!" He quickly walked out of the room and up the stairwell nearby. His footsteps stopped and I heard him come back down, prompting me to turn my body slightly to look at him. His head and shoulders were peeking out from behind the wall as he said, "This doesn't mean that our conversation is over." And with that, he walked right back up the stairs, signaling that I could lay back down once more.

"So what happened to you anyway, dude?" Soos asked, which startled me a little. I completely forgot he was in the room.

"Oh I thought you left," I responded. "Man, for a big guy you can blend in pretty well." He beamed at the comment, which wasn't a compliment, but that's Soos for ya. I didn't like lying to someone like Soos, but I knew that he had a big mouth so I had to. "I don't really know how I wound up here, man. I just kinda woke up right on the edge of the woods I guess, with all of these injuries too." I glanced at my towel covered limbs and back to him. "I never got your name." _God, playing dumb really hurts. _

"Oh, my name's Soos!" He said with a small tip of his cap. "And that old guy was Mr. Stanford Pines, my boss." The way that Soos stated Stan's name really showed how much he cared for him. _He really does view him as a father. _

"He's not, like, going to kick me out right?" I genuinely asked, hiding my concern with a chuckle that made me cough a little.

Soos raised his eyebrows slightly with his response, "No, of course not. Sure Mr. Pines looks kind of scary and mean, but he wouldn't kick you out of the shack." He looked off to the side. "I hope." I ignored the last part and gave a small smile and tried to change the subject.

"What about that redhead manning the cash register? The one I probably scared half to death." I clarified with a small chuckle that hurt a little.

Instantly, and I mean instantly Soos's face became excited again as he responded, "Oh that's Wendy. She's the only girl in a family full of lumberjacks, and she's super cool." Despite Soos's grand smile while talking about his friend, I couldn't help but frown slightly. _So that basically confirms that her mom is gone. Poor Wendy. _I heard the front door open, shaking me from my thoughts. In walked the female lumberjack, she was texting someone on her phone and had a bag slung over her shoulder.

She looked up from her phone and looked at Soos and I while putting her device away, "My fellow ginger has awoken, how ya feeling?"

I smiled at the comment. _She really was as cool the show made her out to be. _"To be honest, everything hurts. I should be able to get around tomorrow much easier. Sorry for freaking you out earlier."

She waved a hand through the air with a smile, "Pssh, I've seen more freaky things. One time I caught this kid trying to steal my moisturizer." I laughed in response. _If she thought Gideon doing that was weird, then this summer is surely going to rock her. _

After my laughter subsided I asked, "What's in the bag?"

"This stuff is for you, man," She said, bringing the bag out infront of her.

I raised an eyebrow, "Wait, for me?"

"Yeah, dude," Soos said while walking to a nearby table and grabbing a chair. "I don't know if you've noticed but your clothes are pretty jacked up." He brought the chair a few feet away from the couch and sat down. "Wendy and I put some money together to buy you this stuff." He extended his hands out for the bag and Wendy placed it in his grasp and Soos sorted through it. "We got you some extra clothes, a hair brush, toothbrush and toothpaste and some shampoo. Stan's got that old man's hair wash, do not want to put you through that." He said with a chuckle.

"You guys didn't need to do that, I have an extra set of clothes in...my...backpack…" I trailed off.

"Ah so that was your bag outside, I'll go get it for you." Wendy said politely, but I didn't respond. My backpack had my first and _last _name imprinted on it. She couldn't see that, if she did then I was screwed. I was about to call out and say that it wasn't necessary, that I'd get it in the morning, but she was already gone. _I hope she is as carefree as I think she is. _

A few seconds later, Wendy came back in the shack and closed the door. She had my bag slung over one of her shoulders and had something small in her free hand. "Nice color choice with the bag, red like the fiery hair." She nodded in approval as she put the bag down beside the couch, allowing me to exhale a breath I didn't know I was keeping in. "Never seen these before though. Are these yours too?"

She held out my wireless earbuds close to me so I could see them. Since this was 2012 and not 2020, those earbuds were not invented yet. I didn't really know how to explain what they were so I just nodded. Luckily, she didn't ask any further questions and put them in the mesh pocket on the side of my bag.

The room fell into silence afterward, and a question entered my mind that I somewhat knew the answer to. "I can't help but ask," I started, grabbing Soos and Wendy's attention, "Why am I in some shack and not a hospital right now?"

Wendy and Soos exchanged a small glance and the lumberjack turned back to me with a somewhat serious face, "You seem like a chill guy, so I'll tell you this, but you cannot tell anyone else." I nodded in response which prompted her to continue. "Okay uh, Stan isn't exactly the most clean guy out there, so if the police or an ambulance came here with you looking like this, he might get into some trouble." _Yup, that's pretty much the answer I was expecting_.

"Well, as long as he allows me to stay here for a few days, then we're straight," I said with a small smirk.

"Yeah we better be straight, kid," Stan said walking into the room surprising me with how quiet his descent down the stairs was. "I'll let you stay the night, but tomorrow I'm bringing you back home to your folks, alright? Do you live in Gravity Falls?" Stan asked and I put on the best innocent act that I had ever put on. I knew full well that Gravity Falls was in Oregon, which meant that I was on the other side of the country from my hometown.

"I don't live in this town, Mr. Pines." I said quickly. "I don't quite remember where I live, but I can tell you right now that it is not Gravity Falls." Stan let out a sigh. "I mean, what kind of name is 'Gravity Falls?'" _Well... that hurt a lot to say._

"At least you remember how to breathe." Stan muttered under his breath and was silent for a few seconds, but then spoke up. "Tell you what, until a missing person's report matching your description comes out, you get to stay here. Now, that could take a while to get out to the public, so if you're okay with staying in a shack with an old man and a pair of 12 year old twins, you can." I nodded. _Man, I'm going to be here for a while. _"That doesn't mean that you won't have responsibilities, you are going to watch over my niece and nephew whenever I can't. If they are working in the shack, then so are you. And if they decide to go out into town, then you are going too." I honestly couldn't tell if this was good or bad. On one hand, I have an opportunity to spend the foreseeable future with the Pines family and go on all of their adventures, but on the other hand, my family might have no idea where I am right now and could be worried sick, so I should try and get home as soon as possible. Then again, I didn't know how to do that, so my best bet was staying here until I can figure that out.

"I'll do it, ," I responded and out of the corner of my eyes I saw Soos and Wendy start to smile at my choice.

"Alright then." Stan concluded and was about to walk away, but then halted his movement. "But if you remember anything about your background, you tell me immediately. I don't want people thinking that I kidnapped a teenager. Got it?"

I nodded once again, "Got it, Mr. Pines."

"And one more thing, if you're going to be staying here, just call me Stan."

"That makes things easier," I acknowledged. _Thank god! That_ _**really **__does_ _make things easier! I'm surprised I haven't called him grunkle yet._

"You're going to sleep down here for tonight, I don't want you falling down the steps. Tomorrow I'll show you around, so don't go snooping where your nose doesn't belong," Stan pointed a finger at me and I smiled. Too bad I already know everything that he is trying to hide. "As for you two," Stan turned to his employees, "You can go home now. You've done your part and it's getting late." Soos stood up and brought his chair back to where he got it while Wendy turned to me and gave a thumbs up.

"I'll see you around, Matt," She said making my blood run cold. I never told her my name.

"See ya later, dude!" Soos exclaimed as he followed his co-worker out the door. It took all that I had in me to put on a smile for him and it disappeared once he walked out the door.

Stan turned to me once they were gone, reaching for the light switch near the door, "Welcome to Gravity Falls, Kid." And with that, the room plunged into darkness and I heard the man walk down the hall to his room. At least Stan didn't realize that my bag had my name on it, but one thing's for sure, I have to talk to Wendy and make her promise that she won't tell anyone my last name.

I adjusted my head so I was looking to the ceiling and closed my eyes as I said to myself, "At least at home it's a Friday and not a school night."

When I woke up, irritation was the first thing on my mind. I raised my head up to look at my arms and I quickly noticed, despite the dark lighting, that my limbs had white towels on them. Wondering how they got there, I removed them but not without a jolt of unexpected pain. I brought my hand to my face and felt a multitude of cuts embedded into my skin. "Okay, what happened last night," I said to myself sitting up now. Craning my head to the left, I looked around the room and it looked so familiar. Then it clicked and just like a flood, everything that happened yesterday came back to me.

"As much as I love Gravity Falls, I was kinda hoping that was a very vivid dream." I reached my hand into my pocket and pulled out my phone, surprised at the fact that the screen was not absolutely shattered from yesterday's events. Turning my device on, I quickly noted that the time was 6:58am which meant that Stan would start to get ready for his tourists. And probably rudely make me get up for work as well, despite my injuries.

When I unlocked my phone I sighed in disappointment at the fact that there was no service, _I might have to switch to GRAVIT&T in order to use my phone, I still can't believe that's an actual thing. _Putting my phone away in dissatisfaction, I brought my feet over and to the ground with yet another wince of pain. I needed to hype myself up in order to get the courage to stand up. With a few deep short breaths, I got to my feet. Bad idea. The quick added weight to my legs was too unbearable and I let myself fall back onto the couch. "Ow, I should have thought that through more."

Then out of nowhere the lights were turned on, prompting me to shield my eyes. "Rise and shine, kid," I heard Stan say.

I rubbed my eyes and slowly adjusted to the new lighting. "First, you don't tell me where the bathroom is. Then, you tell me to go to sleep without feeding me and now you turn on the lights in a dark room where you know I'm sleeping," I stated angrily to which Stan just shrugged. "If you're going to be a caretaker, you may want to work on the _care_ part."

"Stan turned and walked out of the room while saying, "The only work that's going to be happening starts when the shack opens for business." I rolled my eyes at his response, he is definitely Stanley Pines. "Get your butt over here."

I gave a groan in reply and slowly stood up on my feet with minimal pain and lightly limped over to the room Stan had walked into. I stopped in the door frame and leaned there to take some weight off my legs. The room before me was the kitchen and it was just as underwhelming as the one in the show, guess that's what happens when a man lives by himself for thirty years.

"As you can tell, this is the grub room. If you eat anything that has my name on it, I'll put you right back into those woods." Stan said while pointing out the window.

"Understood," I rolled my eyes once again. "By the way, when are those kids coming today."

"They'll be here around two in the afternoon, it's about a four and a half hour drive." Stan said in response. "You already want to ditch me, huh." I gave a shrug that had the same energy as the one he had given me moments ago. I savored the scowl that he gave me. Stan walked past me and my smirk back out of the room and stood impatiently at the foot of the stairs. He gestured past him and down the hallway beside said stairs. I walked past him and I noticed that I was actually a few inches taller than him. _Wasn't expecting that._ The first door on the right led into the parlor, the place where Wax Stan's funeral was held, or I guess _will _be held. The next door was Stan's room, he made it very clear not to go in there, oh well, no fully clothed women for me. The one after that was his office, I wasn't really supposed to go in there either. The last door led to the bathroom. It was inconvenient for the people that lived in the shack, but convenient for the tourists because the museum was placed right at the end of the hall down a small staircase.

"You should probably go take a shower, I don't want anyone thinking that one of my attractions came to life," Stan said to me after the small tour of his showroom.

"Oh yeah good thinking Mr. Pines," I replied sarcastically. "Wouldn't want to deduct the amount of scams you pull today." Stan scoffed and my tone became serious. "How does anyone believe that stuff?"

"Beats me kid, but seriously though, wash up and then go eat something," Stan said as he walked into the gift shop. I grabbed the bag that Wendy and Soos had given me and walked back down the hall to the bathroom. I got a good look at my face and the rest of my body, it was as bad as it felt. There were indeed multiple minor scratches on my face so shaving was going to be a problem. _I need to go out and buy a razor at some point._ On the back of my left wrist I had a big bruise that was turning black and blue and on my right forearm there was a similar bruise. The shirt I was wearing was completely totaled, it had holes on the sides and upper body, probably from the branches that I whipped past yesterday. I took off the wrecked article of clothing and turned to examine my back, nothing out of the ordinary which was a huge relief.

My legs had cuts and scratches up and down, but perhaps the worst were my knees. They had marks covering the top halves of them and hurt to the touch. Believe me, it was a joy to find that information out. To top everything off, I had dirt and dried blood everywhere. I grabbed my new shampoo out of the bag while making sure that there was an actual towel in the room along with body wash, which, to my delight, there were. I was in the shower for about twenty minutes, mostly because the shower wasn't mine and I had no idea how to use it, but being extremely dirty had affected the time as well.

Once I got out I felt much better and after I dried myself off I took a look at what clothes were given to me. I first pulled out a red flannel, definitely Wendy's idea, and put it to the side. Next there was a plain black t-shirt that I think would look good with the flannel, then again I'm a guy with no fashion sense and could never quite get a proper set of clothes. I pulled out another T-shirt and when I opened it I was happy to see that it had a giant question mark on it. _Okay, never getting rid of this. _I put that to the side along with the others and after that I pulled out a maroon sweatshirt that looked really comfortable. At the bottom of the bag there were a pair of jeans, definitely Wendy again, and a pair of regular grey pants, underneath that there were a few pairs of socks and underwear.

I put on what I'm pretty sure Soos had given me, mostly because it covered my cuts and bruises. Then I brushed my teeth and then my hair. I used the brush to part my hair to the right and smother down any loose strands, there were a lot of those. After I was done, I didn't know where to put my toiletries ao I just kept them to the right side of the sink on the counter. I walked out feeling refreshed, sweatshirt in one hand and bag in the other that had _all _of my clothes. I'm not about to be a slob in the Mystery Shack, I don't know what could happen to me if I was.

I made my way back to where I had my backpack and put my dirty clothes into the front pouch after I took out a thermos of water that was in there. I didn't realize how thirsty I was until I laid my eyes upon it, I hadn't had anything to drink since lunch yesterday. I chugged the whole thing in about seven seconds.

"Jeez kid, relax, that water isn't going anywhere." Stan said as he walked into the room, I gave no reply, I just put the flask back into my bag. "Let me show you where you'll be sleeping." I grabbed the two bags, making sure that an article of clothing was sticking out of the pocket and covering my name. He led me up the stairs and into a room that had two twin size beds on either side of it and a big nightstand in the middle of them.

...Wait a minute. "I'm staying in the same room as your niece and nephew?" I asked very quickly.

Stan shrugged, that stupid shrug, "I don't see why not, nor the problem."

"Maybe the fact that I'm a teenager and the fact that they're twelve?" I fired back.

Stan gave a small laugh in response, the first time that I heard him laugh since I got here. "Look kid, If you haven't noticed, there aren't a lot of places for you to stay. It's either this room or the museum, and you'll actually be an attraction if you stay there." Then I heard him start to say under his breath, "Come to think of it…" Uh-uh, I'm not letting him humor the idea of people throwing money at me.

"Fine, I'll stay here, but where am I going to sleep," I asked. _If he says on the floor I'm gonna lose it. _

"Oh yeah, help me move the spare mattress in here," Stan replied and he walked past me. The mattress was just outside the room, leaning on the wall. "I know you're hurt so let's do this nice and slow," He said, which kind of surprised me, maybe he did care. "Now since I'm an old man, I get the side with the better grip." And there it was.

We got the bed, well it wasn't even a bed, just a mattress, into the room pretty easily and I put my bags beside it. "Alright kid get situated, and then come down and eat something like I said earlier," Stan said. "Sheets and blankets are in there." He pointed to the closest in the front left corner of the room and then walked out. He didn't even close the door.

I got right to work by making my mattress, _that sounds really weird. _Next I needed a place to put my bag and new clothes, so I opened the closet where I got the sheets and then I remembered something. The invisible wizard in this closet was an actual thing according to Ford's third journal, so I just closed the door slowly and backed away. I expected something to jump out at me, but nothing happened making me sigh in relief and I looked for another spot. Under the beds? No, there would be glitter and pen ink all over my clothes in a matter of days if I put them there. My gaze hit the shelves, no way either of the twins can reach up there, or really anything for that matter so that's where they went. Now the only problem was my bag.

There didn't seem to be anything sharp in the attic, maybe I could grab a knife from the kitchen and cut the fabric out, I was hungry anyway. So, with that in mind, I made my way down the stairs extra carefully and hoped that my legs wouldn't give out. After the successful descent, I walked straight into the kitchen and found Stan sitting by himself at the table by the window reading the morning paper, or trying to avoid eye contact, I'm not really sure.

"You like cereal, kid," He asked, looking at me now. I nodded in reply. "It's in the cabinet behind yah, bowls too." I grabbed a bowl and next to it I saw some off brand corn flakes, beggars can't be choosers. Placing the bowl on the table, I took the cereal off the shelf and took a guess at where the spoons, and hopefully knives, were. My first guess was right, they were in the drawer right underneath the cabinet. I looked back at Stan to make sure he wasn't looking at me, his face was hidden by the paper, and I quickly pocketed a knife. _This is most certainly a safety hazard. _I then pulled out a spoon and then closed the drawer, I grabbed the box cereal as well. I was a little hesitant to grab the milk out of the fridge, but my hunger won over my concern.

Now sitting at the table, I poured the cereal and milk into the bowl and asked, "What are the kids' names anyway?" _Yeah... still totally hurts to ask questions like that._

"Dylan and Rowena." _And responses like that hurt even more. _"Wait, no no, Dipper and Mabel." What would their reaction be when they find out that they have to share a room with me. I was very excited to see the twins, but would they think highly of me like I think highly of them? Mabel I wasn't too worried about, but Dipper? Gaining his trust, even his friendship, would be a task and a half. And what about after I, hopefully, gain his trust, would I tell him about who I really am? There will most likely be slip ups from me down the line, that I am sure of, and there is no way that his curious and paranoid personality won't pick up on them. My best bet was going along with what happened in the show, even if my presence alters it a bit. At least the time I spend here will be exhilarating.

"I'm really sorry about all this Stan," I said with a sigh. He brought down the paper that he was "reading" and looked at me. "I don't want to be a problem to you or your business and I can't really do much to repay you because I'm only a seventeen year old kid that can't even remember my full name. But even with that in account, you've taken exceptional care of me, so thank you." Stan studied my face with slightly squinted eyes, as if looking for something.

"Are you sure that you're a teenager," he said at last. "Kids never show gratitude these days." He looked away for a second. "That's why I was hesitant to hire Wendy." he then looked back at me. "But you," he pointed a finger at me. "I like you, you've got a good character, don't lose that."

I smiled slightly, "Thank you Stan."

"Alright, let's save the sap," he said now standing up, fixing his bowtie. "Wendy and Soos should be here any minute and so should the tourists." A second later the gift shop bell rang. "Duty calls." And with that, Stan walked out of the room. I stood up soon after as well, putting everything back where it belonged and patted my pocket to make sure the knife was still there. It was.

I quickly walked upstairs to the attic bedroom, opened the door and stepped inside, making sure to lock it when it was closed. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out the blade and did a small twirl with it in my hand. Now sitting on one of the beds, I dragged my bag to my feet and brought it up onto my lap, making sure that my name was facing me. With some effort I was able to get the entire blade of the knife inside the thick backpack fabric and began to cut at it. I made sure that there were jagged edges of the cut and even scratched the internal fabrics of the bag and I ripped out the name once I was able to grasp it so there would be loose threads everywhere, it needed to look as natural as possible. With that in mind, I added extra cuts and holes throughout the bag's surface to make it even more convincing.

Grabbing the cut out pieces, along with the knife, I stuffed them into my pocket and stood up. I kicked my bag to the right corner of the room and made my way over to the door, unlocked it and stepped through it to the stairs where I heard light chatter. Peeking my head around the corner and down the staircase, I spotted Wendy and Soos conversing near the foot of the steps and sighed in relief at the fact that it was just them and not some government agents. I started to make my way down and they instantly spotted me.

"What's up, Matt? Me and Soos were just about to come and get you," Wendy called.

I raised an eyebrow in response, "You were getting me for what exactly?"

"We are going to help you get started working here, like us!" Soos said excitedly.

They both started to walk to the gift shop as Wendy spoke, "Get your keister over here, noobie. You've got a lot to learn." I gave a small smile as I followed suit. Soos held the door open for me as we walked into the iconic gift shop. Wendy turned to me and out her hands on her hips. "First order of business, clean up your mess from yesterday." She grabbed a broom from the corner of the room and handed it to me.

I took a deep breath, "Fair enough." I made my way over to the collapsed postcard stand while Wendy and Soos went over to the cash register. I placed the broom so that it was leaning against a shelf. I picked the stand off the ground and set it up properly. I glanced over to the pair on the other side of the room, I needed to learn even more about them. "So how old are you two anyway?" I asked as I knelt down and started picking up scattered postcards. I was pretty sure that I knew the answer but Wendy looked like she was at least eighteen (especially in the show) not fifteen, while Soos looked like his age, didn't act like it though.

"Fifteen," Wendy replied as she leaned against the desk.

They both looked in my direction. "Twenty-two," Soos said proudly. "What about you, dawg?"

"I'm seventeen," I stated, looking smugly at Wendy.

"Boo, of course you're older than me. I should have known, you're pretty tall." Wendy responded. She was at least five foot-ten, so to her I guess I was tall. Soos, on the other hand, was at least four inches taller than me, so around six foot-four. He really was a big dude.

"Don't let that put you down, Wendy," I said. "You have more experience here than I do."

She snapped and gave me a finger gun motion, "That's true," Wendy smiled and I gave a small chuckle in response and returned the postcards in their proper place. Just then, Stan came bolting in the room panting heavily.

All three of us snapped our attention to him. "Woah, Mr. Pines, are you all right?" Soos asked as Stan ran right past him.

Stan blurted out, "I read the kids' parent's email wrong, they're coming at 12!" I checked my phone to see the time, my eyes widened when I saw it. It was 11:47. _Okay, I was definitely in that shower for more than twenty minutes and I totally lost track of time, I hate when that happens! _

Wendy spoke up, a bit frantic, "What?! How can you misread an email?!"

Stan glared at her, "I don't know! I'm still getting used to this whole technology thing!"

"Technology doesn't change the way numbers look ya codger!" _I think she meant boomer... is that even remotely close to a thing yet?_

I couldn't help but smile at the classic Pines family mayhem. "Alright whatever, you made a mistake, just go get them right now." I said reassuringly.

Stan's gaze switched to me, he did not calm down like I thought he would. "I can't! I have a tour at the same time!" My face fell, _Yep that's definitely a problem. _

"Okay then, we'll cover for you," I said. "We'll let the brain dead tourists check out all the merchandise while you're gone." Wendy snickered at the suggestion.

Stan facepalmed and then looked at me while saying, "That's not too good for business, kid. Those tourists are going to be way more interested in the gift shop after the tour."

I held a blank expression, "Do you have a choice?" He was about to reply with a raised finger, but he stopped midway through and muttered to himself.

He walked over to the door and opened it. "If anything goes wrong while I'm gone you're all responsible, even if you didn't do nothin'!" He slammed the door behind him as he ran out to his car, started it and gunned it so hard down the road that he destroyed a sign that said 'BE AMAZED' making Wendy lose it.

Soos only sighed in response and said, "I'll go get the spare." That's when I lost it too. The fact that Stan probably did something like that on a regular occasion is hilarious to me. Our laughter subsided when Soos walked outside with the spare sign and some tools. I glanced over to Wendy and I remembered what I needed to do.

"Hey, um, Wendy," I cleared my throat and she looked over to me. "Do you know my last name, by any chance?"

She leaned back on the desk. "I wondered when you were going to ask me that. I have seen my fair share of last names, but I gotta say yours is kinda cool. I thought it was a nickname at first." _She wasn't wrong, almost all of my friends call me by my last name. It's been a little hard getting used to only being called by my first name and not my last. _

I smirked a little, "It is kinda weird isn't it?" She nodded in reply. "Okay, this is a huge favor to ask, but can we keep it a secret ginger to ginger? I'm not from around here and if Stan finds out my last name he could probably track me back to my hometown and I do not want him freaking out." She nodded again in understanding, which alleviated a lot of stress that was building up. Wendy looked like she was about to bring something up, but Soos walking back into the building cut her off.

"Mr. Pines really needs to work on his driving," Soos stated after the door closed behind him. "This is the fourth time this year that he has broken one of his own signs." He shook his head.

"Do you guys know anything about those twins anyway?" I needed to seem like I have no idea who they are. A few seconds later I heard a loud screech from outside and Stan's car came barreling into view.

"Hehe, looks like we'll find out soon, dude." Soos replied with a chuckle.

Soos and Wendy seemed completely cool and relaxed but I was confused. "Okay, am I the only one that noticed that he probably did a ten minute drive in about two?" They both shook their heads. "How many road safety laws did he break?!" I looked back and forth between the two and they just simply shrugged.

"That's Stan for ya," Wendy answered with a small chuckle. I turned around and looked out the window to see two kids get out the back seat of Stan's car, one full of energy and excitement and the other visibly disheveled. Stan was a few feet ahead of them as he himself turned to face the two stepping out of the car.

He declared loudly," Welcome to the Mystery Shack!"

**A/N**

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	2. Tourist Trapped

**So here I am with a fifteen freaking thousand word update for you guys that is equivalent to a thirty one page google doc. This is by far the most writing I've ever done.**

**Also now with every chapter that is being uploaded, there will be some sketches of scenes from the story uploaded on my Instagram toastymagic13 to promote it, so go check 'em out!**

I was a little surprised, not really actually, at the fact Stan managed to drive to the bus drop off, pick up the twins and drive home in almost no time at all. Once Stan stepped inside I voiced my growing concern. "Stan, I have a couple questions, first I thought you said that the kids would be here at twelve." I glanced at the clock in the corner of the gift shop. "It's barely 11:50."

Stan just shrugged and replied, "Beats me kid I guess they were a little early, they were waiting when I arrived." I heard Wendy give a very noticeable facepalm.

"And secondly, how many laws did you break driving there and back!?" I practically screamed.

"I don't know, but it was certainly way too many," a small voice said in the doorway behind Stan, prompting the old, reckless man to turn and face it. And there they were. My eyes bulged slightly at the sight of the twins. They were actually standing in front of me. I know that they were made short in the show to symbolize how young they really were, but they were taller than I thought they would be, both of their heads were just below my shoulders. Placing her bag down next to her with great excitement, Mabel was wearing her iconic shooting star sweater and in her hair was her pink headband. She had a huge smile on her face, showing her braces and I could swear that I saw some twinkles in her wild eyes. Her brown hair was the exact same color as her brother's, who was standing behind her with both hands on his backpack straps. Although Dipper hid it well, I could see in his eyes that he was a little nervous to be here. He was wearing his brown star cap that he will soon lose later, and had his orange t-shirt with his navy vest covering it.

Stan looked back at his extended family and then to me, Wendy, Soos and gave a small clap. "Okay introduction time." Everyone in the room looked at him. "These two, are my grand niece and nephew, M-"

Mabel cut her uncle off with a boom of excitement, "Hi! My name is Mabel Pines! I am twelve years old, thirteen by the end of this summer!" She stepped back slightly behind her brother and placed both hands on his shoulders saying, "And this is my twin brother Dipper." Dipper gave a very shy wave to the group before him and Mabel stepped forward again, her impossible smile growing, and asked, "Well, who are you guys?"

Wendy gave a small chuckle and pointed to Mabel, "She is full of energy, I like her." Wendy rectracted her finger and gestured to Soos and I. "The big guy is Matt, and the even bigger guy is Soos." Both of us smiled at the twins, Soos did it because of his kind nature but I did to try and ease Dipper.

Soos tipped his cap for the twins while I reached out for a fist bump for Mabel. She gladly reciprocated my action, maybe a little too enthusiastically, my knuckles stung after her fist hit mine. Next was Dipper, I reached out just like I had done a few seconds ago with his sister and he looked at my fist and then to the uncovered, very notable bruise on my hand. I had completely forgotten that was there, but I hid my slight panic and he fist bumped me very reluctantly.

Wendy then gestured to herself, "My name's Wendy, and no, me and Matt are not siblings." Huh, never really thought about that, we do look kind of similar, same hair color, same skin tone… then again all gingers have that.

Mabel's face fell a little bit, but she remained excited as ever. "Aw, I really thought that we were going to twin it up in here." Wendy and I looked at each other and then to Dipper and he just gave a shrug. "Ah whatever," Mabel continued. "We can still be friends!" _I sure hope so!_

Stan spoke up after a few seconds, needing confirmation that his grand niece was done talking before he did so himself. "Wendy is the Mystery Shack's cashier and Soos is our handyman." Stan then looked at me for a moment, trying to come up with a title for me. It was indeed a smart move not telling the twins that I had "memory loss", imagine what it would be like then having to tell the two of them that I would not only be looking after them, but bunking with them as well. That most definitely would not go over well. "And Matt here is new, so the three of us are going to be showing him the ropes until he gets the hang of it. But until then, he will be looking after you guys…and you will be sharing a room with him." Stan said that last part in no more than a whisper so no one would hear him except me.

Dipper and Mabel looked at each other, they had heard their grunkle speak but couldn't make it out. I then leaned over to Stan and motioned him closer so I could whisper in his ear. "Don't worry, I'll tell them, you've already been sketchy enough in front of them." We both pulled away from each other and Stan gave me a quick nod that not only showed his understanding, but his gratitude as well. If the twins knew that their uncle had authorized a teenager four years older than they are to sleep in the same room as them, it would most likely plant the seeds of disapproval in their minds for their great uncle. Stan is truly amazing, even if he doesn't seem like it.

"Okay," I said after a few seconds of silence, and I'm pretty sure I scared Soos with my sudden announcement. "Stan, how about I show Dipper and Mabel to their room and you guys can take care of things down here."

Stan flipped his eye patch over his glasses and gave me a thumbs up, "You got it kid." If I didn't know any better I'd say that I was starting to grow on him. "Wendy, Soos, you two know what you guys have to do."

Wendy gave a nod and walked behind the counter and took her seat and Soos tightened his toolbelt that I didn't even notice he had on. "Sure thing Mr. Pines," Soos replied and walked out of the room.

Stan turned to me and the twins, "Once the work day gets going all three of you are going to help out around here, but for now Matt is going to show you around. I'll see ya later." Stan then walked out the front door and the second the door was closed Wendy pulled out a magazine that was underneath the register.

I couldn't help but laugh at that, "Nice," I said with a thumbs up and then gestured for the twins to follow me. Mabel picked up her bag that she had placed down earlier and they both followed me out of the giftshop.

Once we reached the bottom of the stairs I decided that it was a good idea to break the ice with the both of them. "So what brings you guys to Gravity Falls anyway?" I had to start simple in order for them to get comfortable with me.

To my surprise, Dipper was the one that answered my question, "Well, our parents decided that we could use some fresh air so they sent us from our hometown in California up to here. We should be staying in town for the rest of the summer." Dipper let out a sigh after he was finished talking. I knew that Dipper didn't want to come here at first, but I know for a fact that he did not regret being here after summer ended. It will just take some time.

We were about to walk into the bedroom and I turned to face them. "I know it might suck, being pulled from your element and all, but trust me this summer is going to be great." I noticed Mabel grew excited at my comment, but Dipper did not show any signs of his mood lightening up.

Mabel placed a hand on her brother's shoulder, "He's right bro-bro, we can do so much this summer that we could have never done back in Piedmont."

A small smile started to grow on my face, "Yeah think about it, no parents and no boundaries! And plus I get to look after you guys, I know that both of you are twelve and that you don't really want any parental guidance, but I'm not going to act like an overbearing parent needing to know what you're doing every second of the day." I could see Dipper start to give a little smile at my reassurance. "I want you guys to have fun this summer and have the time of your lives." I turned back around to face the door, "And now presenting your room!" Turning the knob and pushing the door to the room open, I let them walk in first and watched Mabel run straight over to her bed and pull out some posters she must have gotten from home. She wasted no time at all putting them up on the wall beside her sleeping spot.

When Mabel was finished, she faced Dipper and I, "This attic is amazing!" She shook her hands out in front of her in excitement. "Check out all my splinters!" Mabel quickly plucked them out of her hands and hopped off of her bed.

"And there's a goat on my bed." I turned to see Dipper standing defensively and staring at the animal that had just bleated at him.

I walked forward, "How did Gompers get up here and through the door without anyone knowing?" I tried to get him to move, but it was no use.

Mabel made her way across the room and over my bed. Well, mattress. "Aww, he has a name!" Dipper and I exchanged glances as Mabel began to pet the goat. "Hey friend!" Soon after, Gompers started to chew on Mabel's sweater. "Oh, yes you can keep chewing on my sweater." She gave a small laugh either realizing that she said was crazy or she really thought a goat biting her clothing was funny. Either way she didn't stop him so I intervened.

I picked up the goat and he bleated in protest, but I held my grip. "C'mon Gompers let's get you outta here." I turned and faced the twins and saw that they started unpacking their things. "Once you guys are done settling, meet me outside, okay?"

Mabel saluted in response and yelled, "Yes sir, summer caretaker sir!" I laughed and descended the stairs and thought that I should exit through the gift shop, since that was the way the twins walked into the shack. They probably didn't know another exit so that's the way I went. I pushed the employees only door open using my shoulder and walked into the giftshop.

Wendy, to my surprise, had responsibly put down her magazine since now there were tourists in the room. She looked at me as soon as I walked through the door and gave a confused look when she realized that I was carrying a goat. She was about to say something but I cut her off, "Don't ask. I hardly know myself." That was all she needed, and she went back to doing her job as a customer walked up to the counter.

"Hey, excuse me?" I stopped and turned to see a tourist holding her son's hand. "Can I take a picture of your goat with my son? It's his favorite animal." I looked down at the boy and he was very happy to see the animal, I couldn't break his little heart. The mother looked like she was in her mid forties and her son was wearing a question mark t-shirt, which I assume was just bought and had a mix of blonde and brown hair, his head barely reached his mother's waist.

"Of course he can," I said squatting down. I let go of Gompers and he made his way over to the boy. The child started giggling when the mischievous goat started sniffing his hand and then started to lick it.

Not wanting to pass up the moment, the boy's mother let go of her son's other hand to take a photo. As soon as Gompers saw a camera being pulled out, he changed his interest from the hand to the shirt the boy was wearing. I then heard a click, indicating that a picture was taken and the mother put her camera away and pulled out a ten dollar bill and handed it to me. "Thank you so much, that picture is so precious!" She took her giggling son's hand. "Have a nice day!" They began to walk away, making Gompers bleat. He lost a new friend.

"Wow look at you," Wendy started when the two were gone. "You're a natural."

I turned and faced her, "You saw that right?"

She nodded, "All of it, that was very generous of her." I heard footsteps approaching and I quickly pocketed the money and picked up Gompers and he started chewing on my sweatshirt.

The goat was a little more relentless this time like he was trying to actually eat it. "Hey, Gompers! Stop it!" I let go of him with one hand and with it, I tried to pry his mouth off of my chest. _Is he hissing at me? I didn't know goats hiss! _The twins walked in and Wendy started laughing hysterically at my effort to get my sweatshirt free. "C'mon let go, this is brand new!" The twins started to laugh too at the sight before them and then a loud rip silenced everyone.

I let go of his head and heard him swallow the piece of fabric that he tore. I held him with both hands again and brought him to eye level. "You are one stupid goat." He just bleated at me in response making everyone start laughing again, including me.

"You know he didn't mean it right?" Dipper asked after the laughter subsided.

I sighed in response, "Yeah I know, but it sure feels like he did."

Wendy went back to reading her magazine from earlier, still laughing lightly and I glanced back down at the goat in my arms. "Okay mister, time for you to back outside." Mabel ran ahead of me and held the gift shop door open for me, Dipper followed suit. I noticed that he took a book and a pen out of his vest pocket, he might need a little push so he doesn't isolate himself all the time.

After I descended the steps I walked a few yards and then set Gompers down back on his feet. He trotted away, not a care in the world. I looked up to see Mabel on top of a grassy hill and Dipper sitting at the base of a tree near the bottom of said hill. I smiled knowing what comes next.

Mabel laid herself down and loudly proclaimed as she started rolling, "Yay! Grass!" She sped right past her brother who had a woodpecker on top of his hat now and was pecking at him while writing in his book. I then saw Stan creeping up behind him with his swamp monster mask on and I wanted to call out to him, but I was too late. Dipper let out a shriek and fell over as Stan yelled, "BOO!" When he recovered, Dipper just stared at his great uncle, without the slightest sign of amusement on his face. Stan was laughing his head off after he took off the mask that somehow went over his fez. He slapped his knee while still laughing and started coughing up a storm. "Augh augh augh, ough, it was worth it." He hit his chest hoping it was the last of the surprise onslot.

I made my way over to the two and crossed my arms. "I know that he is your grand nephew and all, but I don't think that you should be scaring him like that." Dipper stood up and dusted himself off. "Don't you have a tour to take care of?"

"It just ended and the mask was a prop that I used," Stan said and then looked at Dipper. "Don't worry kid, you weren't the only one to get spooked by me today.

I rolled my eyes, and Dipper responded, "Gee, thanks." Mabel then ran up to us, clearly dizzy from rolling down the hill, she could hardly stand up straight. Her brother looked at her with a degree of concern, "Mabel are you okay?"

She clumsily waved a hand through the air in response, "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, but you sure got spooked there huh bro-bro? That was a good one Grunkle Stan!" She went to give him a high five, but she fell on her face from not being able to control her momentum. Even though she had her face in the ground she gave us all a thumbs up, "I'm okay!" Her voice was heavily muffled and we barely heard her. Despite Mabel poking fun at him, Dipper still helped her up to her feet, you gotta admire that.

Stan looked at the watch on his wrist, "Okay fun's over people." When Mabel was back on her feet she gave a very exaggerated 'Aw', but he ignored it and led us back into the Mystery Shack. As soon as we walked through the door, Stan gave Dipper the broom that was leaning against the wall and pointed over to a sign that read 'NO REFUNDS'. Dipper took the broom, walked over to the spot his grunkle wanted him to clean. He started sweeping with a notable sigh. Mabel followed him and showed interest in a large demon eyeball that was on sale. She went to touch it with her hand but Stan quickly ran over and hit her hand with his eight-ball cane. "No touching the merchandise." This made Mabel frown and Stan walked away into the museum.

_I kind of forgot how ruthless Stan could be, especially at the beginning of the summer. The twins haven't melted his heart yet. _I crossed my arms and shook my head, "He has some nerve." They both looked kind of upset. "Don't worry he'll warm up to guys eventually, and we'll do whatever you guys want later."

After I finished speaking the gift shop bell rang indicating that a customer walked in, Mabel and I turned to see who it could be while Dipper went back to sweeping the floor. The newcomer was a boy, probably the same age as the twins, and he walked over to the stand of cards that I knocked over yesterday. Mabel quickly ran over to him.

Dipper rolled his eyes at his sister, "Here we go."

When she approached her unsuspecting interest, he had picked up a card off of the stand and was reading it. Once Mabel was right behind him she grabbed his attention, "My name's Mabel, but you can call me the girl of your dreams." She batted her eyelashes at the poor kid and I could tell that he was very surprised, he even looked at me and I just shrugged. "I'm joking!" Mabel pushed him into the stand of cards and onto the wooden floor. She started laughing maniacally, "Ha Ha Ha HA!"

She ran back to me and Dipper, we just gave a look of disapproval. Mabel didn't seem to notice and she proclaimed, "I think he likes me." _Ya don't say? _

I shook my head and made my way over to the kid who was still sprawled out on the ground. I offered him my hand, "I'm really sorry about her, sometimes I don't think that she realizes her destructive tendencies." The boy took my hand and I pulled him to his feet.

"It's whatever," He said as he dusted himself off. "But if it's all the same to you, I'm gonna go before another attempt on my life is made." I nodded and he sped out of the door.

Wendy clapped her hands, "Woohoo, nice going Mabel!" Mabel put her hands on her hips and beamed at the comment.

I picked up the stand and started placing the cards back in their respective places. "Don't encourage this," I said to Wendy, making her laugh a little.

"Hey Dipper," Mabel asked, prompting him to look at his sister. "Do you have a piece of paper and a pen?" Dipper nodded as he placed the broom on the wall and reached into his vest. He tossed her his pen from earlier and tore some paper out of the book he was writing in. "Thanks Dipper!" Mabel wasted no time and began to furiously write something down.

Some time went by and eventually, the next finished tour group walked into the gift shop and were browsing at the Shack's merchandise. Mabel was whispering to herself behind a shelf that was crowded with Mr. Mystery exclusive bobbleheads as a different boy stepped on a paper that she had dropped there a few minutes earlier. He picked it up and began reading what was written on it out loud, "Uh, Do you like me? Yes. Definitely. Absolutely?" He looked around with confusion.

"I rigged it!" Mabel quietly yelled.

Dipper rolled his eyes once again at his sister's antics. "Mabel," Dipper grabbed her attention. "I know you're going through your whole 'Boy Crazy' phase but I think you're kind of overdoing it with the 'Crazy' part." Dipper was washing a jar of eyeballs that a kid got his fingerprints all over a few minutes prior with a wet rag.

Mabel turned to face her brother and I leaned on the wall, wanting to hear their conversation. "What!" Mabel said loudly and then blew a raspberry. "Come _on, _Dipper! This our first summer away from home. It's my big chance to have an epic summer romance."

Dipper spread his arms out a little and questioned his sister, "Yeah, but do you have to flirt with every guy you meet?" He put his arms back to his sides and looked at me, "Right after we got off the bus, she saw a kid holding a turtle sitting on a bench and started flirting with him. And don't even get me started when she saw the mattress prince."

I stifled a laugh and Mabel shook her finger at Dipper, "Mock all you want, brother but I've got a good feeling about this summer." She gestured behind her with her thumb and stated, "I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now."

Heavenly music played in my mind as Stan walked through the museum door holding signs under his right arm and a can of Pitt Cola in his right hand, belching very loudly. "Oh. Oh! Not good, ow."

Mabel squinted in disgust, "Oh, why?!" Dipper and I laughed at Mabel's misfortune.

I crossed my arms, "Careful what you wish for Mabel."

She stuck out her tongue, "Bleh, yup, lesson learned."

Once most of the tourists had filed out Stan declared, "Alright, alright, look alive people! I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest."

"Not it!" The three of us yelled.

Soos, who was now installing a shelf into the wall with a power drill, said, "Uh, also not it!"

Stan's voice quieted down a bit, "Nobody asked you Soos."

"I know, and I'm comfortable with that," he stated as he pulled half of a chocolate bar out of his pocket and began eating it.

Stan turned to the otherside of the room where Wendy was lazily reading her magazine and shouted, "Wendy! I need you to put up this sign!"

She made an attempt to grab it from the other side of the room, "I would, but I-uhh-can't-uhh- reach it-uhh."

Stan blatantly said, "I'd fire all of you if I could." He turned and faced us, "Alright, let's make it eeny-meeny-miney-you." Stan pointed his finger at Dipper.

He looked surprised, he should have seen it coming. "Oh, what? Grunkle Stan,when I was near those woods I felt like I felt like I was being watched."

Stan rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Ah, _this _again. I've heard so many people coming through here saying that they have seen some weird stuff in the woods."

"I'm telling you, something feels weird about this town. In the short time I've been here my mosquito bites spell out 'BEWARE.'

Dipper extended his arm to show his uncle. "That says 'BEWARB,'" Stan said in response causing Dipper to scratch the bites in embarrassment. "Look kid," Stan made air quotes with his free hand. "The whole 'Monsters In The Forest' thing is just local legend." He then gestured to himself, "It's drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that." He pointed to a sweaty bald guy laughing idiotically at a Mr. Mystery bobblehead. Stan tossed the signs under his right arm into Dipper's hands. "So quit being so paranoid!"

Dipper only gave a sigh in response. I put a hand on his shoulder, "I'll come with you." Stan handed me a hammer and some nails and I led Dipper over to the door and held it open for him. Once we descended the porch steps Dipper sighed again, "Ugh, nobody believes anything I say." He then pointed to the trees on the edge of the clearing that the shack was located in. "Like, all those branches up there are snapped for no reason at all and right underneath them there is a small indent in the ground indicating that something fell there." I just awkwardly looked to the side and kept walking forward. "If that's not weird, I don't know what is."

After a few seconds of silence I spoke up, "I don't think you're wrong Dipper, this town does have a really weird vibe to it." He didn't reply and we made our way over to the trees near the dirt road leading to what I assumed to be a main town road. "Why would he want us to hang up signs in the forest anyway, it's not like people are going to see them."

Dipper shrugged, "Beats me, but let's just get this over with." Both of us walked off the road and into the woods. When I found a tree that resembled the fake one I told him to come over. _If he wants to get it over with, so be it._ He handed me a sign and I hit a nail into the tree and it made a clang sound. "Wait what?" I tried to sound as confused as I could. I didn't want to seem suspicious, even though the first tree that I hit was a metal one. Could have thought that through more.

Dipper placed his hand on the trunk and moved it along in front of it, dust was all over it. I stepped back as Dipper saw a small seam in the side of the trunk, he was going to pry it open. The hatch groaned in protest and revealed a console with two switches on top of it. He reached out and flipped one of the switches, "What is all of this?"

"I have no idea, but I knew something was weird about this place!" I said with a big smile on my face. _Now this is one of the coolest things I've ever seen! I actually have a first hand experience of Dipper discovering the journal. _He flipped the second switch and we heard a machine whir behind us revealing a dug out hole in the ground that Gompers just so happened to be grazing at. This scared the goat and he ran away with a loud bleat.

Both of us turned around to see the cobwebbed mechanical hole in the ground. I then realized that Dipper was looking at me a little suspiciously so I squinted at the hole, "Is that a book?" This question peeked Dipper's interest even more, making him walk over and peer into the hole for himself. He stared wide eyed at the dusty old journal before him, not even the bugs that crawled out of the item's chamber could shake Dipper's curiosity. He reached in with both hands and lifted the journal out of the ground, tearing the cobwebs from its front and back cover in the process.

Once it was eye level with him, Dipper gave a mighty blow which cleared off most of the dust from the book revealing a golden six fingered hand with a number three written in the middle of it. He placed it down on the ground and got on all fours, prompting me to sit beside him since my knees still hurt.

Dipper opened the cover of the book and inspected the monocle attached to the book. He then turned the page and read aloud, "'It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began studying the strange and wondrous secrets of of Gravity Falls, Oregon.'" Dipper turned the old crinkled page and we both stared, awestruck, at the contents of the book. It revealed floating eyeballs, giant vampire bats, gnomes and even cursed objects.

He kept flipping until he noticed that the pages went blank, flipping back to the previous page I read its contents. "'Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before _he_ finds it. Remember, in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust.'"

We both looked at one another and then back to the book and Dipper echoed, "No one you can trust…" We both stood up and he closed the book, he was looking at me unsure of what to say next.

"HELLO!" Mabel shouted loudly behind us, making both of us scream. "Watcha reading some nerd thing?"

Dipper quickly stuffed the journal behind his back and stuttered, "Uh-uh-it's nothing!"

Mabel imitated her brother, "Uh-uh-it's nothing!" She laughed at herself and then asked light heartedly, "What? Are you actually not going to show me?"

Dipper looked to me for confirmation but I was too busy fending off Gompers who was trying to chew on my pant leg. He then looked back to his sister and said, "Let's go somewhere more private."

Now walking back on the road leading to the Mystery Shack, I took off my ruined sweatshirt and slung it over my shoulder and I was now proudly showing off my own question mark t-shirt. The cuts and bruises on my arms were now completely visible, but I didn't care. I sighed, "I shouldn't have picked up that stupid goat again, I should've known that he was going to chew on me and make an even bigger hole."

Mabel stifled a giggle, "He really doesn't like you, but not to worry!" I looked at her with a slightly raised eyebrow. "You just so happen to be in the presence of an arts and crafts master."

I smiled and Dipper rolled his eyes, "You don't even have a sewing machine with you that you can fix it with, and I highly doubt that Stan has one laying around."

That point discouraged Mabel a little bit, but not for long. She perked up a few seconds later, "We can go get one!"

Dipper shrugged realizing that he lost, making me laugh, "I have some money, so after we show your sister what we found, how about we head into town?" They both nodded and it was settled. Once we reached the shack, instead of going through the giftshop I showed them the house entrance on the other side of the building and we entered the shack. All three of us quickly went upstairs to the attic and once we were all inside I turned and locked the door. I threw my sweatshirt on my mattress.

With the room now secured, Dipper pulled out the old journal and walked to his sister who was now seated on her bed with great excitement, "It's amazing! Grunkle Stan thought I was being paranoid, but according to this Gravity Falls has this secret darkside."

Dipper showed Mabel some pages of the book prompting him to hit it in disbelief, "Woah, shut up!"

Dipper's smile grew, "And get this: After a certain point, the pages just stop, like the guy who was writing it mysteriously disappeared."

I walked over to my backpack, bent down and zipped open a zipper for my wallet. I'm going to need more than ten dollars for the cost of a sewing machine. Just then I realized that almost all of the contents of my bag are school supplies, so I noted to hide them somewhere at one point. I stood up and faced them, "That book has some seriously wacky stuff in it, I wonder how much of it is actually real?"

Dipper looked at me with hope in his eyes, "Maybe all of it is real, and the fact that there are most likely two other journals- since this one has a number three on its cover- is insane!"

Dipper started flipping through the pages once again and Mabel's gaze drifted to the mattress in the middle of the room. _Oh boy. _"Matt, why is there an extra bed in here anyway?" Mabel asked, swinging her legs innocently on the bed.

I had to think fast, "I actually slept up here last night, Stan was showing me everything around here until it was very late so I just bunked here." _That's somewhat believable. _"I knew that you guys were coming in the morning, so I didn't sleep on your beds because I would get them all dirty or mess up the sheets." _That's the best I'm going to get. _

Dipper looked up from the journal and waved a hand through the air, "It would have been fine man. Also, why didn't you sleep on that couch in the T.V. room?"

Mabel gave a small laugh at my blank face and eventually I smiled too. "Yeah, that would have been smart wouldn't it?" I said. "Ah, well the past is in the past. C'mon you two, let's get a move on." I walked over to the door, unlocked it, and stepped out with the twins following suit.

For what felt like the millionth time, we walked into the giftshop and over to Wendy's cashier desk. Wendy heard us come in and put down her magazine, "There you guys are! I was wondering where you went."

I scratched the back of my head, "Yeah sorry about that, I was showing them around and now they want to go into town for a little while. Do you know where the keys to the golf cart are?" Without saying a word Wendy opened a drawer and tossed the keys to me. I smiled, "Thanks Wendy, you're the best."

She gave a smirk, "Anytime." Her focus switched to the twins. "How do you guys like it here so far?"

Dipper patted his vest pocket that contained the journal, "It is certainly growing on us."

Wendy gave a bit of a surprised look, "Well that's nice to hear, you guys have fun."

All three of us waved goodbye and walked outside and into the parking lot.

Mabel started sprinting over to the cart and yelled, "Shotgun!" She quickly jumped into the cart, buckled her seatbelt and began tapping her foot furiously. Mabel's tempo grew faster and faster the closer Dipper and I got.

"She must really want that sewing machine, huh?" I asked Dipper.

"She really loves her arts and crafts, the sweater she is wearing right now is one she made herself," Dipper said with clear pride in his sister.

Once we reached the cart, I sat in the driver's seat, inserted the key into the ignition, and started the engine. After I made sure that they both had seatbelts on, I backed out of the parking lot and drove onto the road away from the shack. "We've got a little bit of a ride ahead of us, so if you have any questions about me go ahead and shoot." I know pretty much everything about them, it's only fair for them to get to know me too.

The twins exchanged glances and Dipper asked, "I didn't want to be rude earlier, but now since the door to ask questions is open, we were wondering why you're all jacked up."

Mabel chimed in, "Yeah, what's with all the small cuts on your face and bruises on your arms. You didn't get in a fight did you?"

I cracked a smile, "No, Mabel, I didn't get into a fight. For starters, the bruises only look as bad as they do because of my pale skin, they don't really hurt all that much." _That's a big lie. _All day my arms and legs have been in a good deal of pain, I've just been masking it surprisingly well. Walking up and down the attic stairs has been quite annoying, but good thing no running has been involved yet. "I got both the cuts and bruises from running in the woods, well running from _something._ I don't know what it was but I didn't want to stick around to find out. Branches hit me in the face, hence all the scratches, and I tripped a few times which resulted in all the bruises." _Wow, I don't like how easy this lying thing is getting. _

Dipper was quiet for a moment, "Do you think whatever chased you was paranormal?"

"I wouldn't be surprised," I said, deciding to fuel his imagination and excitement. "It sounded like nothing I've heard before." I took my eyes off the road for a second and looked at Dipper, his face twisted in a big goofy smile, and I found myself smiling as well as I looked back at the road. We were now coming up to the main road and I wasn't sure which way was the correct way into town, but I went with my gut that said go right. It was the correct call, after about another minute of driving I spotted the Tent of Telepathy and the Gleeful family's car dealership. I couldn't help but feel like the tent's star symbol was staring at me so I sped up.

"Wow look at the size of that mall!" Mabel exclaimed. While I was busy looking at our future enemy's residence, the twins were looking all the way down the street, at least a mile, and saw the Gravity Falls Mall.

Dipper put his hand to his chin, "Why does such a small town need such a big mall?"

I shrugged, "Beats me kid, but it is very convenient for the little quest that we're on. There has got to be an arts and crafts store in there somewhere."

We reached the mall and parked the vehicle and I made sure to take the keys out of the ignition so that no one would commit grand theft cart. Once we were actually inside the mall, it took us a few minutes of searching to find the store that we needed and once we did Mabel pointed at it and sprinted right on in with Dipper and I following suit. When we walked in we saw Mabel scouring the shelves for a sewing machine that she liked. She eventually stopped at one, finally giving us a chance to get over to her.

"Mabel calm down, these machines aren't going anywhere," Dipper said slightly out of breath.

She lifted the sewing machine off of the shelf and into my hands, when I found the price tag I almost dropped it, thank god I didn't. "Mabel," I started and she looked at me excitedly. "This machine is well over four hundred dollars, I can't get this for you." Mabel's face fell, but then, very quickly, it lightened up. She went over to another shelf, grabbed a different sewing machine and handed it to me. I honestly expected this one to cost even more than the first one, but when I looked at the price tag it was only, "Huh, fifty dollars." I looked up to Mabel and her smile broadened as I handed it back to her. "Let's go ring it up," I said to her with a smile.

The three of us then made our way over to the register and I bought the item with no problem. When we exited the art store I could see Dipper looking into another store's window that clearly suited him. Inside on the shelves I could see there were comics, video games, trading cards and even some paranormal stuff that was totally his style.

"Hey Mabel," I caught her attention and could see that the smile she had earlier never left her face. "Why don't you go back out to the golf cart and wait for us, we gotta check something out."

"Okay," Mabel said happily as she started running through the mall to the exit, just barely being able to look over the box in her arms.

Dipper looked at me with a raised eyebrow, "Are you sure that's a good idea, she can hardly see anything when she's carrying that." As if on cue we heard Mabel yell 'Sorry!' to a random person that she must've bumped into.

I waved a hand through the air, "She'll be fine, besides I saw you eyeing up the store behind us. Wanna go check it out?" _There's no way me sending Mabel out on her own can backfire! Wait, actually… _

A grin grew on Dipper's face, "Really?" His response cut off my thoughts.

I put a hand on his shoulder, "Of course! Your sister got something she wanted, only makes sense that you do too." I led him into the store, and just like his sister, he was running up and down the shelves looking for something that interested him. After a few minutes of searching, Dipper came back to me holding a CD That said one word on it, 'BABBA.' He handed it to me and I made a huge smile, and his face fell. I bet he thought that I was going to laugh at him, but I wouldn't dream of it. "Now this is an absolutely stupendous choice, my friend!" Dipper's face lit up again and I brought it over to the cash register.

I pulled out the ten dollars from my pocket and handed it to the man behind the counter. The cashier looked at me with a confused look to which I responded, "Is there a problem here, sir?" The man quickly shook his head and handed the CD back to me and I took my change.

As soon as we left the store I tossed the music case to Dipper who fumbled it for a moment but eventually secured it in his grasp. "Thank you," Dipper said quietly, prompting me to look over to him.

"You're welcome."

We walked in a comfortable silence until we saw Mabel sitting in the golf cart in very high spirits gaze off at the cemetery. I nudged Dipper with my elbow, "Hey, is it just me or does your sister look even more happy than when she got the sewing machine?"

Dipper squinted to get a better view of his sister, "Huh, you're right." Once we got closer Dipper grabbed Mabel's attention. "Hey Mabel, what are you so stoked about? You look more energized than usual."

Her attention snapped to us indicating that she had no idea that we were there. "Oh hey guys," Mabel said with a small wave.

Once I got in the driver's seat I put a hand on her shoulder and asked, "Are you okay, you seem pretty distant, like you're looking forward to something."

She looked back and forth really quickly, "I'm fine, I-I just kind of got lost in my imagination waiting for you two to come back," Dipper and I just shrugged at one another and I started the cart's engine and drove us off back to the Mystery Shack.

Once we arrived, Mabel was glancing around as if looking for something, maybe even someone. It got to a point where she was just standing still surveying her surroundings with a smile on her face. I had to call out to her so she would come back inside.

I led the twins back into the gift shop, with Mabel's new sewing machine under my left arm, so I could return the keys to Wendy. She looked up from her magazine when she heard the bell ring, "Throw 'em here." I took the keys out of my pocket and tossed them to her now open hand. She made quite an impressive one handed grab and catch for them, making Mabel clap. "Huh, I didn't take you for a sewer, Matt," Wendy said as she was putting the keys away.

"Actually, I just got this for Mabel. I know you saw the goat bite a hole in my sweatshirt, so Mabel is going to fix it up for me!" I gave her a high five and the sound was extremely satisfying. _Ow! Yeah, she definitely high fives hard. _

Wendy smiled, "That's really sweet, good to see that you guys are hitting it off. You can go on inside. I can handle myself out here."

Dipper stepped forward, "Are you sure? We haven't really been around to help for the past hour."

Wendy gave us a thumbs up, "Yes I'm sure." She then made a shoo motion with her hand and just like that we were out of the room. Mabel found herself sitting on the arm of the couch and Dipper was already nose deep in the journal.

Suddenly the doorbell rang. Dipper looked up from the journal, "Who's that?"

Mabel shifted herself on the couch so that she was now facing her brother, "Well time to spill the beans." Then she poked a can of beans nearby so that it fell over. "Boop! Beans." My eyes widened severely. _She isn't supposed to say that until she meets-_ "This girl has got a date, whoop, whoop!" She fell back on the couch laughing. I put a hand on my forehead and could only look at the floor. _This isn't right! I know for a __**fact**_ _that she didn't meet "Norman" until a couple of days after she got here! _My hand found itself running down my face and I closed my eyes. _Come to think of it...Dipper wasn't supposed to find the journal on the first day he was here either! My presence and actions must have sped up the process of the story somehow! _My eyes opened and since I was too shocked to pay attention to my surroundings I didn't realize that Stan _and _Norman were now in the room.

"We met at the cemetery. He's _really _deep," Mabel said as she was grabbing his arm. "Ooh! Little muscle there. What-what a surprise."

Dipper squinted his eyes, "So what's your name?" I glanced over to Grunkle Stan, his face was a little shocked too. I know he knew about all the paranormal stuff during the entire course of the show, so he must be thinking that something is off about him. I am going to have to bring that up later.

Norman's visible eye widened, "Uh...Normal...Man!" He struggled with his words.

"He means Norman," Mabel said clinging closer to him.

"Are you bleeding, Norman?" Dipper asked not only with curiosity but growing suspicion as well.

"It's jam."

Mabel hit her new boyfriend in the chest, not affecting him at all, "Oh! I _love_ jam!" She then gestured to herself and Norman at the same time, "Look at this!"

Norman looked down at Mabel and asked, "So, you wanna go hold hands or...whatever?"

Mabel put a hand over her mouth and giggled, "Oh! Oh, my goodness. Don't wait up!" And with that she was gone. Norman gave Dipper, Stan and I a finger gun gesture and then followed suit, not after bumping into the wall a few times first.

Dipper looked back to me and then to Stan before grabbing my arm and leading me upstairs, he somehow didn't notice Soos on a stepladder fixing a light bulb. Dipper pulled out his journal and sat down at the seat in front of the window, "Okay, there is definitely something _off _about Norman." I sat down next to him and he opened the book. The first page he opened, conveniently, the undead page. He began reading, "Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes, these creatures are often mistaken for...Teenagers?! Beware Gravity Falls' nefarious…" He gasped loudly, making me crack a smile, "Zombie!" His voice echoed throughout the house, and I could have sworn I heard Stan state that he was losing his mind.

Dipper and I heard grunting coming from outside, so we quickly turned to look out of it to see Norman walking menacingly towards Mabel. Dipper's eyes widened as he yelled, "Oh no, Mabel! No! No, Mabel! Watch Out!" Norman put his hands on Mabel's shoulders making Dipper scream. I almost started laughing, Dipper kept pressing his face harder and harder into the window due to his accumulating stress. Norman removed his hands from Mabel's shoulders to reveal that he had actually made a necklace of daisies for her.

Dipper placed a hand on his chin and stood up, "Is my sister really dating a zombie, or am I just going nuts?"

"It's a dilemma to be sure," Soos spoke up out of nowhere making Dipper flinch greatly. "I couldn't help but hear you screaming in Matt's ear in this great big empty room."

Dipper turned to me, "Matt, you saw Mabel's boyfriend. He's got to be a zombie, right?"

Soos stopped what he was doing and squinted his eyes, "Hmm. How many brains did you see the guy eat?"

Dipper rolled his eyes and said in a disappointed voice, "Zero."

"Look, dude, I believe you. I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman? Pretty sure that dude's a werewolf." Soos then pointed to Dipper with his screwdriver, "But you gotta have evidence. Otherwise people are going to think you are a major league cuckoo clock."

Dipper looked to the floor and nodded, "Yeah, You're right, Soos."

Soos looked into space and stated, "My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse."

Then from downstairs, the three of us heard Stan yell, "Soos! The portable toilets are clogged again!"

Soos dutifully pulled down on his cap and said in a serious tone, "I am needed elsewhere." And with that, he proceeded to back pedal out of the room.

Dipper put the journal back into his vest pocket and started to walk towards the stairs, "C'mon let's go get some evidence."

I reached out and grabbed him, "Alright listen, I would totally come with you, but how do you think people would react if they saw a big sixteen year old guy, like myself, secretly watching a preeteen girl?"

"What about me?" Dipper asked.

"If someone does ask, which I doubt they will, just say that you are her brother and that you are making a summer time album for her." I looked off to the side, "The people in this town will have to believe that."

Dipper sighed, "Okay, I'll go find a camera. What are you going to do?"

"I'll do some more digging. Do you trust me with the book?" I said with a now outstretched hand.

"...Yes," Dipper reached into his vest pocket and handed me the journal, making me smile.

"Don't worry," I said reassuringly, "I'll give it back once we are done with this." He nodded and he made his way back downstairs. Once I couldn't see him anymore, I walked into the bedroom and hid the journal. I needed to find Stan. It took me a few minutes but I eventually found him seated in his office doing "taxes" and other stuff that must be illegal. I knocked on the open door and his gaze flew up to meet mine. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked.

Stan grabbed the papers on his desk and stuffed them in the top drawer of his desk. "Yeah sure kid, just give me a second here." He was having trouble closing the drawer due to the abundance of papers but eventually shut it with a forceful push cleared his throat, "What's on your mind," He asked while I closed the door behind me.

I stepped forward and crossed my arms, "What do you think of Mabel's new boyfriend?"

Stan shrugged, "I don't know, I just met the guy."

_Okay maybe this requires a more direct approach. _"I think he's a bit weird, it seems to be supernatural for him."

Stan raised an eyebrow, "I'm not sure I follow…" _Okay I agree, that was kinda weak._

I rolled my eyes and covered my face with my hand, "Ugh, you know what? Screw it!" I uncovered my face. "Do you think Norman is a zombie?"

"Oh, so that's what this is about," Stan said with a laugh. "Kid, like I said to Dipper, all of that stuff isn't real."

I shot my arms in the air, startling Stan a bit, "Oh c'mon, Stan! Work with me here! We both know that you're not an idiot, so would you stop acting like one?" Stan just looked at me blankly, "I know that you know that the supernatural exists, the only reason why you don't want to admit it is because you want to protect people from it." I crossed my arms again with a very serious expression. "You're an old guy, no offense, and I bet you've been here for a while, so it would only make sense that you've seen at least something. I haven't even been here for a full day and I've seen some unnatural stuff!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, none-"

I cut him off, "Yes you do. I'm not going to tell the twins about this conversation, you can deny it all you want to them, but as their caretaker, I need to be on the same page with you. So, would you please give me the honest answer."

Stan gave a long, irritated sigh, "Fine...yes...this town is full of unnatural and unholy things. I wouldn't be all that surprised if that Norman kid is a zombie either. What should we do about that?"

I waved a hand at him, "Dipper and I have it under control, he's out right now with them, gathering evidence."

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose, "So let me get this straight, right now, my grandniece and nephew are in the unsupervised presence of a potential zombie, and the person that I assigned to supervise them is right in front of me telling me about the situation and nowhere near where he should be."

I scoffed, "What?!" No, of course not." Stan looked at me unamused, "They're in public, there's plenty of supervision there. Plus, if Norman were really dangerous, he would have eaten her brain the first time they met."

I turned and started walking to the door but Stan spoke up when my hand reached the door knob. His face was very serious. "Matt, if anything happens to them, I'm holding you responsible. Got it?"

I opened the door and looked back at him, "Don't worry, . I promise that they'll be fine." And with that I was out of the room. _Funny, it took an entire season to get Stan to admit to the supernatural and I just got him to say it exists in under five minutes. _

I made my way back into the attic bedroom and shut the door behind me, all I needed to do was wait until Dipper comes back. I took the journal out of its hiding place, sat on my bed and began to look through its supernatural content. I have no idea how many times Dipper will actually let me look through this journal, so I need to refresh my memory on what this crazy town has in store for me. I purchased my own copy of journal number three a while back and I remember knowing that it has basically all the information that I need to be aware that the Mystery Shack once belonged to the author. When I decide to, which I know I will at some point, I can probably get Stan to reveal the portal to me. I always used to watch the theory videos of Stan having a twin brother, so I know where to look for the evidence that Stan is hiding something. He will try to deny that he is indeed hiding something but I am determined that I will get into that lab before Stan gets arrested, one way or another.

But to be honest, I don't even know if all of the crazy things the Pines family will encounter this summer will happen. So far I've already managed to speed up several plot points and dialogue from the show just by my presence, would it really be so far-fetched to say that other things will change? I'm not sure. I looked back down to the journal laying open in my lap. "One thing at a time," I sighed to myself. The gnomes that we will encounter in a few hours, I have never dealt with anything like that in my life. I always feel like I would be the person to run towards danger, to protect those I care about, but I've never been in that kind of situation before. Would I put myself in harm's way to protect others? I'm not sure.

With frustration growing, I ran both my hands through my hair and gave a groan. "Screw my overthinking brain, man. I hate it when I do that," I muttered to myself. I began looking through the book again, Moth Man, scampfires, barf fairies, the abominable bro-man, 'Steve?' The fact that these are now real things completely baffles me, and the fact that I have a chance to see them is even more shocking. I got through half of the journal, mostly skimming over the experiences Ford had and thoroughly going over the creatures he had documented.

A couple of hours had passed and I was so lost in my reading that I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard the door creek open. Slightly panicked, I tossed the journal under Mabel's bed and then turned to see who was entering. My expression eased a substantial amount when I realized it was only Dipper and not a certain old man. I pulled the recently discarded journal out from underneath the bed beside me and managed a small smile. "How did it go, find any proof that Norman is in fact not a normal man?"

Dipper only sighed and walked over to his own bed with the video camera by his side. He responded with a sigh, "No I didn't get anything." He looked down to the floor once he sat down. "It seems that Mabel's boyfriend isn't a zombie." I frowned slightly at his response but he quickly perked up and stated, "But I haven't given up hope, there is something definitely wrong with that guy, but for now let's just stick with the assumption that he is one."

Our eyes flew to the open door as we saw Mabel, in high spirits, skip into the room with a grand smile on her face. She walked right over to a full body mirror in the corner of the room, grabbed a brush and began to groom her hair. Dipper stood up and walked over to his sister, "Mabel, we've got to talk about Norman."

"Isn't he the best?" She replied dreamily. "Check out this giant smooch mark he gave me." Mabel turned her head and showed us a large red mark on her right cheek making me cringe and Dipper give a yelp. _That thing kinda does look like a zombie mark. _"Ha ha, Gullible! It was just an accident with the leaf blower." _When did she even have time to do that? _"That was fun," Mabel remonesiantly finished.

Dipper slapped a hand onto his forehead, "No Mabel listen! I'm trying to tell you that Norman is not what he seems!"

I revealed the journal to her, getting her attention, "Mabel, I know that you're super stoked about being able to have an 'epic summer romance' but you have to think about this more."

She gasped lightly, "Do you think he could be a vampire? That would be so awesome!" She pumped her hands forward and shook her fists wildly.

Dipper shook his head and I tossed the journal to him, surprisingly he caught it. "Guess again sister. Sha-bam!" He opened the book to reveal a gnome to Mabel, making her reel back in disgust. "Oh wait, I'm sorry." _Oh the irony_. "Sha-bam!" He flipped the pages to show his sister Ford's sketch of a zombie.

Mabel put her fists on her hips, "A zombie? That is not funny guys!"

I wanted to get in on this too, so I stood up, prompting them both to look at me. "We're not Joking! It all adds up: The bleeding, the limp…"

I let Dipper cut me off, "He never blinks! Have you noticed that?" Dipper was in full freak out mode now.

"Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking," Mabel said, trying to calm her brother down.

Dipper only grew more frantic at her response, "Mabel, the book says to trust no one in Gravity Falls!"

"What about me, huh? Why can't you trust _me? _Beep-bop!" _Where did those earrings come from? _She's trying to be reasonable, she really is, but Dipper won't back down.

He grabbed both of Mabel's shoulders, "Mabel! He's gonna eat your brain!"

Mabel took her brother's hands off of her shoulders, the anger in her face was growing, she has had enough of his speculation. "Dipper, listen to me. Norman and I are going on an actual date within the hour," She hit him in the chest. "And I'm gonna be _adorable, _and he's gonna be _dreamy. _And I'm not going to let you ruin it with one of your crazy conspiracies!" She had backed Dipper completely out of the room and was about to slam the door on him but she turned to face me, I didn't need any commands. I picked up the camera off of Dipper's bed and walked out the door, as soon as I was clear the door was slammed.

Dipper looked to the floor and I placed a hand on his shoulder, "No point in staying up here anymore." I let go of him and walked to the staircase. "C'mon let's go downstairs, I still want to see the footage, maybe you missed something." Once we reached the T.V. room, I gestured him to sit on the couch and handed him the camera. I hovered above him, waiting for the oh so shocking moment.

Dipper had recorded everything, I'm pretty sure that there was only one really long clip. He's still got a lot to learn. After we were about ten minutes into the footage, the doorbell rang. _This feels so unnatural, the plot is progressing too fast_. We heard Mabel shout that she was coming to the door. She was now wearing a very sparkly sweater with a large cat face on the front and when she opened the door, Mabel showed it off proudly.

Dipper and I both looked over to see Mabel now excitedly talking to her boyfriend. "Hey, Norman! How do I look?" The sparkles of her sweater nearly blinded me from the other side of the room.

Norman just shrugged, "Shiny."

"You always know what to say," Mabel said, taking his arm and leading him away from the shack.

Dipper rolled his eyes and groaned in frustration, "This is so stupid! Everything about that guy makes no sense! Him and Mabel have been on, like, five dates in the past few hours!" His arms were waving wildly as he was ranting. "That's unnatural!" He brought his arms back down to his sides and began watching the video again. After a few seconds he fast forwarded the clip, "Soos is right." He fast forwarded again. "I don't have any real evidence." Again, he fast forwarded. "I don't have any real evidence. I guess I can be kind of paranoid sometimes, and…" There it was, Norman's right hand fell clean off. "Wait! WHAT?!" I took the camera from him and rewound it.

"That's definitely not normal," I said, pressing play to watch the misleading evidence again.

Dipper jumped up off of the couch in such a rush of energy that he knocked the couch back, he didn't even realize it. Without looking away from the camera, I extended my left arm to steady the couch and set it back down. "I was right, oh my gosh!" He yelled.

He was about to run out of the room, to chase after them, but my voice made him stop. "Dipper, we need to be smart about this." He calmed down and nodded. "I'll go get the golf cart and you go warn Stan." Apparently he had not calmed down one bit. He exited the room very quickly, almost running into the wall, yelling his grunkle's name frantically.

Meet me out front!" I called after him. Swiftly, I made my way out of the shack through the gift shop remembering that Wendy should be returning from whatever she had been doing. To my relief, I was correct and I ran outside over to her. My rapid approach startled her a bit as she exited the golf cart. "Wendy!" I yelled, practically in her face.

"Dude, calm down, there's no need to yell. I'm literally right in front of you," She said with a slightly worried look.

I completely disregarded her concern, I have been advancing the show's events like crazy this past day. Mabel could be in some serious trouble with those gnomes right now. "I need to borrow the golf cart so that I can save Mabel from a zombie!"

Wendy crossed her arms and gave me a look of amusement, "Try not to hit any pedestrians." She tossed me the keys and walked away. I wasted no time. As soon as I was seated in the cart, I thrusted the keys into the ignition and started the engine. I shouldn't be taking risks like this. _These characters are people now, if they are in real danger, I'm stepping in from now on. _

Making my way around the shack to where Stan was giving a tour, I spotted Dipper in the group trying to get his great uncle's attention. "Dipper!" I yelled, making him turn towards me. "Let's go!" Stan had heard me as well and he locked his eyes with mine, he had to know that something is up. Dipper ran over to the cart and once he got in I was about to drive off, but I realized that Soos was right in front of us.

He stepped aside and pulled out a shovel, "This is for the zombies."

"Thanks," Dipper said, taking the weapon from him and setting it down by his feet.

Soos bent down and picked up a wooden bat and handed it to me, "And this is in case you see a pinata."

Dipper and I exchanged looks. "Thanks," I added reluctantly. Now with the large man clear and out of the way, I floored the gas pedal.

Once I pulled onto a path that led into the woods, Dipper turned and asked me, "Do you have any idea where they are?" Over the roar of the engine, I could barely hear him.

I didn't look at him, my eyes stayed on the windy dirt road ahead, "They didn't close the door when they left, I saw them go this way." The path started to straighten out, allowing me to look at Dipper. "We will find your sister, I promise." Suddenly we heard a high pitched cry for help, my eyes darted back to the road. "Speaking of which." I turned to the right where we heard Mabel's call. Good thing too, if I kept going straight we would have gone right off a cliff. I kept following the road down hill and into a small grotto, there we saw gnomes jumping all over and around Mabel.

I drove Dipper and I to a close distance for a quick escape and we both hopped out.

"What the _heck _is going on here?!" Dipper asked, gripped the shovel for protection. A gnome stopped and hissed at us, startling him. So I decided to do what any rational person would do in that situation... I kicked it into the tree line. The other gnome's attention was only on Mabel, so they were completely unaware of our approach.

Mabel was having trouble fending off the gnomes by herself, "Guys! Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes! And they're total jerks!" She began hitting them harder and one grabbed her brunette locks. "Uhh! Hair! Hair!"

That's it. I know that Dipper is about to try and reason with the red and blue little monsters, but that doesn't matter. Now seeing that they were trying to tie her down, I acted on impulse. I ran over to her, which I'm pretty sure hurt because of my bruises, but I can't tell because of the amount of adrenaline running through me. Jeff turned around and I picked him up, making him scream in terror. I threw him to where I kicked the other gnome, not my best idea. Actually scratch that, that was my _worst_ idea. The rest of Jeff's followers heard him scream over their heads, they looked at me with feral eyes. My face fell. "Oh boy."

The group of gnomes all charged at me, but Mabel was now free. "Mabel! Get to the golf cart! I'll be right behind you!" I yelled as I caught a gnome who jumped at my face. I knew that she didn't want to leave me by myself, but she made her way to her brother, unharmed. Me on the other hand, is a different story. After I caught the first gnome, I threw him at a couple of his comrades, which surprisingly took them out. Another gnome jumped at me, but since my arms were already outstretched, I acted fast and brought both fists down on top of his head, sending him into the ground with a loud thud.

The other gnomes halted their approach, they realized that they can't take me on alone. I looked back to the twins, Dipper was examining his sister for any serious injuries and Mabel was watching me in awe. I turned back to the threat before me and found that they were still regrouping, this was our chance to retreat to the cart. I slowly backpedaled away from the angered gnomes and the twins started to do the same once I got closer to them. "On three we bolt to the cart," I said to them quietly. They nodded in agreement, prompting me to start. "One…" The cart was a few yards away, but any sudden movements will get the gmones to charge again. "Two…" The gnomes started to notice our withdrawal. "Three!" All three of us turned and sprinted the final stretch to the cart, I could have said that more quietly but that wouldn't matter anyway, the gnomes were already charging.

The three of us successfully entered the golf cart and I took the wheel. _Screw seatbelts! There is going to be a mob of angry gnomes on us in a few seconds! _ I shifted gears into reverse just as some of the gnomes jumped at us. Gaining momentum, I maneuvered our way out of the grotto backwards and once we reached the dirt path I quickly spun the wheel making us do a one hundred eighty degree turn. I quickly switched gears. "Gun it!" Mabel yelled, she didn't need to tell me twice. Now that we were back on the path and gaining speed, I let out a breath I had no idea I was keeping in.

Dipper noticed that I wasn't slowing down, "Matt, I think we lost them, you can let up on the gas."

I shook my head, "Dipper while I was trying to find more about zombies earlier, I found out that gnomes are a lot more dangerous than they appear." The cart rumbled fiercely, and it wasn't because of some uneven terrain. The twins head slowly turned to look at the road behind and I continued speaking, eyes glued to the road ahead, "When the gnomes of the forest are assembled they can create-" A loud roar of terror cut me off. "...That."

"Dang," Mabel said with her mouth wide open. I didn't need to look back, I knew that a thirty foot creature of unimaginable horror was now hot on our heels. The twins by themselves in the show narrowly avoided being pounded to a pulp, but now with me in the cart and my extra weight, the cart can't reach its maximum speed. Some gnomes were thrown at our golf cart, I heard them land on top of the roof. If they keep landing up there, we'll be going slower and slower. I swerved and they fell off but now we had lost crucial speed. "Looks like my question is about to be answered," I said under my breath.

I let go of the steering wheel with my right hand and picked up the bat by my feet. Dipper sat next to me, his eyes glued to the gaining gnomes behind us. I was about to put my last worst idea to shame. "Dipper!" He's attention snapped to me and his eyes widened even more when he realized that I was holding the bat.

He looked at me like I was insane, "What are you-"

"I need you to take the wheel!" I cut him off, he grabbed the steering wheel and I started to climb over the seat to get in the back.

I was halfway over, Dipper's foot was slammed on the pedal now and he looked back at me and yelled, "What are you doing?!" Mabel swerved the cart over to the right to avoid crashing because her brother was focused on me.

His hazel eyes were filled with fear and I just smiled at him and said, "Something really stupid." And with that I pulled the rest of my body into the back of the speeding cart. "Well this is about the dumbest thing I've ever done. You want these kids?" I stood up straight and hoisted the baseball bat as Jeff unleashed another barrage of gnomes upon us, "Then you're going to have to get through me you giant conehead!" I swung at my attackers, knocking out some of their teeth in the process. However I wasn't able to stop all of them, one got past and landed on the hood of the cart. I heard the gnome screech as it jumped at Dipper, flailing and scratching in random directions. Luckily, Mabel was there to punch the now latched gnome off of Dipper's face. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the gnome with Dipper's hat fly into the woods.

Even after the attack, Dipper had been doing an exceptionally good job at keeping the cart steady for me to knock the airborne gnomes out of the way. Of course when my confidence was growing, it gets shut down. Jeff stopped and lifted a nearby pine tree clean out of the ground and chucked it like a javelin right at us. My eyes widened as I watched the tree sail, rather majestically, above us and then crash on the path ahead.

I threw the bat at the giant gnome monster in a last ditch effort to slow it down, it just bounced right off with no effect. I turned, grabbed the cart as hard as I could with both hands and braced for Dipper's next move. As I predicted, he swerved out of the way and lost all control. The shack was just ahead, we were so close. The cart started to tip over while we were still in motion and, despite my tight grip, I was flung off like a bull rider. Once my body made impact with the ground, I involuntarily slid on my face and to a halt. _Great, just when I was starting to feel better. _

I raised my gaze to see the cart on its side with Dipper and Mabel slowly crawling away from it, at least they wore seatbelts. When they both got to their feet they ran over to help me stand, even though the gnome monster was coming closer. Dipper spotted the shovel that Soos had given him earlier, and once I was able to stand, he picked it up and aimed it at the gnomes.

"Stay back, man!" Dipper yelled as he threw the lawn tool at the advancing enemy. The giant monster just punched it into the ground with a loud roar, making Dipper and Mabel scream.

I stepped out in front of them and spread out my arms slightly to shield them.

Jeff laughed at my defensive position, "Look at you, bravely protecting these two children. To bad you actually can't do anything, you're only a dumb human!"

I squinted my eyes at the insult, Mabel was now holding onto my arm and Dipper was furiously searching through the journal for a solution to our predicament. "At least I don't take squirrel baths to clean myself," I sneered, making the gnomes gasp.

"W-What no I don't! Who told you about that?!" Jeff yelled, super flustered. "You know what, that doesn't even matter! Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!"

Dipper flipped faster and faster through the journal's pages, searching for something that we can do, "There's got to be a way out of this."

Mbael stepped forward from behind me and said with a serious tone, "I gotta do it."

Dipper's eyes flew to his sister and quickly pocketed the journal. "What!? Mabel, don't do this! Are you crazy?" He was now right beside his sister, his voice frantic.

"Trust me," was all that she said in response.

Dipper looked at Mabel incredulously, "What?!"

"Dipper," Mabel said in a whisper. "Just this once..._Trust _me." Seeing that his sister was being sincere, he backed away and stood behind me again. Mabel, once again, stepped forward, "All right Jeff, I'll marry you."

Jeff made the entire monster jump for joy. "Hot dog!" He started to climb down from the top of his colony, "Help me down there, Jason. Thanks. Andy, left foot, there we go, watch those fingers, Mike." The head gnome exited through the monster's foot and brought out a box containing quite a beautiful ring. He approached Mabel pointing to the ring's jewel excitedly, "Ehh? Ehh?" Mabel knelt down and let Jeff place the ring on her finger. "Bada-bing, bada-bam!" Jeff said while doing a little victory dance. "Now let's get you back into the forest, honey"

He was about to lead the way, but Mabel's voice made him stop in his tracks, "You may now kiss the bride." Dipper displayed a look of horror on his face and was about to intervene but I held him back.

Jeff turned around and awkwardly said, "Well, uh, don't mind if I do." He closed his eyes, puckered his lips and Mabel reached into the leaves beside her.

I looked over my shoulder to Dipper, "Looks like her 'kissing practice' is about to pay off." Clarity dawned over Dipper's face and I turned back to face the two.

Mabel flicked on the leaf blower, and to everybody's surprise, except mine, started to suck Jeff into it. "Whoa! Whoa!" He said frightened. "W-What's going on?"

Despite his best effort, the little gnome could not escape the pull of the leaf blower. "That's for lying to me!" Mabel yelled as Jeff got stuck in the machine. She then turned the leaf blower to full reverse power, squishing Jeff even more, yelling "That's for breaking my heart!"

"Ow! My face!" He yelled.

Mabel casually walked over to Dipper and I. She held the leaf blower up to me and I gladly took it while she aimed it towards the rest of the gnomes. "And this for messing with my brother!" She turned her head and looked at Dipper. "Wanna do the honors?"

Dipper placed his hand on the power dial and said, "On three."

"One, two, three!" we all said in unison and Dipper switched the power to forward, sending Jeff flying out of the machine like a cannonball right through the monster's chest. I held them both steady to ensure that we didn't fall back.

Jeff, extremely infuriated, yelled, "I'll get you back for this!" As he soared through the air back into the enchanted part of the forest. The gnomes now scattered and helpless without their leader, looked around very confused. Mabel then took the leaf blower from my grasp and started pushing the rest of the gnomes away.

"Anyone else want some?" I said with a cocky smirk and crossed arms. They all bolted like little chipmunks back into the forest, except for one who got stuck in some plastic rings and was about to become Gompers' chew toy. The poor little gnome screamed as the goat carried him away in its mouth.

All three of us were a mess. Leaves were bunched up in our hair, we had dirt all over us and multiple tears in our clothes. Dipper, wanting to go inside and wash up, made his way to the gift shop entrance but was stopped by his sister. "Hey, Dipper. I, um, I'm sorry for ignoring your advice. You really were just looking out for me."

Dipper waved a hand through the air, "Oh, don't be like that. You saved our butts back there." I smiled at the sincerity of the twins' words.

Mabel plucked a leaf out of her hair and threw it away, "I guess I'm just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes."

"Look on the bright side," Dipper started. "Maybe the next one _will_ be a vampire."

Mabel gave a genuine laugh at her brother's response and gave him a light punch to the arm, "You're just saying that."

Dipper outstretched his arms. "Awkward sibling hug?" He asked with a small voice crack almost making me laugh and ruin the sweet moment.

"Awkward sibling hug," Mabel repeated and they both received each other with open arms.

"Pat pat," They said in a monotone unison.

I was about to walk past the two of them and into the shack but Mabel stopped me, "Matt, you're not going anywhere!" With surprising strength, Mabel pulled me into the heartfelt exchange making Dipper laugh. I had no choice but to hug back with a big smile.

When we entered the shack, we saw that Stan was now manning the register. Once the door was closed, we just stared at him other until he spoke up, "Sheesh! You guys get hit by a bus or somethin'?" Stan slammed his hand down on the desk, "Aha!" The twins wore very unamused faces and I crossed my arms. _Sure feels like I did! _Dipper and Mabel began to walk away from their great uncle. I softly cleared my throat so that only Stan would hear and gestured to his niece and nephew. "Uh, hey!" He said, grabbing their attention again. He rubbed the back of his head, "W-Wouldn't you know it? Um, I accidentally overstacked some inventory, so, uh, how's about each of you take one item from the gift shop on the house."

Mabel turned and clasped her hands together, "Really?"

Dipper wasn't convinced, "What's the catch?"

Stan, now avoiding eye contact, responded, "The catch is do it before I change my mind. Now take something." He hit the register next to him and started filing cash into it. The twins started browsing and I smiled at Stan's hidden affection. "That means all of you." Stan said, now looking at me. "Looks like ya did good today kid, all things considered."

My smile grew, "Wow, thanks Stan."

"Yup, anything for my grand nephew," Stan said with a serious face and a wink. _Wait what. _

Mabel turned to Stan and I with wide eyes, "We're related?"

Stan put a hand on my shoulder, "Yeah, we didn't want to tell you guys earlier. It would have made things a little awkward if I told you when you first got here. Matt here will be staying with us as well, hope ya don't mind."

The twins were looking at me with big smiles, "Looks like we're going to be roommates. Heh, yay." I eyed Stan and he gave me a smirk. It wasn't a bad plan, telling them that I was another great nephew, but I feel like they might find out that I'm not at all related to them eventually. "I hope this doesn't change anything between us."

Dipper scoffed, "Dude, are you serious? Of course it won't, especially after today!" Both twins came over to hug me again and I looked at Stan and mouthed, 'Thank you.' He gave me a thumbs up and went back to work.

After a few seconds they pulled away and I asked, "Did you see anything you like?" Mabel quickly ran off to scour the shelves again and Dipper calmly walked over to the blue and white pine tree hats on a nearby shelf. He picked it up and placed it on top of his head. Dipper looked in the mirror next to him, "That oughta to do the trick!" I glanced over to Mabel who was peering into a box in the corner.

She reached in, "And I will have a…" She extravagantly held the item in the air. "Grappling hook! Yes!"

Stan and Dipper exchanged looks while I just smiled and shook my head. "Wouldn't you rather have a doll or something?" Stan asked.

Mabel displayed a serious face and shot her new obsession into the ceiling yelling, "Grappling hook!"

"Fair enough!" Stan said in response.

Now it was my turn to search for something, I didn't want anything stupid, like one of those bobble heads. I want something cool. My interest peaked when my eyes laid upon a rock with a strange pattern on it. I know I said I wanted something cool, but this thing was calling to me, I can't describe it. I picked the stone up and put it in my pocket.

A little while later Dipper, Mabel and I were in the attic bedroom, clean and in a fresh set of clothes. I was wearing clean gym clothes that I was taking home from school, a red t-shirt and black shorts. Dipper was wearing the same thing that he had on today minus the vest. He had multiple copies of the same outfit that he brought with him to Gravity Falls, probably thinks that he's like Einstein or something. Mabel had a sweater with a floppy disc proudly displayed on the front of it.

I was laying on my "bed" with my arms behind my head looking up at the ceiling. It was too early to go to sleep, so the three of us were trying to think of something to do. My eyes lit up with an idea, not an original idea, but an idea nonetheless. "What if you write in the journal about things that we encounter, Dipper. I think that would be pretty cool." Since Dipper had pretty much no alone time so far with the book he was happy to do it.

"How should I start it?" He asked, grabbing a pen and the journal off of the night stand above me. The next few hours were filled with conversation on what to include in the journal and Dipper had changed his introduction several times, he had changed the story of how we found the journal several times, and he changed his description of himself several times! He wasn't being very honest with what he was writing at first, but Mabel and I pointed him in the right direction. He wrote about his birthmark and I was quite surprised when he willingly decided to tell me about it. He gave a description of Mabel and then me, which was actually more emotional than I thought it would be. I'm officially becoming a part of this town's history. Next he went into detail about the whole adventure that we had today and even drew a picture of me kicking the gnome into the forest, which was very amusing.

"'This journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust. But when you battle a hundred gnomes side by side with your sister and someone you just met, you realize that they've probably always got your back.'" Dipper had been reading aloud what he had been including in his writing to the both of us. I nodded indicating my approval.

"Preach it, Dipping-Sauce!" Mabel yelled with excitement making me and Dipper laugh.

"'Grunkle Stan told us there was nothing strange about this town, but who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked?'"

I nodded again, "Solid, Dipper. Solid."

Dipper smiled, closed and set aside the journal, "I say that's a good place to leave it for now." He turned to his sister, "Hey Mabel can you get the light?"

She pulled out her grappling gun and cocked it, "I'm on it." She took aim and fired it at the electric lantern illuminating the room and pulled the trigger. While it did take out the light, it made a hole in the window behind it making the three of us laugh. _I wonder how many times that glass will break this summer. _

I closed my eyes and gave a happy sigh, "Good night you knuckleheads." Sure these kids might be from a show, but now, they're living, breathing human beings that _I _am responsible for.

**A/N**

**That was a long chapter! Thanks for sitting through it, it means a lot to me. I'm pretty sure that the other chapters I write won't be as long as this one, because this chapter was mostly used for relationship building and I know that some of the lines and settings don't match up with the show, but I decided to take my creative liberty and make the twins find the journal and begin their journey on the first day in Gravity Falls so that my story can get right into the actual story. I don't actually know where the Mall is on the map so it was made next to the cemetery for convenience. Thanks again for reading!**


	3. Legend of the Gobblewonker

**Remember when I said that chapters in the future wouldn't be as long as 'Tourist Trapped?' **

**I lied**

It has now been a couple of days since the whole gnome incident and things have been relatively calm. My wounds and bruises were healing well, Dipper and I bonded some more, Stan got us put in jail for a little bit and Mabel learned how to use telekinesis. So you know, just another day in good old Gravity Falls. Mabel was trying to do the iconic "Crush a spoon with your mind" thing and it worked, kind of. Instead of crushing the spoon, I could only watch as the couch that Stan was occupying got lifted up off the ground while he was asleep. But yeah, besides that and the counterfeit cash thing, the past couple of days have been normal. Of course that wouldn't be the case for long.

This morning, I walked into the kitchen and smiled at the sight before me. Dipper and Mabel were both holding bottles with dripping syrup coming from them. "Go! Go! Go!" Dipper chanted with an outstretched tongue.

Mabel was in the same position, "Almost… Almost…" She then hit the butt of the bottle forcefully causing the drop to fall quicker than her brother's "Yes!" She exclaimed in victory and began coughing uncontrollably. "I won!" She said in a strained voice and began coughing again.

Dipper held an unamused look and then noticed that I was now present and gave a smile. "Hey, Matt. Sorry we didn't wake you up."

I waved a hand at him dismissively, "Ah, don't worry about it, I'm not that hungry anyway." Today, I was proudly wearing my new question mark t-shirt, it fit perfectly. Dipper began reading a magazine and grabbed my attention.

"Ho ho, no way! Hey guys check this out," Dipper said flipping the article so we could see.

Mabel squinted her eyes, "Human-sized hamster ball?" She then gasped "_I'm _human-sized!"

"Oh yeah," I said while pulling out a chair. "You would definitely fit in that thing."

Dipper shook his head, "No, no, Mabel. This." He pointed to one of the opened pages with an outstretched finger that said 'Monster Photo contest' and it showed a very obvious fake hairy gremlin. "We see weirder stuff than that every day," He concluded. However, one thing was off. Instead of one thousand dollars as the grand prize, it was five thousand. _Huh that's weird. _

"We didn't get any pictures of those gnomes, did we?" Dipper asked, looking back and forth between us.

I crossed my arms, "Nope, just memories."

"And this beard hair," Mabel said nonchalantly, taking a clump of white hair out of nowhere. She stretched her arm across the table and into her brother's face with an innocent smile.

"Why did you-" Dipper started, but as soon as I fully realized what was in Mabel's hand I reached out and took it from her.

"I'm taking this from you for your own good," I said with a stern expression and Mabel gave an 'aww' in reply which actually made me feel a little bad, but it's for the best she doesn't hang onto it. She might somehow poison Grunkle Stan with it or something, who knows! Speaking of which…

"Uhh! Good Morning, knuckleheads," Stan said walking in with a rolled up newspaper and with a surprising smile on his face. "You three know what day it is?" He asked with a hopeful tone.

The twins looked at one another. "Um… Happy anniversary?" Dipper asked.

"Mazel tov!" Mabel responded cheerily.

Stan brought down his rolled up newspaper over Dipper's head, but I intercepted it with one hand and shook my head without even looking at him. "Baah! You're no fun," Stan said, slightly annoyed and I just shrugged in response while Dipper gave me a grateful look. "It's family fun day!" Stan turned and opened the fridge behind him. 'We're cuttin' off work and having one of those ya know," He paused to sniff some expired milk. "Bonding type-deals."

"Um Stan, is this going to be remotely close to a family day, or is it going to be like our last," I gave him air quotes. "'Bonding' day?"

Mabel shivered, "The county jail was so cold."

I crossed my arms again with a mocking tone, "Yeah not my definition of 'fun' oh sweet grunkle of mine."

"All right, maybe I haven't been the best summer caretaker," Stan said with the smallest hint of sincerity in his voice.

"You can say that again," I said under my breath, earning a snicker from Mabel.

Stan walked over to us and put his hands on our shoulders. Why did I let the profesional con man do that? I don't rightfully know. "I swear," Stan started. "Today we're gonna have some _real _family fun. Now, who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?"

The twins both raised their arms in the air and yelled, "Yay!"

I just facepalmed, "Seriously?" The twins didn't say anything like I had expected them to, they quickly stood up and ran out of the room with excitement. I followed them reluctantly, but only after I tossed the gnome hair in the garbage. _Cue the theme song I guess. _

We were now all seated in the car speeding down one of the backroads of Gravity Falls, actually speeding is an understatement. _Flying_ better fits our situation. I watched in the rearview mirror as Dipper and Mabel bounced violently in the backseat and were, to my dismay, wearing blindfolds.

Stan reached down to tune his radio, making the car swerve. "Blindfolds never lead to anything good," Dipper said with a sigh. I slapped Stan's hand away from the radio and he rolled his eyes at me.

"Wow I feel like all my other senses are heightened." I glanced back in the mirror to see Mabel blindly examining her hands, and I couldn't help but smirk at this. While her brother was super tense and desperately holding his legs to his body, Mabel was joking around without a care in the world. With outstretched hands, she turned to Dipper and began rubbing them on his face."I can see with my fingers," She whispered, making her brother loosen up and laugh. I would have laughed too, if the car hadn't gone airborne again.

I threw my hands in the air and looked at Stan who was casually looking out the window, "For goodness sake Stan, keep your eyes on the road!"

Dipper was tense again. "Grunkle Stan, are _you _wearing a blindfold?" He whimpered.

Stan turned, took his right hand of the wheel and rested on the back of his seat to look at his nephew. "Ha! Ha! Nah, but with these cataracts, I might as well be," He said completely carefree. I sighed in relief as his eyes drifted back to the road… only to be distracted by something in the sky. "What is that, a woodpecker?" I braced myself in the passenger seat as we broke through a wooden guardrail, making the kids scream.

After our little mistrip into the woods on the side of the road, we arrived at Gravity Falls Lake with little interruption. This is because I did not take my hands off the steering wheel while the car was in motion to ensure our safety. Once we were safely parked, I helped guide the kids out of the car while Stan changed into his fishing gear that he took out of the trunk.

"Okay, okay, open 'em up," Stan said once he was situated. I stood behind the Pines twins as they took off their blindfolds. They squinted at the bright sunlight that had been denied to them for so long. Stan had one foot propped up on his tackle box while both of his arms were spread out wide like an eagle. "Ta-da! It's fishin' season!" He exclaimed, making me remember that he was really looking forward to this. I couldn't blame him, I enjoy fishing too.

"Fishing?" Mabel asked curiously.

"What are you playing at, old-man?" Dipper said with a pointed finger.

"You're gonna love it!" Stan said, turning around to face the lake behind him. "The whole town's out here!" It was true, I saw a bunch of recognizable Gravity Falls residents enjoying themselves. I couldn't help raising my arm above my head to punch the sky as the Corduroy boys excitedly cheered and chanted for their dad. Luckily no one noticed.

Stan placed his hands on his hips, "That's some quality family bonding!"

"Grunkle Stan," Dipper started as he crossed his arms. "Why do you want to bond with us all of a sudden?"

Stan turned back to face us and started to walk over. "Come on, this is gonna be great! I've never had fishin' buddies before. The guys from the lodge wont go with me. They don't _like _or _trust _me," He said with very extravagant finger quotes.

Mabel then looked at me and Dipper. "I think he actually wants to fish with us," She said, in a surprised tone.

"Hey, I know what'll cheer you sad sacks up," Stan said reaching behind his back. "Pow!" He placed fishermen hats very similar to his own on Dipper and Mabel's heads. Stan then cleared his throat. "Whoops sorry Matt," He apologized reaching into his fishing vest to pull out a hat for me. "Only got two hands ya know," He said as he threw me the hat.

The three of us examined our new gifts. "Pine's family fishing hats," Stan exclaimed proudly. Dipper and Mabel looked at theirs with a good deal of disinterest while I could not help but smile at mine. Stan had somehow managed to flip the first 't' in 'Matt' upside down, which, in my opinion, makes it even better. "That's hand stitching, ya know," Stan added with a bit of reluctance. "It's just gonna be you, me, and those goofy hats on a boat for ten hours!"

"Ten hours!" Dipper yelled with bulging eyes.

"I brought the joke book," Stan said tauntingly, pulling the book out of his pocket.

"No. No!" Dipper exclaimed in horror.

"Yeah, Stan," I said, grabbing his attention. "While I would love to go fishing with you, I think ten hours is a bit extreme. I only have so much sunscreen after all." I rubbed my left arm to prove my point.

"Grunkle Stan, is there something else that we can do?" Mabel asked sincerely.

"I SEEN IT! I SEEN IT AGAIN!," A loud voice yelled from a dock nearby.

"Oh boy," I said under my breath with an eye roll. While I did say a few days ago that I was stoked to go on all the adventures that the Pines go on, I was kinda hoping that this one wouldn't happen. Despite all of the old-man antics, Stan has been pretty fun to be around and I didn't want to ditch him for the fake Gobblewonker. I saw how upset he got when the kids ditched him, I don't want to see it in person.

McGucket ran off of the dock and started throwing fishing poles and flipping tables, even knocking a sandwich out of a poor guy's hand. "The Gravity Falls Gobblewonker! Come quick before it scramdoodles away!" Then he did the most frantic jig I've ever seen.

During all the comotion Dipper, Mabel, Stan and I made our way over to see what all the ruckus was about.

"Aw," Mabel started with an outstretched hand, "He's doing a happy jig."

"No!" McGucket yelled, grabbing Mabel's shoulder. I quickly noticed how uncomfortable the old prospector made her. I stepped between the two with an outstretched arm for the twins to hide behind, which they accepted gratefully. I squinted at the old man making him back off, but he continued to yell. "It's a jig of grave danger!"

"Hey! Hey!" A voice from behind us yelled. A man was exiting the fishing lodge with a spray bottle making McGucket scream and cover his face. Even though he clearly submitted, the man sprayed McGucket with the bottle making me frown. "Now what did I tell you about scaring my customers?" The man yelled, "This is your last warning dad!"

"But I've got proof this time, by gummity!" McGucket yelled, making his son stop squirting him. He quickly led the surrounding crowd of people on the dock pointing at a destroyed boat. "Behold!" McGucket exclaimed. "It's the gobblywonker that what done did it! It had a long neck like a gee-raffe. And wrinkly skin like- like this gentleman right here." Everyone's attention went to Stan who was picking his ear.

"Huh?" He asked, turning to face him while wiping the now cleared ear wax on his pants.

"It chopped my boat up to smitheroons!" McGucket proclaimed with hands raised in the air. "It shim-shammed over to Scuttlebutt island!" Now the old man was pointing to the eerie looking island shrouded by fog out in the distance. "Ya gotta believe me!" He shrieked frantically.

At this point all the comotion had attracted the attention of the police, who had now arrived in their own boat with its lights flashing. Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland looked at McGucket with a bored expression. "Attention all units," Blubs started as Durland shook his head. "We got ourselves a crazy old man." Everyone on the dock except us Pines, _ahem_, sorry, the Pines and _I_, just stood there awkwardly.

"Aw donkey spittle! Banjo Polish…" He said as he walked away with his head hung low. Despite all the trouble he had caused, I found myself feeling bad for McGucket. It wasn't his fault that he was like this and it wasn't his fault that he wanted attention. I shook my head, not at the old prospector, but at the rude people still laughing at the old man.

"Well that happened," Stan said matter of factly, "Now let's untie this boat and get out on that lake." Stan beant down and started to untie the boat from the dock as Mabel and Dipper dived into their own conversation.

"Hey Stan," I asked as he climbed into the Stan o' War. "I can tell that this fishing trip really means a lot to you, but is there any chance that we could do something else that doesn't involve us sitting in a rickety old boat for ten hours?" Stan's face fell at my request. "Don't get me wrong," I said frantically trying to fix the situation. "I would like to go fishing with you and all, but I think we should do it another day." I could tell that Stan was seeing where I was coming from and just when he was about to respond Dipper leaned down and put an arm around his grunkle's shoulder.

"Grunkle Stan!" Dipper said in an over friendly manner. "Change of plans. We're taking that boat to Scuttlebut Island and we're gonna find that Gobblewonker." He stood back up and chanted with his sister. "Monster hunt! Monster hunt! Monster-" They stopped the chanting to eye McGucket who made his way back over to the dock and began chanting as well.

"I'll go," He said sadly once he realized that no one was chanting anymore. Then a loud boat horn went off making me and Stan jump. I was startled because it came with no warning, Stan must've been scared because he thought the cops were coming back for him.

The person at the helm of the new boat was revealed to be Soos. "You dudes say somethin' about a monster hunt?" He asked, making Dipper and Mabel smile. As much as I love Soos, and trust me I do, I was a little upset that he showed up. Now the twins were one-hundred percent going to ditch Stan.

"Soos!" Mabel said happily.

"What's up, hambone," Soos asked, giving Mabel a fist bump. "Dude, you could totally use my boat for your hunt. It's got a steering wheel, chairs- normal boat stuff."

I looked over at Stan's boat and cracked a smile. It had neither of those 'Normal Boat Things' and Stan knew that too.

"All right, let's think this through," Stan said, climbing out of his boat and onto the dock. I really wanted to go on this monster hunt with the twins and Soos, but I couldn't bring myself to ditch Stan. He'll end up talking to his reflection or something, probably treating it like his brother. _I can't just leave him! _Within that split second I had an idea. _Maybe I won't have to. _"You kids _could _go waste time on some epic monster-finding adventure, _or _you could spend the day learning how to tie knots and skewer worms with your Great Uncle Stan!" Stan finished.

"_Or..._Our Great Uncle Stan could come with us," I said while crossing my arms.

"Pardon me." Stan asked.

"You heard me," I said squinting at him with a smile. "Why don't you just come with us. You did say yourself that you wanted to have 'some real family fun' earlier. _Or _are you too chicken to join us?" I added. "Afraid that some big monster is going to get you?"

I turned to look at my friends, Soos looked shocked by the way I was talking to his boss and Dipper and Mabel could hardly contain their laughter.

"So that's how it's gonna be kid?" Stan asked and I nodded in response.

I started to walk over to the boat but I held my eye contact with Stan and said, "You said that you wanted to go fishing, so let's go catch the biggest fish there is." I helped Dipper and Mabel climb into the boat and then I stepped in myself. "I bet the boys at the lodge would kill to fish with the guy that caught the Gobblewonker." That took the cake. Within seconds Stan tied up his own boat, and he smiled as I put on the fishing hat that he gave to me once he joined us.

"Let's go catch us a Gobblewonker!" Stan declared cheerfully. And with that, we set sail out into the lake.

_He's going to be mad once we don't actually catch the thing, but I'll deal with that thought later. _

Dipper made his way to the bow of the ship and set his foot on the railing and looked back at us. "Hoist the anchor!" He called to us, which Soos was already doing, that's how we started moving anyway. "Raise the flag!" Mabel complied and held a towel flowing in the wind. This wasn't much of a flag, so I set her on my shoulders and she cheered and held the towel higher.

"We're gonna find that Gobblewonker!" Mabel exclaimed.

"We're gonna win that photo contest!" Dipper yelled.

"Do any of you dudes have sunscreen?" Soos asked and Stan's face fell as he forgot to give the twins some.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the requested item with Mabel still on my shoulders. "I got some right here, dude," I said tossing it to Soos.

"Yay!" The twins and Soos cheered while Stan nodded in approval.

A few minutes later, everyone had a sufficient amount of sunscreen applied and we were stopped just before the heavy mist around the island. The five of us gathered in the back of the boat as Dipper began to speak. "If we're gonna win that photo contest we've gotta do it right," Dipper stated.

"Why do I keep hearing about this contest?" Stan asked. "Unless the prize is money, I'm not interested." Stan crossed his arms.

"The grand prize is five thousand dollars, but I guess we can split it four was if you're not interested, Grunkle Stan," Dipper said with a smug look.

Stan's eyes lit up. "Were you not listening kid?" Stan asked with excitement. "I'm one hundred precent on board with this now that money is involved!"

Dipper rolled his eyes at his great uncle. "As I said, we need to do it right," Dipper started. "Think. What's the number one problem with most monster hunts?"

"If you're a side character you die within the first five minutes of the movie," Soos answered. "Dude, am I a side character?" He asked frantically. "Do you ever think about stuff like that?"

I placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Soos, you're too great to be a side character," I stated, calming his nerves.

"No, no, no. Camera trouble," Dipper said while waving his hands. "Say bigfoot shows up. Soos, be bigfoot." The large man child proceeded to do an impeccable impression of the creature. "There he is! Bigfoot!" Dipper exclaimed in a monotone voice and proceeded to pat himself down. "Uh-oh! No camera! Oh wait! Here's one! Ah, no film. Ya see? Ya see what I'm doing here?" We all nodded. 'That's why I brought twenty-five disposable cameras!"

I couldn't help but scoff at this. I was about to speak up and say that we could just use my phone, which was conveniently sitting in my pocket. Although it was an easy solution to Dipper's problem, I didn't voice it. I looked over to Stan, who seemed to be amused by his grand nephew's paranoia. Stan hasn't seen me use my phone at all yet, which, now that I think about it, is a _very_ good thing. If he found out I had a phone, he would realize that I had a way to get home this entire time. Or at least that's how it would be in his eyes. In reality, it wouldn't be that simple since, ya know, I'm from another reality. The phone that rested in my pocket suddenly felt like it had a lot more weight to it, one screw up with it and I'd be done.

I was shaken from my thoughts when Dipper handed me a bag with four of the disposable cameras in it. I took it and realized that Dipper was upset, probably because when I was thinking about the phone situation, the whole crisis with the cameras began.

"What about co-captain," I heard Mabel ask.

"There's no such thing as co-captain," Dipper stated matter of factly.

"Uh, whoops," Mabel said as she tossed a camera into the water.

"Okay, fine!" Dipper yelled with a voice crack making Stan laugh, "You can be co-captain!"

"What about me?" I asked.

Mabel walked over to me. "As co-captain, I require you as my lookout post."

I stared at her for a second. "Fair enough."

"Yes!" She exclaimed as I hoisted her up on my shoulders once more.

We made our way into the fog that surrounded the island. Stan was 'chumming' the water with the fish food that Soos had for some reason, while the big man himself steered us clear of rocks and other debris. As for me, I stood at the bow of the boat holding Mabel steady while she surveyed the area around us while making radar tower noises. This was quite entertaining at first, but after a while it got annoying. Suddenly she started beeping really really fast, and through the fog I could see land. "We're here!" Mabel said cheerfully as Soos slowed us down.

"Oh, thank god," Stan said while setting aside the fish food. "She stopped." I set Mabel down and we hopped off of the boat and onto the beach of Scuttlebutt Island.

"Hamster ball, here we come!" Mabel exclaimed. Dipper held out a lantern and led the rest of us deeper inland. Stan was lacking towards the back of the group with a look on his face that concerned me. I fell behind to talk to him.

"Is there something wrong Stan?" I asked, now walking right next to him. "You're being uncharacteristically quiet." _That was a great choice of words. _

Stan waved me off, "Yeah, I'm fine, kid." I shrugged and began to pick up the pace to catch up with the others but then Stan grabbed my arm, realizing that he could voice his concerns without being heard by the rest of the group. "It's just that I can't believe you dragged me into this. Now when we find out that the old prospector was telling the truth and that there really is a monster in this lake, I can't hide the supernatural from them anymore."

I didn't respond for a second, realizing that I didn't think that part through. _There goes that plot point. _"Well to be fair Stan, me and the kids fought an army of gnomes on their first day here. They've _known _that this stuff exists." Stan just looked at me as I continued. "I think that it would be better for their great uncle to be open with them instead of denying that the supernatural exists. That way, one of them doesn't do something stupid trying to prove that it is real."

Stan looked forward at his niece and nephew and processed what I said to him. "Yeah, I guess you're right." We walked up to Soos and Mabel while Soos covered up part of a sign.

"Butt Island," Soos said while trying not to laugh.

"Soos, you rapscallion!" Mabel said overdramatically.

Realizing that we didn't miss anything important, Stan pulled me aside once more. "Should I tell them now and get it over with?" He asked me in a nervous tone.

I shook my head. "I don't think now is the best time, but when the opportunity presents itself to be open, don't pass it up." Then, an ominous roar made its presence known to us. This made the twins halt whatever shenanigans they were up to and gaze around at the surrounding mist with fearful eyes. Stan looked concerned as well as we walked over to join them.

"Dude, did you guys hear that?" Soos asked.

"Kinda sounded like a chainsaw," I answered.

"Was it your stomach?" Mabel asked Soos.

Soos shook his head. "No, my stomach usually sounds like whale noises," He replied, letting Mabel press her ear to his belly. I looked at them with amusement, but the rustling of some nearby bushes grabbed my attention. A possum suddenly bolted out of the bush straight for the lantern that was lying by Dipper's foot.

"Dipper!" I yelled, making him quickly look at me. "The lantern!" Now believe me, I understand that we are supposed to lose that lantern, but knowing how hard it will be to see without it, I'm not willing to let it go.

Dipper tried to make a grab for it before the small mammal got a hold of it, but he was too late. "Our lantern!" Dipper gasped as the little critter made a run for it, holding the item desperately in its mouth. "Gah! I can't see anything," Dipper said, raising a hand to his head to hopefully improve his sight. _Like that's gonna do anything._ The fog and mist quickly swallowed our group making it impossible to see clearly. This misfortune, substantially added to the already creepy vibe that was kicking hard.

"Dude, I don't know, man," Soos said nervously. "Maybe this isn't worth it." Stan nodded in agreement, even with money in the line, he didn't want to admit to the supernatural.

"I shudda, stayed on the 'Stan o War,'" Stan said with a sigh and a quick look around at his surroundings. _Maybe bringing him along was a bad idea after all. _

"How could it not be worth it Soos?!" Dipper asked. "Five-thousand dollars is on the line, man!" Dipper shared a quick look at his sister and she threw her arms up in the air.

"I'm in!" She yelled with excitement.

"Me too!" Dipper replied. The twins then proceeded to recklessly run further down the faint path that we were following.

Soos stood there for a moment before quickly following them into the fog. "Alright, dudes, I'm comin!" I gestured Stan to come along, which he did so reluctantly. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that Stan really should not have gone on this adventure. There was a reason that he stayed behind in the show, and I completely ignored it. _Maybe he's nervous because his brother studied stuff like this. That is the reason why he got sucked up into the portal anyway. _Stan was only here because I called him out and appealed to the insecurity that he had about having no fishing buddies. _I guess the real lake monster really is me, _I thought, remembering that's what Soos said to the twins after they realized that they had ditched their grunkle for nothing during this episode. I know that it wasn't directed towards me or even spoken yet, but... it still fit.

Stan and I had to pick up the pace in order to reach Soos and the twins. Once we caught up we saw Soos beatboxing to Mabel's absolute _fire_ rap that she was spitting out. _Gotta give her props for coming up with that on the spot. _Dipper was ahead of both of them with a camera ignoring them and surveying the surrounding area. "Guys! Guys, guys," Dipper whisper yelled. This made Soos and Mabel, along with Stan and I, stop and listen. "You hear that?' Dipper asked as the echo of another growl rolled through the forest. In response to the roar, a large group of birds frantically flew away from a nearby tree.

"This is it!" Dipper gasped. "This is it!" Mabel stepped forward and started to lightly punch her brother's arm. Soon Dipper did the same and they both started making sounds of excitement. I looked to Soos who bent down to pick up a sharp, thick stick and then to Stan who pulled a single brass knuckle from his vest pocket. Realizing how under prepared I was, I lifted a large rock off the ground and held it to my chest. Soos then fixed his cap and the three of us followed. The fog grew denser and more thick as we reached the opposite end of the island, and through the mist was the unmistakable figure of the Gobblewonker. Of course it wasn't really the real one, but it was still bone chilling to look at. I could have sworn that the tail moved but it must have been the wind.

The five of us took cover behind a fallen log and we soon peeked over to get a better view. Once the figure was in our sight again, I realized that it was much larger than the one in the show and I squinted in curiosity and the fog slightly cleared up. I was able to make out more of the figure and my heart dropped. The creature had green skin and scales all across its large body, with two frills dominating the monster's back and neck. Scars covered the monster's face and one of its tusk-like teeth was broken, making it less sharp but still menacing. I could feel my breathing accelerate, this wasn't the wooden boat the figure was revealed to be in the show. This was the Gobblewonker, the _real _Gobblewonker.

"Everyone… get your cameras ready," Dipper commanded as he readied his own. Soos dropped his spiked stick and took out one of his cameras, Mabel did the same. Stan and I just sat there with wide eyes. "Ready? Go!" Dipper yelled. Dipper's abrupt yell that shattered the silence in the area and made the monster quickly turn its head in our direction. Despite the danger before him, Soos ran out behind cover and started spamming pictures with his camera. He was yelling and the flash from his camera irritated the monster, making it swiftly retreat under the water.

I let out a breath of relief realizing that the danger was no longer present and I ran over to Soos. "What the heck Soos!" I yelled once I reached him. "You can't just run right at him!"

The large man child looked to the ground and rubbed the back of his neck. "Heh, sorry dude. I guess I scared him off didn't I?" Soos replied, not sensing my real concern.

I looked at him in disbelief. "What! No!" I continued. "Well, yeah you did scare him off, but that's not what I'm talking about!" Soos looked at me with confusion. "That thing could have taken your head off! You saw how big it was!" I didn't notice the large shadow in the water approaching. "Next time just be more careful, 's what I'm concerned about, not the stupid monster." The water behind us suddenly splashed violently, making me and Soos turn around to face the angered monster. It's bright yellow eyes burning into our souls "Shi-" I started, but was then drowned out by the mighty roar of the monster. That was a clear warning, he was _not _happy. I booked it with Soos in tow.

Now running for our lives, the five of us went straight for the boat with the Gobblewonker hot on our heels. Since this thing was mostly a marine freak of nature, it had a tough time chasing us to the boat. The monster made several desperate grabs with its giant mouth for us, and if that wasn't bad enough, the sheer weight this thing had was flattening trees. Dipper had to tackle his sister to the ground in order to dodge a falling tree and just barely had enough time to recover and continue running. My heart has never beaten this fast.

The boat was within sight and it looked like we were all going to make it, but looks can be deceiving. I was the last one in the group, since everyone else got a head start and Soos ran ahead of me with surprising speed, so I was the only target. With one clean motion, the Gobblewonker's head swept down, chomped and bit down on the back of my question mark shirt, mere millimeters from my skin. At first I thought I was fine, but my mood changed as I was raised into the air by the monster because of the hold it had on my shirt. I looked over my shoulder to see the two fierce yellow eyes glaring back at me.

And then the thing opened its mouth.

If you have been paying any attention, you would be able to guess that I am now very high up in the air and you would be correct. Out of pure instinct, I grabbed hold of one of the large tusks so I wouldn't fall and was now dangling from the creature's mouth. The Gobblewonker began to thrash violently so I would release my unwelcome hold on it's already damaged tooth. Not being able to hold on any longer, I was thrown hard into the now nearby lake water. When I emerged with a large gasp for air I saw the boat speeding towards me.

Stan was leaning off of the starboard side with one arm reaching towards the water. "I got ya, kid!" He yelled once the boat was closer. Due to my shock of what just happened, I was having trouble staying afloat. _Probably should have taken a life jacket. _ I made a grab for Stan's hand and was relieved that he caught hold of me. Stan was having a hard time pulling me out of the water with just the use of one arm, so I pulled my other arm out of the water for him to grab. With a mighty grunt he pulled me onboard and we both sprawled out on the deck.

I closed my eyes once I knew I was safe."Thanks," I said in no more than a whisper, the image of the Gobblewoner's eyes still fresh in my mind. I shakily stood up and helped pull Stan to his feet, only for us to almost get knocked down by the force of a wave that the Gobblewonker created after it tried to bite the boat. "Try and lose it!" I yelled to Soos. He nodded and went for a lap around the island that we had just escaped from.

He must have not been paying much attention because a big group of beavers on some boat wreckage was just ahead. "Soos! Beavers!" Dipper yelled as he realized where we were heading, but it was too late. We all braced ourselves as we smashed through the wreckage, making beavers rain from the sky. Most of them landed on the boat and started chomping in protest at the destruction of their home. They were on my shoulders, Mabel's arms, Dipper's head and on Soos's face.

"Why do animal's hate my clothes!" I yelled as the beavers on me started to tear at my shirt fabric. _Great, another article of clothing ruined. _Stan quickly punched the beavers off of me, since he was spared the delight of having any on him.

Soos had somehow managed to get the beaver that was latched to his face off of him. With his now regained sight he exclaimed, "AHH! BEAVER WITH A CHAINSAW!" I turned around and sure enough there was the little gremlin with a small but still _very _dangerous chainsaw in its mouth.

Since Soos had been temporarily blinded, Mabel was now in control of the boat. She made a swerve to try and dodge an attack from the Gobblewonker. This action made everyone on the boat, including the beaver with a chainsaw, lose their balance. Dipper saw the opportunity and threw the confused beaver off of the boat. The chainsaw now rested against the back wall of the boat. With the last of the beavers gone, Mabel now increased the boat's speed to its maximum, and wouldn't ya know it, we were actually losing the Gobblewonker. Slowly the beast submerged itself in the water as we got further and further away.

"Yes! We lost it!" Dipper exclaimed with a small sigh of relief. I wasn't so sure. Nothing is ever that easy, _especially_ in Gravity Falls.

Stan sat down on the deck as the boat started to slow. "My heart hasn't beaten this fast since that self entitled mother almost called the cops on me during a tour," He said weakly while clenching his chest. I couldn't help but scoff at that remark.

The lake was oddly quiet now with the monster submerged in the depths of the water. _Why did the Gobblewonker retreat? It could have easily caught up to us and there is no way we intimidated it so why did- _My eyes bulged in sudden realization. "Soos! Get us out of here!" I yelled, making the other four occupants of the boat look at me with confusion. _You can call me paranoid, but in my mind the only thing that would make the Gobblewonker run off like that is __**another**_ _Gobblewonker. _

My gaze flew over the side of the boat to see a series of rapidly approaching bubbles that confirmed my suspicion. My body jolted forward just before I yelled again, we were moving again, but nowhere near the speed we needed to be at. "The Monster is gone, dude. There's nothing on the fish sonar." Soos said at the helm, making me glance at it for myself. He was right, there was nothing. "I don't know why you're still freaking out." I wanted to believe him, I really did, but I knew that those sonars pick up living organisms... not machines. Plus the sonar was completely empty, showing no fish at all, indicating that they were scared off by a dangerous presence.

I looked to Soos and crossed my arms. There was a large splash and then the entire boat was covered in a dark shadow. "Oh really," I started with a lack of tone in my voice, "What's that then?" I didn't even turn around, I already knew what was there.

We were at cruising speed, but Soos quickly gunned it, making it hard for Stan to stand up. "Remind me to never doubt you again, dude," Soos said with wide eyes that were now glued to the water ahead.

The robotic Gobblewonker that McGucket had created was now hot on our heels. "There are two of them!" Stan exclaimed worriedly. "Why are there two of them!?" No one cared to answer him. Our bodies were now pumping the all to familiar adrenaline once more. With a lack of other options, Soos had no choice but to steer us through a large group of boats to avoid the robot. The mechanical beast submerged itself under the water to avoid detection from the surrounding fishers, but held its head just before the surface to make a bulge in the water without breaking its surface tension. While Soos was trying desperately to dodge and weave between the innocent bystanders, the 'Gobblewonker' went right under them to get to us, sending people flying out of their boats.

Realizing that there was a lack of boats in our immediate area, McGucket brought the monster's head out of the water to attack us. Instead of going for a bite, the monster swiped at our boat with its head supported by its long neck. Soos reacted quickly and swerved the boat out of the way and I braced knowing that the second swipe would not miss.

But to my surprise, it did.

That instantly threw me off, it seemed like things were back on track to how the events were in the show, but now something was wrong. McGucket was now chasing us instead of the real Gobblewonker, we got all the beavers off the boat, Soos is driving the boat- I facepalmed at my realization. _Mabel_ was the one that was supposed to be driving, instead it was Soos and his experience with the vessel must have been the reason why we didn't get hit.

I looked forward, we were speeding right at a waterfall. The cliff faces encasing the lake were becoming more and more narrow, offering little hope of escape. "Oh dude! Where do I go?" Soos asked frantically.

I stepped in between Dipper and Stan so the old man couldn't see his great nephew take out the third journal. "Um-Uh-" Dipper started quickly flipping through the journal, "Go into the falls! I think there might be a cave behind there!"

"'Might be!'' Mabel yelled repeating her brother's words. Everyone began to scream except for me as I held onto the boat so I wouldn't be forcefully flung onto the cave floor. We crashed through the waterfall…

But there was no cave.

Instead, there was a small little bank of sand that halted the motion of the boat entirely just before the large rock wall behind the falls. Since I was the only one that braced, I was the only one who remained on the boat. With a groan, I brought my gaze over the railing of the boat to see Dipper, Mabel and Soos all sprawled out on the sand. Stan had landed on top of Soos, cushioning his impact. The roar of the falls above us was so deafening that I couldn't even hear my feet land on the shore after I jumped off the boat.

Everyone was spread out a fair amount, Dipper and Mabel were to my left and Soos and Stan were on my right. No way Stan could be hurt after landing on a guy like Soos, so I made my way to Dipper and Mabel. _What just happened? _I thought as I ran over to the twins. _Why is there no cave? _I'd think about that later, right now my friends could be hurt.

Mabel was flat on her face, undoubtedly getting a ton of sand in her mouth and braces. Her brother was starting to sit up while fixing his hat, also making sure his journal was still secure in his life jacket that he had changed into earlier. I helped Dipper stand up and then flipped his sister onto her back so that she actually had a chance to breathe. "Are you guys okay?" I yelled over the roar of the falls. Dipper nodded and Mabel spit sand out of her mouth.

"Yeah, we're good," Dipper said, comforting his sister. "Where are Stan and Soos?" I turned back to the boat and just past it I could see them both. I was about to run over to them now that I knew that the twins were alright, but the mechanical Gobblewonker slowly stuck it's head and part of its neck through the rushing water of the waterfall to peer inside. Of course the monster spotted Soos and Stan with little delay.

I had to get McGucket's attention, I tried to shout but the roar of the falls drowned me out. With no options left, I picked up a rock I noticed was resting near my foot. I let it fly and it soared directly into the monster's right cheek… if you can even call it that. The impact of the stone not only caught its attention, but made a metal clunking sound that I was just barely able to make out over the waterfall.

The eyes of the mechanical Gobblewonker locked with mine. I squinted, knowing that McGucket was looking at me through the eyes of his creation. With no hesitation, I picked up another rock that was within my grasp and chucked it at the monster, this time hitting it on the top of its head. This made another loud metal thud and within a split second the Gobblewonker rushed over to in front of me. I held out my arm just like I had done before when we first encountered McGucket and the twins hid behind me once more.

The monster growled at me, but I didn't flinch. Instead I yelled as loud as I could, "McGucket!" I cupped my free hand around my mouth to project my voice. The monster didn't move. "You may be a lunatic, but even with that in mind, I know you won't kill us! Call that thing off!" The mechanical Gobblewonker slowly advanced closer to the twins and I. Eventually, the upper body of the monster made its way behind the falls and I could see a hatch open on the mechanical creature's back.

McGucket poked his head out and yelled back at me, "What was that? I never got a chance to instal audio receptors on this thing!" I was about to respond, but in the corner of my eye I saw a stone hurling towards McGucket. The rock made contact with the hillbilly's head, knocking him out.

"Stan!" I yelled as my gaze flew over to him. "What the heck!"

"What?!" Was all he responded with. Of course he couldn't hear me. I shook my head and turned to face the twins, Mabel was confused and Dipper was eying me suspiciously.

"How did you know that old guy was controlling that thing?" Dipper asked with a cocked eyebrow and crossed arms. It may have been a bad idea to do what I just did, but I don't know what would have happened if I didn't. I did say that I would step in if someone was going to get hurt, didn't I? "Well for starters, he was the _only _one who saw the Gobblewonker originally, no one else even knew what he was talking about when he was making a fuss about it earlier. I've seen enough movies to know that's a red flag." Mabel nodded in understanding and Dipper's expression had not changed. "Secondly," I continued, "This thing didn't come up on the fish sonar thing that Soos has, well, _had_, on his boat." I gestured over to the boat wreckage. "The other one came up clear as day," I lied. Honestly, I have no idea if that was true or not. "Thirdly, why would the creature completely slow down when it had us cornered." Dipper's expression started to ease and he grew less skeptical. "Lastly, when the rocks I threw at the monster hit its skin, it made an unnatural thud, implying that the creature was metal."

"Huh," Dipper said while uncrossing his arms, "I guess you're right." During my explanation that I completely BS-ed my way through, Soos and Stan had reached us.

"Way to knock the guy out Grunkle Stan!" Mabel cheered once he was within earshot. "You showed him!"

Stan rubbed the back of his neck and smiled at his great niece's praise. "Well, I can't have some crazy old guy harass my family, now can I?" Stan said, making Dipper scoff. "Oh come on, I'm part of the family _I_ get to harrass you guys all I want!"

"Uh, dudes?" Soos said, butting into the conversation, "Shouldn't we, like, go make sure that guy is still breathing?

"Yeah, probably," Dipper responded.

Since McGucket wasn't able to bring his creation to the shore of the sand bank, our group needed to tread through knee deep water to get to the hatch. I made sure that my phone that was still somehow in my pocket didn't get damaged from the unexpected swim I took earlier. Even though I could barely use it because I didn't have any internet connection, I don't want to lose the hundreds of songs I have downloaded on it. After a short time we reached the 'Gobblewonker's' back flipper. Soos and I let Mabel and Dipper use us as makeshift ladders so they could pull themselves on the back of the monster. Next Soos gave me a boost to join the twins and then the same with Stan. Stan and I each grabbed one of Soos's hands so that we could hoist him up with us.

By the time Soos had joined us, Dipper and Mabel were already inspecting McGucket's knocked out form. "Well, at least he's got a pulse," Dipper said while retracting his hand from McGucket's wrist.

"Oh good," Stan said, stepping into the monster's control room, "I don't need anything else on my conscience." _That's true. _ A silence descended over the group. "Are we going to wake him up?" Stan asked. "If he's delusional when he wakes up, I'm telling him that he owes me money."

I rolled my eyes at him, "Stan don't do that."

"Why not? He asked while spreading his arms out to emphasize his point. "The guy tried to kill us five minutes ago!"

"Huh, racoon wife? Is that you?" McGucket suddenly asked as his eyes flew open.

Stan cracked a smile. "Yep, definitely delusional," He concluded and leaned over to my ear. "Tell him to bring me my money!" He whispered and I just ignored him.

McGucket realized that we were in the machine with him. "What kind of hootenanny is this?" he asked, rubbing his forehead. "How'd y'all get in here?"

"The hatch was open so we climbed inside to check on you after some debris hit your head," I responded.

"Really?" Soos said. "Didn't Mr. Pines nail him in the head?" The four of us turned and eyed Soos while McGucket continued to rub his head. "I guess not, must've been seeing things, heh, heh..." Soos chuckled nervously at our glares.

After a moment of silence, I spoke up. "Did you make this thing?" I asked, gesturing around us knowing the answer.

McGucket quickly stood up. "Yes sir, I did!" He replied.

Dipper eyes went wide, "Wha- YOU made this!?" _Wasn't that already obvious? _

Mabel put her hand on her brother's shoulder. "Yes Dipper, he's the one that made this mighty contraption!" Mabel said in a dramatic tone. "Now, go ahead and overthink _everything_ about this while we get some answers."

"I will," was all he responded with.

"Atta boy!" Mabel said while patting her brother's back. "So, mysterious hillbilly genius, why'd ya make this?" Mabel asked, her attention now back to McGucket.

McGucket looked at us with embarrassment, "I-I, uh, I just wanted attention…" _Poor guy. Sure making a death machine is a stretch to get some attention, but he's been alone for so long. _

"I still don't understand," Dipper said to himself, still lost in his thoughts.

McGucket thought that he was talking to him, "Well, first I just-"

"No," I cut him off, "_Why _did you make this?" I said, restating the question to a broken minded individual. _Patience is gonna be the key on this one. _

"Well, when you get to be an old fella like me," McGucket started, taking off his hat, "Nobody pays any attention to you anymore. My own son hasn't visited me in months." He then placed a hand under his chin. "Or was it years? Oh scrapgummity, I can't remember..."

"So, did you ever talk to- Wait, do you hear that?" I asked. It sounded like groaning metal.

"Huh, yeah I think I do hear som-" Soos was cut off as the 'Gobblewonker' got pulled out of the waterfall and back into the lake.

Dipper was snapped back to his senses now and he pointed to the still open hatch, "Quick close the door!" McGucket ran over to the hatch on all fours and then hopped up to grab the door to pull it back in place before we submerged.

There were multiple monitors and screens displaying live feed of the 'Gobblewonker's' surroundings and on one of them it showed a familiar green sea monster. "The real Goblewonker is back! Looks like he's not scared of this thing anymore!"

The whole machine shook violently as the Gobblewonker rammed into its fake counterpart. "We're safe in here right?" Stan asked, a little panicked. "What's this thing made of?"

"It's got a steel alloy with mattress springs supporting the neck and air jugs in the belly for floatation," McGucket explained.

"He's kidding… right?" Stan asked and McGucket did not give an answer.

"Oh, dude, he's not kidding," Soos replied.

We were now completely under water, trapped in a confined control room of a mighty mechanical beast. McGucket took a seat in front of his computers that must be the way that he controls this thing. I walked up behind him and placed a hand on the chair that he was sitting in. "Can you get us out of here?" I asked, watching the Gobblewonker on the live feed. It looked like, no, it _was _coming in for another attack.

"I have no idea!" Was all McGucket responded with as he pulled a lever next to one of the screens.

"We are so dead." Stan said bluntly.

The 'Gobblewonker' instantly straightened out and turned around making everyone except McGucket lose their balance. The great machine was now staring down the real monster, making it slow down its charge in anticipation of an attack. But we didn't move. The Gobblewonker noticed this and opened its mouth as it gained speed, aiming its sharp teeth at the 'Gobblewonker's' neck. "Hang on, fellers!" McGucket yelled, pressing down hard on a pedal with his bandaged foot. This action made us dive down just before the Gobblewonker made contact with the robot's metal alloy. Once we were clear, McGucket somehow pulled a stick shift with his long white beard, making us level out once more and propelled his creation forward. The video feed showed the Gobblewonker quickly realize that we had evaded its jaws and swiftly turned to chase the 'Gobblewonker.'

"What are we going to do?" Dipper asked, gripping his hat tightly. "Diving to deeper water is only going to be a temporary solution!" He was right, the monster would eventually catch up with us.

Mabel's eyes lit up. "What if we fought it with this thing?"She asked while gesturing to the robot we were trapped in.

"Mabel, that's a _terrible _idea!" Dipper responded.

She completely disregarded what her brother just said. "Monster Fight! Monster Fight! Monster Fight!" She chanted while pumping her fists into the air.

"Now's not the time Mabel." I said blatantly, though not completely disregarding her solution. We could try and fight it off, but I don't know anything about the real Gobblewonker. I have no idea of its weaknesses, or even if it has any! _This wasn't how it was supposed to go, this wasn't how this is supposed to go at all! We were never supposed to encounter the real Gobblewonker, is my presence making __**that **__big of a change on the story? _

"Why is this thing so angry at us!" Stan cried, noticing that the Gobblewonker was rapidly closing its distance. In the short time that we have been, well, swimming from the monster, we had managed to make our way back to the main part of the lake.

"Dude, this thing is not giving up." Soos commented, making Stan roll his eyes at his employee. Soos was right though, the Gobblewonker was not showing any signs of stopping.

With a sigh I turned my head from the screen to McGucket who, surprisingly, was serious and concentrated with keeping distance from the monster. "McGucket, although I hate to say it, I think we are going to have to fight this thing. Will this copy be able to hold up against the real thing?" I asked reluctantly.

"Only one way to find out!" He responded in a crazy tone while grabbing the clutch with his beard, making my eyes widen.

"Wait!" I yelled. "There are people just fishing and minding their own business on the surface." I heard stan mutter something under his breath about how those people minding their own business could have been us, but I ignored him. "Just get us back to Scuttlebutt island so no one gets hurt." I noticed McGucket look upset at my request.

"Oh, all right." He responded, a little upset that I denied the chaos.

Once we reached the island McGucket pulled the clutch once more, making us do a one-hundred eighty degree turn to face the Gobblewonker. The crazy old hillbilly then pressed a button and his creation let out a roar that stopped the monster in its tracks. For a moment both beasts made no motion, staring each other in the eyes, almost daring the other to make a move.

"CHARGE!" Mabel yelled, and McGucket did just that. He opened the monster's mouth and sped towards the large, green flippered adversary. The Gobblewonker charged as well and once the monster was within reach, McGucket made an attempt to bite the creature's scaly neck. However, in a surprising move, the Gobblewonker dodged the attack by diving just before it got striked. The monster, now under us, hit the belly of the robot with its powerful tail, making all of us inside the victim fall on our faces. All except McGucket, who was still graced by having a chair to sit in. Instead of following up the tail slap with another attack like I had expected it to, the Gobblewonker went right over to where the land of the island met the lake floor and awaited our next move.

Dipper noticed this as well. "Why didn't it follow up?" He asked as McGucket turned to face the Gobblewonker. The monster was holding a defensive position in the water that it now occupied, and it awaited our next move. _This thing is smarter than it looks_. Before McGucket moved us again, I saw the monster quickly move its head to a large group of rocks at the base of the island and then quickly back to us as we approached.

Instead of going for the neck, this time the robot went for a ram at the Goblewonker's body. The lake monster was unable to dodge the attack this time and was sent forcefully out to deeper water. Now that the monster was clear of the area that it appeared to be defending, I was able to get a quick uninterrupted look at our surroundings. It looked like a cave entrance that was cut off by a landslide of rocks. I was able to see a small gap in the rocks that was too small for the Gobblewonker but big enough for a human to pass through.

We suddenly moved again to avoid the most aggressive and reckless attack from the Gobblewonker. It was weird, just a moment ago the monster was being careful and picking its shots wisely, but now that we were next to this potential cave entrance it was lashing out. It was clear that the Gobblewonker did not want us there. McGucket used the creature's recklessness to his advantage, the monster had tried attacking with so much force that it flew right past us and was left wide open. With the push of a button, McGucket slapped the Gobblewonker with his creation's metal tail, sending it to the sandy lake floor.

"McGucket, bring us back out to the open water." I requested, realizing that we had but a moment before the Gobblwonker would bounce back. McGucket complied quickly to my surprise and didn't think anything of it.

"What for, dude?" Soos asked.

"I wanna test something." I responded as the monster swam to the closed off cave entrance. "Wait for it to make the first move this time." We waited a full ten seconds, which may not seem like a lot, but in this tense situation, it felt much longer. And during this time, the Gobblewonker made no effort to push forward, resuming its defensive position that it had before. "Roar to try and provoke it." McGucket compiled once more and his creation let out another mighty roar. The Gobblewonker echoed its counterpart, but still made now attempts to move forward.

"Okay, now do what you did before and get this guy out in the open water." I inquired. We charged forward once more, going for another pummel. The Gobblewonker tried to dodge again, but its body was too big of a target and we made contact. "Now watch how aggressive it gets." I stated, making Stan scoff as the monster made another reckless attempt to bite us. "Pull back." I ordered. McGucket did what he was told and we were back to open water.

"Kid, of course the thing is going to get aggressive, we just headbutted it!" Stan exclaimed with outstretched arms.

"Then why isn't it attacking now then?" I asked while pointing at the monster on a computer screen. "Every time we've gotten to the position the Gobblewonker is in right now, it gets super aggressive and tries to desperately remove us from the area. But if we're not-"

"Then it waits for us to attack first." Dipper finished. "It's being super cautious with its moves when it has that area secured." He turned to me. "Do you think it's actually defending something?" Dipper asked.

"I believe so." I responded. "I caught a glimpse of what looked like a cave, but it's entrance was, well, caved-in."

"Is there something in there that it wants?" Mabel asked, making me shrug.

"I'm not sure, but there was a gap that one of us could probably swim through to get inside and find out." I stated and then turned to McGucket. "Do you have any scuba equipment in case of emergencies?" He opened a drawer and inside was a small rebreather and a pair of goggles with a missing eyepiece for the left eye. "That'll do… I guess."

Hold on a second there, kid," Stan started, "You're not seriously thinking about going out there, are you?" He glanced at the two objects in the drawer and noticed the state of disrepair they were in. I shrugged when he looked back at me. "You're kidding. That thing will tear you to shreds if you go anywhere near it!"

"Well I'm still going to consider it." I replied, taking the equipment out of the drawer. "There's gotta be a reason why the Gobblewonker wants to protect that area so badly."

"If it loves that cave so much then why doesn't it just go inside and leave us alone?" Stan asked and Dipper shook his head.

"He can't, Grunkle Stan. The cave is blocked, remember?" Dipper then put a hand on his chin and dove into deep thought.

Mabel spoke up, "Matt's right though. Why would that ugly momma wanna protect that cave so bad?"

After she said that, the answer clicked in my head, and I could tell that Dipper was thinking the same thing. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "Matt, you don't think that he is a she, do you?" Dipper asked. It made sense, the Gobblewonker could be trying to protect its young.

"It's definitely a possibility." I nodded in confirmation. "Maybe when the entrance was cut off the monster couldn't reach its offspring and set it in a state of panic."

"Well, why don't the big critter just knock all them there rocks away?" McGucket asked.

"It might think that it will hurt its children if it tries that." Dipper responded.

Stan rolled his eyes at his nephew's hypothesis. "It's just a stupid Lochness Monster wannabe, it can't be that smart." Stan stated with crossed arms.

"Uh, I dunno, dude," Soos responded, "I think that story checks out."

"Yeah, Grunkle Stan! Why you bein' so Grunkly about this?" Mabel asked, approaching her Grunkle. I knew the answer, it's just a matter if he would say it or not.

Stan looked at me and then to everyone else. They were now staring intently at him, waiting for an answer. "Look when I woke up today, I thought it would be a fun idea to go fishing and spend some time with my family." _Oh boy. _"But, noooo. Instead, I get dragged into some insane monster hunt for a photo contest and I want nothing to do with it!" Stan yelled.

"But what about the grand prize?" Dipper asked.

"I don't care about that anymore!" Stan yelled back, surprising everyone in the control room. "We've almost died like three times so far! It's not worth it!"

"Actually, dude, I'm pretty sure it was four." I elbowed Soos to shut him up. "Heh heh, sorry dude."

Stan rolled his eyes. "You've gotta draw the line somewhere, we've been ignoring that fact for a while now. And now, I say it's time!" He yelled.

I put a hand on the old man's shoulder. "I know, Stan, but that monster might need our help." I said. He brushed my hand away and walked over to a corner in the room. "You do realize that the Gobblewonker is just trying to do the same thing that you are doing, right?" Everyone else was confused by my statement, but I knew Stan understood what I meant. He gave a huff, crossed his arms and looked away. _Stan is just trying to protect his kids, just like the Gobblewonker. _

Now that Stan was looking away, I turned to Dipper, took out my phone and handed it to him. "Hold onto this for me will ya?" He took the device from my hand and I set the goggles on my face. _I bet I look ridiculous. _My thought was confirmed when I heard Mabel giggle but I didn't say anything to her and held the rebreather close to my mouth. I turned to McGucket who was watching the live feed of the Gobblewonker intently, making sure that it didn't attack. It had hardly moved, just like I had suspected. With a deep breath that caught McGucket's attention I began to voice a plan. "Okay, I'm going to go out there, swim into that cave once the coast is clear and see what I can do about that blockage. In the meantime, you guys are going to buy me time. Every spare second you get, try and help me with the rocks."

"How would we do that?" Dipper asked, making me face him once more. "I mean, we could probably cover you, but how can we help with the debris at the same time?" His sister was moving towards the back of the room as she noticed something that caught her eye. "It's not like we have another long appendage that we could control."

"Hey, country bumpkin!" Mabel suddenly called to McGucket. _Country Bumpkin? _ "What are these controls for?" She was gesturing to a powered down console with its own set of buttons and levers. I raised an eyebrow out of curiosity as I hadn't noticed it before.

McGucket glanced over to Mabel, who was now closely inspecting the buttons. "Well, I designed this lake critter to catch my son's fancy. So naturally, I implemented a control system for the robot's tail." He then looked at the ceiling thoughtfully. "We would have brought so much destruction together." McGucket mused. "Father and son, striking fear into the hearts of children and grandmas!"

Mabel looked at me quickly and I just shrugged. "Riiiiight…" She responded worriedly. A split second later her tone was back to its cheery self. "Anyway, does it still work?"

"It might be a little rusty, but it should work." The crazy hillbilly replied.

Mabel grabbed a lever in each hand. "Okay good! You watch our front and I'll make sure Matt is all good back here at the rear." She covered her mouth to suppress a giggle. "Heh, heh, rear." I couldn't help but smirk and roll my eyes at that statement.

"Nice thinking, Mabel!" Dipper praised, completely ignoring his sister's immaturity.

"Okay Dipstick, I'm going to control the tail with my epic and awesome art craftsmanship hands while you use your big nerd brain to tell me which rocks I should move." Mabel stated as McGucket powered on her console. I must say, I am impressed with her logic.

"What about me, Soos!" The manchild exclaimed pointing to himself.

"You stay here and keep Stan company." I answered, earning a nod from the handyman and Stan himself just scowled. "I probably should have asked this earlier, but does this thing have an escape hatch that I could open that won't flood the entire vessel?" Stan scoffed and muttered something. I think it was something about being so clever that I was an idiot. _I'm probably reminding him of his brother right about now. _I felt terrible about this and I looked at Stan and he didn't bother to look back. His twin brother had taken this path once, one of supernatural occurrences and monsters and it got him lost between dimensions. This old man has seen first hand how dangerous all this crazy stuff can be, and I know that he doesn't want anyone he cares about to get hurt. "I'll be careful, Stan. I promise."

"You'd better." Was all he replied with, not even giving so much as a glance in my direction. _Huh, wow, does Stan actually care about me? _He hasn't even known me for a full week yet, but I guess I really was growing on him.

"We all good, McGucket?" I asked and he gave me a quick nod.

"I just double checked if there is an exit for emergencies, and I am happy to report that we have one!" I gave a laugh at the old man's state of mind, which thinking back on it, was kind of mean but I pushed those thoughts aside.

"Alright," I started, "Bring us in." McGucket gave another nod and pushed down on a foot pedal, propelling us forward. Instead of trying to ram the Gobblewonker like he had done before, McGucket went all out and went for a bite at the monster's neck. The Lake mo nster had not expected this, it probably thought that we were going for another ram like I did. The Gobblewonker tried last second to maneuver out of the way, but it was too late and now the creature was trapped in the jaws of the mechanical monster.

McGucket slowly backed up his creation so that we were just in front of the collapsed cave entrance. "Here's your chance, kiddo!" McGucket pressed a button and a tile on the floor opened up to reveal the dark blue depths of the lake. I took a deep breath and kicked off my shoes and socks, making sure that I had a waterproof disposable camera in one of my pockets and a flashlight that McGucket had given to me in the other. The control room flashed red a couple of times and my eyes flew over to a live feed monitor and it showed the Gobblewonker biting its counterpart back. "I've got her for now, but this hootenanny of a machine won't hold her back forever!" I nodded and jumped into the water.

I was shocked at how cold it was, the sun's radiant heat was unable to reach the depths of the water. I closed my exposed eye so my vision wouldn't be horribly disoriented between blurry and clear. I began to swim towards the cave, but the mechanical tail that was controlled by Mabel almost hit me square in the face making me stop abruptly. _Maybe letting a hyperactive glitter monster we call a child have control of the massive robot tail wasn't the best idea. _

I pressed onward after the little incident and as soon as I reached the rocks at the cave entrance, McGucket squirmed his way out of the Gobllewonkers' jaws. Once they were free, Mabel hit the monster in the belly stunning it for a moment and she then waved to me with the tail. I couldn't help but wave back. Mabel quickly found herself occupied once more as the Gobblewonker charged in for another attack. I needed to be out of the way so they could actually help me move some of these rocks. The hole that I had spotted was bigger than I thought, allowing me to go through with no problem.

The cave was extremely dark with the only the faintest of light passing through the hole in the rocks. I pulled the flashlight out of my pocket and flicked it on, good thing McGucket had a waterproof one lying around. Shining the light all around my surroundings, I found nothing, but I did discover a pocket of air at the top of the cave. Deciding that it would be wise to conserve my limited oxygen, I swam up to it and my jaw dropped at what I saw after I looked around. This obviously made me drop the rebreather that was previously clenched in my mouth, I panicked but I got a hold of it again. My eyes drifted back to what was laying on one of the large flat rocks that was poking out of the water, there were three Gobblewonkers huddled together.

Based on the size of their mother, I expected them to be at the very least the size of two or three Soos' but these were barely the size of Dipper or Mabel, their heads probably would make it just past my belly button.. _These are definitely babies, maybe even newborns. No wonder Momawonker got so aggressive. _I swam over to the rock they were laying on and started to climb up on top of it. I set the flashlight down so that it was balanced and pointing straight up, illuminating a large portion of this underwater cave and put the rebreather in my pocket. As soon as I took a step closer to them, two of the three's heads instantly looked up at me. They were green and looked like little seals, just with tails and a long skinny neck and the head of a dinosaur on top of it, so not seals at all.

The two looking at me started to growl, making me flinch and have to push my sopping wet hair out of my face. Despite showing signs of hostility, neither of them moved towards me, they weren't the most agile on land after all. I raised my hands and stepped forward once more so that maybe I can try and catch a glimpse of the third one that hasn't moved at all yet. As I got closer, the aggravated pair waddled over to me with their little flippers, which would have been adorable if they weren't ready to bite my hand off. They were slow on land, just like I suspected, and I easily avoided and got past them. I looked at the third one and let out a small gasp. Its entire little tail was trapped under a decently sized rock and as I got closer to it, the baby let out a cry. My face contorted in fear and I prayed that its mother didn't hear it, but despite my hopes, I heard a faint roar.

"Hey, hey, its okay." I said calmly to the now distressed babywonker. I looked away from it and noticed its brethren were now trying to come to its aid and tried biting at my ankles. I quickly stepped back and spread out my arms to make myself look as big a s possible, which slightly intimidated them. "C'mon guys, can't you see I'm trying to help?" I quickly walked over to the edge of the rock that we were all located on and waited for one of them to lunge at me. Fortunately, these little guys are just babies, and all babies are dumb. One of them tried to bite me and I side stepped out of the way and it fell right into the water behind me, making the other one stop its advance. I held eye contact with it while I walked past it, it was growling like a dog the entire time, but made no attempt to attack out of fear of me striking back.

I took a knee next to the trapped babywonker and set a hand on its exposed back and started to stroke it. I would try and move the rock right now, but this thing might squirm too much and get even more hurt than it already was. At first, my touch was unwelcome and the little monster tried biting at my hand, but eventually it started to calm down and realized that I wasn't going to hurt it. The youngling layed its head calmly on the rock. Now that it wasn't trying to bite my hand every few seconds, I was able to notice how soft and bluber-y its skin was due to a lack of scales. Its breathing rate became steady and I could feel the little guy's heartbeat pulsate through his body.

I looked over when I heard a little plop, the other baby Goblewonker had managed to get back on the rock after its unexpected swim. Both siblings noticed how calm their trapped sibling was under my touch and started to calm down as well. Once I was fairly sure I had gained all three's trust, I stood up. This, in turn, made the trapped Gobblewonker raise its head and look at me. "Let's get you out of there, huh?" I said, giving the baby one last reassuring stroke. The rock trapping the creature must weigh at least one hundred and sixty pounds based on its size. I placed both hands on its rough surface and began to push with my legs and it started to slowly move. I took a deep breath and began pushing again and this time I wasn't alone. The two free babywonkers tried to help by pushing the rock with me using their rounded, fatty shoulders. While they weren't helping much it was a very sweet thing to see, it almost made my grip slip when I saw them helping me because I thought they were trying to go another round at my ankles. With one final grunt, I pushed the dense rock off of the monster's tail and into the water with a big splash. I almost fell in after the rock, but I caught myself on my hands just in time.

By the time I stood up, the three siblings were huddled together in a makeshift hug. I walked towards one of the rock's edges and picked up the flashlight I had set on the ground. When I turned around the now free baby gobblewonker was looking up at me, I could see that the monster's tail had a big bruise on it, but somehow the little guy didn't seem to mind. "You okay?" I asked and it gave a little squeal in response. "Alright then, let's get out of here."

I placed the rebreather back into my mouth and jumped into the water with the flashlight, but only after I took a selfie with the babywonkers. My heart was warmed to see the three siblings back together, but now it is ice cold again after jumping into the water.

I was able to see a significant amount of light coming through the cave entrance, as most of the rocks were clear courtesy of Mabel. Me and the three little guys swam out of the cave once I knew that McGucket had the area secure. I could see the hatch on the bottom open up for me but a loud roar tore my focus from it. The still very aggressive Gobblewonker saw its young and made a mad charge forward. McGucket tried to hold his own against the attack, but the monster sent my friends into the rock wall next to the cave, which just so happened to be where I was. My eyes grew wide as the mechanical Gobblewonker came hurtling towards me. I tried to swim out of the way but the tail hit me directly, making the rebreather fall out of my mouth.

My head started to pound, every cell in my body was screaming for oxygen. I needed to take a breath, and I did. For some reason it didn't hurt like I thought it would, it was almost peaceful actually. I began to fall. I fell further and further into the darkness until it threatened to swallow me whole. The last thing I saw was the babywonker that I saved trying to save me.

The first thing I felt was weight, not weight on my chest trying to spring my lungs back to life, but weight in my lap. I opened my eyes to the bright sun, and I felt warm. I felt calm as well until I started coughing up the water and gunk that was in my lungs a few seconds after regaining consciousness. Slowly sitting up, I saw what the weight on my lap was. It was the babywonker. I smiled at it, the little guy looked comfortable.

"Looks like you saved me, now we're even," I said with a cough making the babywonker look at me. I could have sworn that it shook its head at me as the sun was suddenly blocked out by a large form. It took a second for my eyes to adjust to the new lighting, but I wish they hadn't. Looking down at me was the Gobblewonker. I jumped back and scraped my hand on the rough surface I was laying on, but that hardly mattered right now. I knew any second this thing was going to open its giant maw and I'd be dead. I shut my eyes tightly in anticipation, but nothing happened.

I slowly opened them, to see that the big guy, well actually big girl, hadn't moved at all. It was just looking at me and all I could do was look back. I broke eye contact and brought my hands down my face, noticing that my goggles weren't there anymore, and made sure that I wasn't going insane. I somehow wasn't.

After I made eye contact with the Gobblewonker again, it slowly brought its head closer to me, prompting me to scoot as far away as I could. I looked over my shoulder once I ran out of room and saw the water and a flipper. I was on the Gobblewonker's back. "_You_ saved me?" The monster answered me by bringing its head a foot in front of mine. Then it closed the distance, lightly nudging me with its head like a dog. "Thanks," Was all I could manage to get out. I guess this was just a misunderstood creature, it seemed to have a big heart and you can call me crazy, but I think the Gobblewonker was thanking me right now as well. I went into the cave and saved its young, whether it knew that or not I'm not sure, but I would like to think that. Why else would she save me?

Regardless, this was incredible. I began to lightly stroke its face with my hand as it gave a low hum in response. The moment didn't last long as I heard a splash come from the water making the Gobblewonker pull away and whip its head in the noise's direction. I could see the mechanical Gobblewonker racing towards us. I stood up and began to stroke the beast's lower neck, hoping that the action would calm it. Making sure that I was in line of sight of McGucket, I waved with my free hand showing that I was unharmed. The babywonker nuzzled itself next to my leg and I patted its head. "Man, I really need to give you a name," I said under my breath.

I could feel the surprise coming from everyone inside the robot as they slowed their speed, making me smile. The Gobblewonker began to make a low growl as they got closer. "It's okay," I said, speeding up my strokes on its neck. "They're friends." The monster tilted its head in my direction and seemed to calm down. However, she did not bring her guard down, she was still ready to strike if she saw it fit.

This was a very tense situation. A cold war pact was unanimously formed between the two behemoths, one that could easily be shattered by a certain trigger happy hillbilly, but I trusted him not to do anything dumb. The mechanical Gobblewonker came to a halt and the top hatch sprung open revealing Soos.

"Dude! Oh my gosh, dude, are you all good?" He asked and I gave a nod in reply, setting an awkward silence over the both of us. "So," Soos said after a couple seconds, looking at the monster. "Who's your friend?" I started to laugh at the question as Soos was pulled back down into the control room. Dipper and Mabel popped their heads into the air.

"How's it goin' you two?" I asked, now leaning on the Gobblewonker's neck.

"Matt, that is so cool!" Dipper yelled maybe a bit too loud. "How did you tame them?" Mabel was just relieved to see that I was okay.

I let out a scoff at Dipper's question. "I did no such thing," I answered, patting the monster's neck. "Turns out this girl here is not a 'stupid Lochness Monster wannabe.'"

Dipper let out a laugh and turned his head back down to the cockpit. "Ha! I told you Grunkle Stan!" Dipper exclaimed.

"Who's that little guy?" Mabel asked, pointing to the baby resting against my leg.

"Oh, his name is um," _Way to put me on the spot Mabel! _"His name is Greg," I replied.

"Meh, I think he looks like more of a Bartholomew."

"No way, Mabel." I gave a small laugh and squatted down next to Greg. "I guess this is goodbye," I said while giving him a pat on the head, prompting him to let out a small squeak. "Yeah, I'll miss you too." I stood up and hopped over to the mechanical Gobblewonker and jumped down the hatch, but not before I waved goodbye to the two monsters.

"Bye Mommawonker, bye Gregory!" Mabel called with an extravagant wave. "I guess that kind of has a ring to it." I gave her a smirk in ruffled her hair, making her giggle.

I closed the hatch and we submerged down into the water. "Well that was an unexpected adventure, huh dudes?" Soos asked.

"Sure was," I responded. _He has no idea. _I glanced over to Stan who was making his way over to me. "I'm sorry about all this, Stan," I said once he reached me. "We can go fishing tomorrow if you want."

Stan waved a hand through the air. "Ah, don't worry about it, kid. I guess I had a good time today, all things considered." I gave him a small smile. "Only time I get a rush like that is when I run from the cops!" I gave a laugh and he smiled.

"Well now at least you can't deny the supernatural exists, Grunkle Stan," Dipper said once my laughter subsided. _Way to kill the mood, Dipstick. _

"Kid I've always known about it," Stan replied with a scoff. He placed a hand on his nephew's shoulder. "Look, I'm sorry about lying to you about it, but I only did it because I didn't want you to get hurt. The one thing that I know about all this weirdness is that it's dangerous. I don't want my family at risk." Way to go Stan, I didn't think he had it in him.

Dipper was a little shocked at this revelation at first, but he moved on from it pretty quick. "It's okay, Grunkle Stan. I guess I can see where you're coming from."

"Well I don't!" Mabel exclaimed with a mischievous smile. "My own grunkle lied to me, I think he needs to give me something in return."

Stan rolled his eyes with a smile and got down on one knee. "Would a hug be enough?" He asked with outstretched arms. The twins smiled and ran up to him and embraced him. I was smiling too until I caught a glance at McGucket. His face was slightly upset, undoubtedly thinking about his own family while watching the Pines interact.

A few minutes later we were back on the shore after a stealthy approach. We decided, McGucket included, that exposing either of the Gobblewonkers was a bad idea. We made our way back to Stan's car and Dipper let out a sigh. "It's a shame we never got any pictures for the contest," Dipper said, plopping himself in the backseat. Stan put the keys in the ignition and wordlessly handed his nephew one of the disposable cameras and a big grin found its way onto Dipper's face.

"Hamster Ball!" Mabel exclaimed while punching the air.

The ride back to the Shack was one of comfortable silence, but as we cut through town something caught my eye. "Hey Stan, can you let me out here?" I asked.

"Sure, kid," He replied. "Do you need us to come along?"

I shook my head as I exited the car. "Nah, I just need to go and check on something. Can you come back for me in an hour?" Stan nodded and I closed the door. I gave a small wave as they drove off. Once they were gone I turned and walked into the Gravity Falls Dump and spotted McGucket.

"Hello, McGucket," I said, making him quickly turn and face me.

"Oh hello visitor! Matt, was it?" The old man asked and I nodded. "What brings a young feller like yourself here?"

"Can I come inside?" I asked, which seemed to surprise him. He gave a quick nod and led me into his home.

"I-I'm sorry if this place is kind of messy, I usually don't get visitors."

"It's quite alright, Fiddleford. I've just come to give you some company," I responded. "I didn't know that your son doesn't talk to you," I lied. "I know I'm not a part of your family, but I don't like the thought of you being all alone." McGucket gave me a warm smile and I could tell that I was the first person that he could call a friend in a long time.


	4. Headhunters

**Boom, twenty thousand word update for you cuz you guys are the best!**

I was dreaming. It was something about being back home with my friends and catching up because I had gone missing for a week. There were eight or nine of us just lounging in my living room, enjoying each other's company. I missed them. It has been quite some time since I've seen these guys and I was very happy, even if it was only a dream. Suddenly, mid conversation, everything froze. At first I was confused, trying to slap one of my friends to see if they were just messing with me. Then the colors started to fade, rather quickly might I add. I stood up and whirled my head all around the room, only seeing something like this in a certain show and only when a certain character was involved.

In an instant my dream became lucid. I clapped my hands and the scene changed from my living room to an open field underneath a starry night sky. I was hoping that the change of location would also get rid of the lack of color, everything remained grey. I shook my head, trying to push myself out of whatever trap I was laid in, but it was no use. I couldn't even wake up.

"Sorry kid, we need to talk first." I heard a voice say from behind me. I pivoted to my left so I could see who was talking to me. It was a man, he was shorter than I was, wearing a plain red flannel along with plain blue jeans. On his face there was a scruffy goatee matching the color of his hazelnut hair. _It couldn't be. _He tried to step closer, but since this was the mindscape, _my _mindscape, I ignited my hand with a ball of flame making him stop. "Calm down." He said. "I'm a friend, I promise."

"So, are you appearing as Alex Hirsch to bring my guard down?" I asked and he shook his head in response. "Do you seriously expect me to think that you aren't Bill Cipher?" Alex didn't look amused by my statement.

He snapped and a chair appeared behind him so he could sit down. "I'm not that monstrosity. I am the god of this world, its creator." He said to me leaning back in his chair. "Bill hasn't been summoned to Gravity Falls ever since Stanford fell into the portal, but he will return." He was right. The demon did say that it was good to be back after Gideon summoned him, implying that he had been gone for quite some time.

"Are you actually-"

"Alex Hirsch?" He finished my sentence with a smirk. "No. He and I are two different entities, however, I guess you could say that man is your dimension's version of me. I created this world and he made a television show mirroring the events taking place in Gravity Falls into your world. Perhaps in a way we are connected."

"So Gravity Falls is more than just a show?" I asked, making Alex laugh.

"You're here aren't you?" He exclaimed with outstretched arms in my direction. "I need your help, I am unable to interfere directly with the events that take place in the world I created. I need somebody from another dimension to work with me.

"_You're _the one that brought me here?" I asked, completely taken aback when he nodded. "WHY?!"

"Jeez, calm down, the fate of reality is at stake. Besides, it's not like you're not enjoying yourself," Alex justified. It was true, I have been having a lot of fun in the short time I've been here.

I rolled my eyes and gave a quick nod. "Yeah, you're right," I said quietly. "Why do you need me? There better be a good reason for you taking me away from my family and friends!"

He made a calming gesture with one of his hands. "As I'm sure you know, Bill Cipher is an omnipotent being, constantly threatening this world," Alex explained. "Just before his destruction in the future, he invoked the Axolotl."

"A different form, a different time."

"Exactly. Bill, the one in the present, now knows how he will be defeated in Stanley's mind. You're here to make sure that he dies."

I looked at him like he was insane. Bill Cipher is literally a god, able to change anything he wants to his whim with no effort. He is a being of pure energy and no weakness. And I'm a kid.

"How am I gonna do that?!" I exclaimed. "I'm a teenager, I don't have any special powers!"

"Perhaps," Alex said with a small chuckle. "But, he doesn't know anything about you. Use that to your advantage."

"But why me?" I asked. There are thousands of people who would love to be in this situation. "Why did you choose me?"

Alex smirked at me, "I guess we'll find out."

I woke up. The weird stone that I had taken from the gift shop was now in my hands. I sat up and looked at the twins sleeping forms and then back to the stone in my grasp and let out a quiet sigh. "Can I ever catch a break?" I asked myself while setting the stone back on the nightstand above me. This was a matter that I would think about in the morning…

"I'm afraid your service won't be required here, sir," A voice from the tv said. It was now late in the morning and the twins and I were watching Duck-tective. Mabel was knitting a new sweater while Dipper was hounding down a large popcorn bowl courtesy of Stan's horrible parental habits. I was sitting on the couch and the twins sat near my feet on the floor. Mabel tried to grab a handful of popcorn, but Dipper swatted her hand away without taking his eyes off the screen. It had been a cold morning, so I decided to wear the sweatshirt that Soos gave me. Mabel had stuck true to her word and sewed the torn fabric back together. For whatever reason, she only had yellow fabric at the time and she decided to fix the hole with a patch resembling my first initial, 'M.'

"My men have examined the evidence and this is obviously an accident," The constable stated. I could see why the twins enjoyed this show, the duck's lines were witty and fun and the constable always said his lines with such emphasis and expertise. In this episode, the constable was briefing Duck-tective about a man who had died in a telephone booth.

'Accident, constable?' The duck quacked as his subtitles showed up on the screen. 'Or is it…' The camera zoomed in on the duck's face. 'Murder?!'

"WHAT?!" The constable yelled very dramatically as a duck foot appeared on the screen.

"Duck-tective, will return after these messages," The announcer stated as the show cut to commercial break.

Mabel dropped her knitting needles and grabbed her face in admiration. "That duck is a genius," She stated with wonder in her eyes.

"Eh," Dipper started, crossing his arms across his chest. "It's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground."

Mabel didn't look impressed. "Are you saying that you could outwit Duck-tective?" Mabel asked, putting her hands on both of her hips while squinting at her brother.

"Don't forget," I said, grabbing Mabel's attention and gestured between Dipper and I, "We were the ones that figured out the Gobblewonker was actually a Mommawonker."

Dipper craned his head to look up at me. "Nah, that was mostly you," He replied, in a surprisingly humble way.

"Even better!" I said leaning down, pushing his cap over his eyes and looking at his sister. "_I_ was the one that figured out that she was a Mommawonker."

Dipper gave a quick laugh as he fixed his hat. "Plus, Mabel, I have very keen powers of observation," He stated while leaning closer to his sister. "For example, just by smelling your breath I can tell that you have been eating…" Dipper paused and sniffed the air. "An entire tube of toothpaste?"

Mabel faced away from the both of us out of embarrassment. "It was so sparkly," She said rubbing her hand.

"Well I can't blame you then," I said, lifting her spirits.

"Hey, Dudes!" Soos yelled as he barreled into the room. "You'll never guess what I found!"

"Buried treasure!" I exclaimed before either of the twins had a chance to respond. Dipper looked back at me, that was what he was going to say. "Sorry, my keen senses of observation got a little out of hand there." Dipper gave a smile and rolled his eyes at my mockery.

Soos led us out of the room and down the hall, broom in hand. "So I was cleaning up when I found this secret door hidden behind the wallpaper," He explained, walking up to the door. "It's crazy-bonkers-creepy." Soos pushed open the door, tearing some cobwebs and revealed the collection of wax figures.

Dipper stepped inside the dark room and pulled a flashlight out of literaly nowhere. "Whoa!" He exclaimed. "It's a secret wax museum."

I spotted Stan across the room in the shadows and decided that it would be best if I made his presence known. "Goodmorning, Stan," I said and Dipper shined the light on his grunkle, Soos and Mabel looked over as well.

"Hello!" Stan yelled making everyone but me jump back.

"AHH! DUDE, IT'S ALIVE!" Soos screamed as he dropped his broomstick and ran out of the room with the twins in tow.

"MATT!" Mabel yelled as she ran out of the room. "SAVE YOURSELF!"

I just rolled my eyes. "He's not that terrifying," I said with a sigh looking back at Stan and then visually grimacing. "On second thought, maybe they're right."

A few minutes later, I had recollected the twins and Soos and brought them back into the room. Soos was in the kitchen eating out of pure panic, Dipper was hiding behind the couch flipping frantically through the journal and Mabel was next to her brother ready to strike with her previously discarded sewing needles. The lights were turned on now making the room slightly less creepy.

_Slightly. _

"Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum," Stan stated proudly once everyone had calmed down. "It was one of our most popular attractions!" He then started to rub the back of his neck and added, "Before I forgot all about it."

I crossed my arms and shook my head. "Stan, there is something wrong with you," I said, avoiding eye contact with any of the cursed wax figures. Stan just ignored me.

"I got 'em all-Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes," He listed while walking down the long line of figures. He then paused before a representation of Larry King. "Some kind of, I don't know, Goblin Man."

"Is anyone else getting the creeps here?" Dipper asked on edge.

Stan must have not put in his hearing aid yet because he ignored his nephew as well. "And now for my personal favorite," Stan extravagantly held his arms out gesturing to a puddle of wax, "Wax John Wilkes Booth, right over-" He then noticed that the statue was melted. "Oh, No! Come on! Who left the blinds open?!" His gaze quickly flew over to another statue. "Wax Abraham Lincoln, I'm blaming you pal!" He then bent down to the wax puddle at his foot, "Actually I can't say I blame him though, 'Honest Abe' had to get his hands dirty for some old fashioned revenge. I can respect that." _This is just great! Things are already going different, _I thought with a roll of my eyes. Stan then stuck his hand in the wax. "How do you even fix a wax figure?"

Mabel spotted the distressed look on her grunkle's face. "Cheer up Grunkle Stan," She said while leaning on him. "Where's that smile?" Mabel then aggressively poked his face. "Beep bop boop."

"Ow."

"Don't worry, Grunkle Stan," Mabel said once he stood up. "I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax."

"You really think you could make one of these puppies?" He asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Fifty bucks says she can!" I yelled from across the room.

"Ha! I like those odds!" Stan exclaimed pointing at me.

"Don't doubt me Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts and crafts master," Mabel said confidently with her arms folded behind her back. "Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm?" She asked as she presented her right arm, shaking it wildly.

"I like your gumption, kid," Stan stated while admiringly pointing at his niece.

"I don't know what that word means, but thank you."

Within the hour, we had moved all the wax to Stan's parlor along with some extra that Stan had lying around for some reason. I'm not going to ask questions, all I know is that the wax figure of Queen Elizabeth went missing and then suddenly Stan comes in with some extra wax. Like I said, I'm not gonna ask any questions.

Mabel was wearing a smock over her sweater and a beret on her head while standing on a small stepping stool. I had just finished bringing all the tools she needed when Dipper walked in. He was taking a swig of Pit Cola from a can when Mabel suddenly jumped at him, startling the poor kid and making him cough up and drop his drink.

"Dipper! What do you think of my wax figure idea?" She asked while pointing to a pad that she had been sketching on. "She's part fairy princess, and part _horse_ fairy princess." He locked eyes with me and I just shrugged.

"Maybe you should carve something from real life," Dipper suggested.

"I don't know, man," I said, grabbing his attention. "What if that _is _a real thing." _Seriously though, what if it is. _

"Nah, Dipper's right, it's a little over the top," Mabel admitted. "What about this?" She asked, drawing another sketch on her pad on a different sheet of paper. "A waffle with big arms!" She exclaimed, showing us her drawing.

I could tell Dipper was close to giving up on this matter. "Ya-okay, or, ya know, something else, like someone in your family," Dipper said, gesturing between the three of us.

"Kids!" Stan yelled as he entered the room, wearing his suit jacket and fez but no pants. "Have you seen my pants?" He asked, propping one foot up on a box and bringing one hand over his eyes to channel his sight. Not gonna lie, I heard heavenly music in my head when I looked at him.

Mabel's eyes dilated and bit her lip in excitement. "Oh muse, you work in mysterious ways," she said looking at the ceiling, making Dipper stare disappointingly at his sister.

"Why is your sister talking to the ceiling?" Stan asked his nephew.

"I'm not sure," I answered. "But I do know that you should get ready to pay up when I win this bet!"

"Yeah right," Stan scoffed as he walked out of the room in search of his pants with Dipper close behind.

"Let's show 'em what you got Mabes." I said giving her a thumbs up, she reciprocated the action with a smile. I handed her a pair of goggles from the supplies box that I had brought for her and Mabel strapped it tightly to her face while I turned on a boombox that Soos lended us to keep her hyped up while she worked. Mabel wasted no time, she took a hammer and started chiseling away at the block of wax. It was evident that she really was an arts and crafts master. Mabel managed to sculpt the figure in four hours and it took her another hour to add a layer of paint.

Soos, Wendy and Dipper brought in a bucket of glitter while Mabel inspected her almost completed creation. "I think it needs more glitter," She speculated with squinted eyes.

"Agreed," Soos said, handing her the bucket. Mabel splashed the figure with the entirety of the bucket's glitter without any hesitation.

Stan now walked in looking down at his feet. "I found my pants, but now I'm missing my-" Stan let out a terrified yell and fell to the floor.

"What do you think?" Mabel asked her collapsed great uncle hopefully.

"I _think_… The wax museum's back in business!" Stan cheered, still on the floor. I cleared my throat loudly and brought an open palm down towards Stan, making his face fall. With a sigh, he reluctantly pulled out some money. I counted the bills to make sure it was the correct amount, it was Stan after all, and I was pleasantly surprised that it was real money and the correct amount. Wendy gave me a high five for my victory.

"Scammer gets scammed, sucka!" She yelled in her boss's face.

"Wait hold on," I said looking at Stan, "Did it seriously take you five _hours _to find your pants?"

He didn't make eye contact and responded with, "I don't know how to answer that." Stan hastily retreated out of the room and down to his office with us trialing close behind. My eyes widened once I saw what Stan was standing next to.

"I'm not sure if this old girl is going to be able to work after this." He said while patting an old and dusty copier machine. "But we need to copy flyers for this reopening, it's a necessary comprimise." Stan pulled out a flyer that he must have made while he was searching for his pants, either that or he just had it lying around. He placed the paper on top of the machine. The twins, Soos and Wendy looked skeptically at the copier while I held my breath, this was an accident waiting to happen.

Stan pushed a button and a green light swept slowly over the paper and a few seconds later, a perfect copy was printed out of the side of the machine and rested harmlessly on an extended trey protruding out of the machine. Then another, and another, and another until thick smoke sputtered out of the copier for a moment. I let out a sigh of relief, _good I don't have to worry about this machine right now. _

"Well this will have to do," Stan stated, taking the flyer copies out of their trey. "Matt and Soos, you guys go into town and put these up." He handed Soos the pile of papers and I grabbed a stapler that was resting on Stan's desk.

"You got it Mr. Pines!" Soos exclaimed while giving his boss a salute. He waved his hand in my direction. "Let's get going, dude!"

As we exited the room, I heard Stan call from behind us, "Make sure people will actually see them Soos!"

"Mr. Pines has such a good sense of humor," Soos laughed light heartedly. I laughed as well, knowing that there must have been a reason for Stan to point out something so obvious.

Soos held the front door open for me as he pulled the keys of his pickup truck out of his pocket. With a quick beep, the truck's doors were unlocked and I stepped inside and sat down on the slightly ripped leather seats. Once I slammed the passenger door shut, the scent of pizza and pit cola forcefully invaded my nostrils. Surprisingly, it wasn't a terrible aroma, in fact, I would expect nothing less from good old Soos. He must be too busy with work at the Mystery Shack to ever really give his car a good cleaning, or at least that's what I hoped. Soos wordlessly entered the car and took his rightful seat behind the steering wheel while handing the flyers to me. I set them carefully in my lap and Soos started the truck's engine and pulled us out of the shack's parking lot.

We rode in a comfortable silence, the radio softly playing some music through the car. It was a song that I have never heard before, but I couldn't help but tap my foot lightly against the floor as we made the rough transition from dirt to asphalt. Soos pushed his foot down on the gas pedal a little harder now that we were on nice even terrain and rolled down his window slightly to get a bit of a breeze inside the cabin to combat the hot summer air. The handyman took a deep breath through his nose, rejoicing the cool sensation that swept through his body.

"It's a beautiful day isn't it Matt?" Soos asked as he exhaled, eyes watching the road with discipline.

I nodded in agreement. "It sure is," I confirmed with a quick gaze out the passenger window, taking in the lush green of the sturdy pine trees that lined the side of the road. _It's a shame that we have to waste it with the reopening of the Wax Museum. _

"How are you liking the Shack so far, dude?" Soos asked, trying to spark a conversation. I smiled as I looked out the windshield once more.

"It's great, man. Much better than I thought it would be," I responded. "Too bad we actually have to be doing work," I added while patting the flyers against my lap to straighten them out.

"Well, you'll get used to it eventually," Soos replied with a small chuckle. "There will be time to go hunt monsters or whatever it is you and the twins do. Speaking of, any idea when the photo competition results are going to come in?"

"They are announcing the winners tonight actually," I answered, running my right hand through my hair. "As crazy as it sounds, I think we might actually have a chance of winning. Stan got some pretty good pictures while the rest of us were panicking."

"We totally were, dude!" Soos exclaimed, making us both break out into laughter. During the Gobblewonker adventure, Stan had captured many pictures that were definitely contest worthy. Most of them were photos of the monster chasing us while we were on Soos's boat, but he had gotten one of me when the Gobblewonker had me in its grasp. The twins found the picture funny because of the distressed look on my face while I found that it served as a constant reminder that you can never be too careful. Especially in Gravity Falls.

My laughter slowly subsided as my eyes set on the Tent of Telepathy. I cleared my throat. "What is that tent thing over there?" I asked, pointing to it.

"Oh, that's the Tent of Telepathy," Soos replied. "I've never been but Mr. Pines says the person who runs it is an evil mastermind. He also kinda forbade me from going inside."

"So what is he, competition?" I asked and Soos nodded. I gave the tent another look. "I think we may have found our first stop then, Soos," I said with a mischievous tone.

"I like your thinking, dude!" Soos exclaimed as he turned into the tent's parking lot. "Perfect loophole too. Mr. Pines said I couldn't go, but he never said anything about you, dude!"

We had to be quick, in and out, and not raise much suspicion. Soos kept the truck running as I stepped out with five flyers and the stapler. I quickly made my way to the entrance of the tent where two white pillars held open the tent flaps so tourists could enter. Luckily there was no one there due to the lack of a show. Perfect. I stapled two papers onto one of the pillars and then quickly did the same for the other one. Since I had one left, I decided that the best place to put it was right over the schedule for show times. People entering the tent would more than likely see the flyers that I had planted.

Satisfied with my work, I turned away and began to retreat back to the truck. However, something caught my eye. Something that was short, had white hair and a pig nose. Gideon was staring at me through the window of his house just across the lot. I stopped moving back to the truck and looked back. I could tell that he was immediately suspicious of me as soon as we locked eyes, his stare was cold and dark. I'm sure pretty much everyone in town knew who this kid was, giving him very manipulative power, a power that no doubt got to his head. He probably thought that I was one of his "Sheep," and that I would crack under the weight of his presence. No way was I gonna let him force me into silent submission.

I smirked at him and while his expression had not changed, I could tell that he was surprised by my action. Next, I squinted my eyes at him and gave him a mock salute. As soon as I at-eased, I continued making my way back to Soos's truck. Gideon did not like this. How could I tell? Well, my body suddenly turned icy cold, just like the little runt's stare. He was trying to give me a scare with the amulet, trying to show that he was not one to be messed with...

Too bad I was still gonna mess with him.

Once again, I stopped and turned to face the window. Slowly and methodically, I shook my head at him, with a somewhat serious look. I continued moving back to the truck and made sure that I was moving at a speed that was no faster than a walk, showing that I wasn't afraid of him. I know I said that you could never be too careful, but come on! When am I ever going to get another chance to actually mess with this guy!

I opened the passenger door and ducked into the truck's cabin. "Gun it!" I exclaimed as soon as I sat down. Soos, being the perfect employee that he was, immediately complied and within seconds we were back out on the road. Just because I'm not afraid of Gideon doesn't mean that I didn't want to get out of there. He's still a total creep.

"Dude," Soos began, "You totally beat that kid in that staring contest."

"I sure did, Soos," I responded with a small but slightly nervous chuckle. _Yup, we were totally having a staring contest, big guy. _ I looked over the flyers that were remaining and winced. "Uh Soos?"

"Yeah dude?" He responded with a side glance. I held the fyler out to him so he could read it and he smiled broadly. "We're gonna get free pizza! Oh, dude! I am so down!"

I shook my head while rereading the flyer. How could I be so stupid? "It says that people are going to get free pizza when they buy a ticket." The flyer was primarily dominated by a pizza with eyes and Stan's fez on top of its "head." I don't know how I didn't remember this, especially after the comotion it caused in the show. Maybe I was a little more on edge than I had thought while I was at the tent. "It is a smart scam, though. People will go to anything when there's pizza involved."

"Heh-heh, that's true," Soos chuckled. "People will come to this reopening for sure."

"Yeah but there's just one problem," I said while setting the flyers aside. "We don't have any pizza. Did you see any at the Shack, because I didn't. Plus, I don't think Stan is going to go out of his way to go get some, he's got his work cut out for him."

"Huh, I guess you've got a point there. Should we like, go get some?" Soos suggested.

"I mean, probably," I replied, slightly tilting my head. Why was I even bothering? The lack of pizza didn't casue the murder of Wax Stan so there would be no real reason to go and out and get free pizza for the people attending. I started running my hand through my hair repeatedly absentmindedly. _Actually, the twins went on a wild goose chase thinking that he murder happened __**becasue**_ _of the lack pizza. If the pizza issue is taken out of account, then we can get right onto the wax figure's trail, not to mention it would be good for the Shack's reputation. _

"You okay, dude?" Soos asked with worry. "Is your amnesia acting up, dude? Do you need me to pull over?" I smiled at his concern, almost laughing because clearly he had no idea how amnesia worked.

"Nah man. Nothing like that," I responded, taking my hand out of my now slightly messy hair. "I was just thinking about how much pizza we're gonna need to get for this event." I had almost forgotten that he knew about my "amnesia" since he had never brought it up. I guess he could keep a secret after all.

"Well, Mr. Pines is probably gonna want us two dudes back at the Shack to finish setting up. What if I drop you off at a pizzeria and I'll go finish setting up all the flyers," Soos suggested. "I do know where all the popular places in town are after all."

"Alright," I nodded, "We can try that." _Soos can do this on his own… right? _

"Okay, the Pizza place is just down the road. Do you need any cash?" Soos asked, taking one hand off the steering wheel and into his pocket for his wallet.

"No I'm good, I'll just use the money that Stan gave me when he lost that bet," I said while shaking my head.

"You sure, dude?" Soos asked once more.

"I'm positive, man!" I said as I gave him a light punch on the shoulder so he would take his hand out of his pocket. "Besides, you already helped me out a ton with the whole clothes situation on my first day here. I don't need to be taking more money from you."

"Suit yourself," Soos said with a chuckle while turning on his blinker, indicating not only that we were turning right, but that we had reached our destination.

"'Tony's Pizza,'" I read aloud, looking at the bright red sign above the building. "Isn't that a bit cliche?"

"Hey, say what you want about the name, but it's the best pizzeria in Gravity falls," Soos said proudly with a slap of the steering wheel for emphasis.

"Is that because this is the only pizzeria in Gravity Falls?" I asked with an arched eyebrow. Soos was quiet and his expression fell.

"Well there is Hoo-Ha Owl's but that really isn't a pizza place, and their pizza is mostly grease," Soos explained, making me shiver.

"I'll take your word for it, dude," I said while stepping out of the car. "I doubt I'll be more than half an hour, so try to be back before then."

"You got it, dude," Soos replied while shifting his truck back into drive. "I'll see you soon." And with that, he was back on the main road and out of sight. I stepped away from the curb and walked up to the clear glass door just as a mother holding a pizza box with her kid was exiting the building. I held the door open for them as they walked out and the mother gave me a quick thank you while the kid was chanting "Pizza!" "Pizza! "Pizza!" The man behind the register saw this and was very quick to walk over to the counter and give me service. I guess good karma exists after all. He was a short man with greying hair and a round belly under his white grease stained apron.

"Welcome young man, I don't think I have ever seen you around before," The man started."Are you one of the Corduroy boys?" _Is Gravity Falls really small enough to the point when anyone sees a redhead they think it's a Corduroy? Wait, what am I thinking… Of course it is!_

"No actually," I answered politely, "I'm new in town." The man showed a look of surprise and I couldn't blame him. It's not everyday that someone moves to a small town like this.

"Well where are my manners!" The man exclaimed. "The name's Tony and welcome to the best pizzeria in Gravity Falls!" _Ya don't say? _

"Nice to meet you Tony," I said while extending my hand to him, which he gave a firm shake. "My name's Matt." I took a glance at the menu just above my head. "How much for five large cheese pies?" Tony typed into the register for a moment.

"Exactly fifty dollars, son," He replied. "Are you sure you're that hungry?"

"What can I say," I shrugged, "I'm a big dude." This made Tony burst out into laughter, making some people that were eating give us a stare. _It wasn't that funny, _I thought with a smile.

"Will that be all?" He asked, his hand hovering over the confirm button on the register.

"Actually make that six pies," I responded after a moment of brief thought. "That should be it." Tony hit confirm and the total was sixty dollars, either there is no sales tax in Oregon or the people of Gravity Falls are much stupider than I thought. Hopefully it was the former. I handed him the money that Stan had given me along with ten extra dollars

"I already have two cheese pies ready," Tony said, "It will take probably another fifteen minutes for the others to come out. Are you in a rush?" I shook my head. "In that case, take a seat in any of the booths," He said while gesturing with his hand to an open seat. "Make yourself comfortable."

"Thank you, Tony," I said while taking my order's receipt from him. He gave me a nod and walked over to the stone brick ovens to continue his work. With a sigh, I sat in an open booth and rubbed my face with one hand. Now I was alone with my thoughts. I had been avoiding thinking about what I had been told in my dream last night, but can you blame me? I found out that I was forcefully taken away from my family and friends. I should feel something. I should be angry that I was essentially kidnapped, sad that I don't have anyone to talk to about this or even upset that I can't get home, but… I don't feel any of that.

Instead I feel something new, something that my normal life would have never given me: Excitement. Sure, back home I would be excited to go to do something fun, like go to the beach or go see a movie, but none of those things really _mattered. _Those things never contributed to the greater scheme of my life. Yeah they made memories, but it's hard to focus on those good times when the constant pressure of reality is swirling around you. In Gravity Falls, not only do I have an apparent goal to destroy Bill Cipher, but I am enjoying being here. Back home, responsibility and fun never mixed, but here they are mixed together in the perfect blend.

This is quite literally a dream come true. Not just me being in Gravity Falls but me actually having a plan set out for me to do something meaningful. I actually feel important, and if what Alex told me was true, about Cipher not knowing anything about me, dare I say I feel confident. Bill's greatest power, in my opinion, is his ability to know everything about his opponent instantly. He would be able to appeal to their insecurities or fan their ego with fake compliments and flattery, making his target feel like they were in the presence of a friend. However, since Bill apparently hardly knows anything about me, it gives me a huge leg up on him.

But is any of that even true? This could be Bill's plan to bring my guard down and easily have me… "dealt with." But if that's the case why would I even be brought into this dimension? Nobody here knows about his plan, why would he risk it all just to bring me here? It doesn't make sense. Besides, I don't think it's even possible for Bill to use his powers outside of the Nightmare Realm currently so he couldn't have brought me here. With that in mind, Alex is probably telling the truth. I know I wouldn't want an equilateral monstrosity wreaking havoc on the world that I made.

But why me?

Why did he choose me? Why do I have to be the one that makes this huge difference? I don't know what the answer is. There are so many factors, so many possibilities as to why he chose me. I love these characters, I know and understand the story perfectly, I can be good with kids… but so many other people are too! What made me so special?

"What's up, man?" A voice asked, breaking me free of my thoughts. "I didn't mean to scare you, I'm only trying to sit down." I looked up, it was Wendy.

"Oh, hey Wendy," I said while sitting myself up.

"You all good, dude?" She asked as she plopped herself down into the booth across from me. "If you're able to zone out like that in a place like this there's gotta be something up." I shook my head.

"Nothing's wrong," I lied. "It's kinda hard to keep yourself occupied while waiting for food." I glanced at a clock to see how much time was left until my order was done, there were a couple of minutes left. "What are you doing here anyway? Don't you have to be at the Shack getting ready for the reopening of Stan cursed wax figures?" Of course she thought that was a joke and laughed.

"They are really creepy," She responded. "I'm on break right now so I decided to come get some late lunch and then I bumped into you." A bell rang and I thought it was my order, but it was actually the front door opening. "Shouldn't _you_ be back at the Shack?" Wendy challenged.

"Actually," I said smugly, "I'm on an errand with Soos. We're trying to help out Stan because-"

"Excuse me," Another voice said. _Oh you have got to be kidding me, why is she even here? _I didn't need to turn my head to see who it was like Wendy did, I already knew exactly who it was. "This filthy establishment is full and has no booths left. I am expecting you to leave so me and my friends can sit."

"You sure you want to do that Northwest? These seats are all ripped and greasy, not up to the quality that a prestigious elitist such as yourself should settle for," I said resting my chin on my hand so she couldn't see my smile. Wendy slowly turned her head back to me with wide eyes. 'What are you doing,' She mouthed.

"Don't talk back to me like that! Do you know who you're speaking to?" Pacifica Northwest yelled, with her eye twitching. "If you don't move right now I'll-"

"Sue me?" I asked, cutting her off and looking at her now. "For what? Because I won't stand up and move for your convenience? I'm sure that'll go over well with mom and dad, especially while trying to get service in a place that I guarantee they disapprove of." I set my voice into a slightly higher pitch and continued, "Little Paciifca would get in so much trouble if mommy and daddy found out that you were amongst commoners, wouldn't she?" Wendy wasn't the only one staring at me. Multiple patrons in the pizzaria were now paying close attention to our conversation, I even smiled at a couple of them. "Besides, you don't even know my name," I concluded in my normal voice. Now, don't get me wrong, Pacifica is a great character, one of my favorites in fact, but this is Pacifica with her mask up... she needs to learn some humility. I turned back to look at Wendy, her eyes were even wider than before. I heard Tony clear his throat from behind the counter.

"Um, Matt, your order is ready," He called.

"Now if you'll excuse me," I said while standing up, revealing my full height to Pacifica and her posse, "I have to go and pick up my food." The girl that was voiced by Ariel Hirsh quickly moved out of my way, allowing me to make my way over to the counter and the six pizza pies that were waiting for me. As I walked away, all eyes were now on Pacifica. With a few quick glances around her surroundings, she noticed the attention that would usually be welcome.

"What are you all staring at!" She yelled, making every single one of them flinch and go back to their business. "I knew we shouldn't have come here," She huffed walking over to the door. "Let's go." Pacifica led her posse out of the pizzeria that was now completely silent. I grabbed hold of my pizza boxes but Tony placed a hand on top of them so I couldn't move them.

"Just to be clear," He started, "You _do_ know who that was, right?"

"Yes sir I do," I responded with a smile. He nodded quietly and took his hand off of the boxes. I heard a car outside and just as I had hoped, it was Soos. "Hey Wendy!" I called. "Do you want a ride back to the Shack? Soos is right outside." She quickly and wordlessly stood up, wanting to leave the shocked atmosphere as soon as she could. We both walked out of the restaurant and once we were outside she punched my shoulder, almost making me lose my grip on the boxes.

"Hey!" I cried. "Watch the pizza!"

"Are you crazy! What were you thinking! That wasn't how someone with amnesia would act, dude!" She exclaimed and my face fell. She was right. I know that I told her very subtlety that I didn't have any memory loss, but I didn't tell all of those people watching. If Soos or Stan found out about this, I would be in trouble. I had thought that she was shocked at me because of the way I was talking to a Northwest, but it turns out I was wrong. "I get that you aren't from around here or whatever, but you should know that news travels fast," She said putting her hand on the passenger door handle. "Try to be more careful." Her demeanor changed instantly once she opened the door. "Soos, my homie!"

"'Sup Wendy!" Soos greeted happily. "You need a ride back to the Shack?"

"You know I do!" She replied, sitting next to him and buckling her seatbelt. I rested the pizza boxes on my knee that I propped up against the door so I could hold the handle to the backseat. I slightly pulled it open and then used my foot to fully swing open the door, muttering to myself that no one was helping me.

"Yo Soos," Wendy started once me and the pizza were secure in the back, "What errand were you and Matt on." She then looked at me through the mirror above the windshield. "Matt was going to tell me but he had to go pick up this large pizza order." I silently thanked her as the truck backed out to the main road.

"Well, Mr. Pines wanted us to put up some flyers for the reopening. Matt noticed that the flyer said that there would be free pizza for those that attend, but we didn't have pizza. To be safe on time, we decided to split up. Matt got the pizza while I put up the rest of the flyers." Wendy nodded in understanding and then looked back at me.

"Do you think that six pies are really going to cover for an entire event?" She asked me with a raised eyebrow.

"Actually, I'm reserving one of the pies for us so it's only going to be five," I informed her. "If we need more that's Stan's problem, not mine." Wendy's eyes lit up.

"Sweet!" She exclaimed. "I'm so hungry, I never got a chance to eat." Wendy looked at me through the mirror once more, making me look away out of embarrassment while Soos just kept his oblivious eyes on the road. "Can I have some right now?" She asked and Soos nodded.

"There are napkins in the glove compartment. Help yourself, dude," He responded cheerfully. I opened the top box and handed her the biggest slice of pizza as a sign of gratitude for keeping my secret. Whether she noticed or not I'll never know because she instantly started hounding it down as soon as she had it in her control.

I cleared my throat. "Did you put up the rest of the fliers without any trouble, Soos?" I asked him.

"Oh yeah, dude. Everything was fine," He replied with a quick glance. "I stapled myself twice and forgot to put my car in park a couple times, but aside from that everything went off without a hitch." Wendy and I exchanged a quick look in the mirror and luckily she was the one to respond. I couldn't find any words for what I heard.

"Good job, Soos!" Wendy exclaimed, making Soos beam.

"Thanks, dude!"

The rest of the ride back to the Shack was relatively quiet with the occasional thought of how this reopening was going to go. There wasn't time for a full on conversation though as it was only a couple minute ride back to the Shack. Once we arrived, I saw Manly Dan putting up a banner over the dirt path leading to the Mystery Shack. It displayed 'Wax Museum of Mystery Grand Re-opening!' in red letters with a yellow backdrop.

"These people are going to be so disappointed with how this turned out," I said once we parked. "Mabel's art skills are really good but I don't think that it warrants a reopening of an entire exhibit."

"You know Stan," Wendy replied. "He sees talent and he exploits it for as much money as he can." I snickered in response as we exited the truck. Stan was outside by the gift shop entrance which he had transformed into a podium for the ceremony. At the moment he was yelling at Dipper who was having trouble moving the wax figure of Larry King out onto the stage. I quickly ran over to the two of them. _Dipper is probably getting traumatized by the task. _

"Do you need any help with that, Dipper?" I asked once I was up on the podium. He gave me a grateful look but before he could speak, Stan cut him off.

"You!" He yelled, pointing at me which made me raise an eyebrow. "Where have you been?"

"Out with Soos," I responded in a confused voice, "doing exactly what you asked me to do." I crossed my arms now, not backing away from the old man. "We even got pizza that was mentioned on the flyer," I said gesturing to one that was hung up next to me. I tore it from its place and held it up to Stan's face so he could clearly see it and continued, "It doesn't even say what the event is. It just says 'Free Pizza with admission to the grand unveiling at the Mystery Shack.'" I shook my head and brought the paper down to my side. "This isn't a very good flyer, Stan."

"Okay, first, what are you talking about?!" Stan exclaimed. "It says free pizza on it! That's sure to attract attention. Second, I didn't even make these flyers for this event." I sighed and facepalmed at this revelation. _Of course he didn't. _"I just reuse the same thing whenever there is a new attraction at the Shack to grab people's attention. You _can't _say that this doesn't work," He concluded and I walked up to Dipper to help him, I couldn't handle that conversation any longer. I was losing brain cells talking about this subject, the flyer didn't even have a time or a date for the so-called unveiling. That's _crucial _information!

"Whatever," I said dismissing the conversation. "I'll just help Dipstick with these wax figures." Stan walked away and currently, Dipper was looking at the figure of Larry King very nervously.

"So, how do we move these things without making it… Awkward?" I asked and he just shrugged in response.

"What do you think I've been trying to figure out?"

The next half hour was uncomfortable… To say the least. While Soos got to set up the chairs and Wendy had to get the admissions stand up and running, Dipper and I had to move the rest of the wax figures outside and onto the stage. The mere fact that they were alive, made this task five times worse. It wasn't a physically difficult challenge, but a mental one, at least for me. By the time we were done, Dipper was in a cold sweat either because he was exhausted or because he was terrified. Both of us were sprawled out on the podium breathing rather quickly, trying not to think that we will have to do the same thing once the event was over. I slowly sat up and noticed the pizza had been set up with one of the boxes open.

"Let's go get some pizza ," I said while nudging his arm. "I think we've earned it." He nodded in agreement and we both slowly stood up and walked over to the foldable table that the food was placed on. I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast this morning and was glad to finally have a chance to eat. I did have the opportunity to eat lunch when Mabel was working on Wax Stan, but I insisted on staying at her side, helping wherever I could. Boy did I regret that decision, especially now.

When we both laid our eyes on the contents in the pizza box, we both frowned. There was only one slice left. Dipper and I glanced at one another and then back to the final slice that was resting in arms reach. I wanted to snag it, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Dipper noticed my expression and I could tell that we were in the same boat.

"You wanna Rock Paper Scissors for it?" He offered and I just shook my head.

"Nah, you can take it," I decided with a sigh.

"Are you sure?" Dipper asked and I nodded, but quickly after, my body betrayed me. A loud growl escaped my stomach making us both laugh. "We'll split it then," He concluded with a smile.

"I can live with that," I said with another nod and I started to reach for it. However before I could grab it, Mabel walked up.

"Oo, pizza!" She exclaimed, not even acknowledging her brother and I. We could only watch as she shoveled the entire slice into her mouth in one go. She stopped chewing and looked at both of us. "What?" She asked with her mouth full, questioning our helpless and distressed faces. We didn't respond, not with words at least. Dipper slammed his head onto the table out of frustration while I let out a loud groan. I glanced at the unopened boxes of pizza. _Screw it. I_ was the one who bought them after all and _I_ can eat it if I want to. Dipper must have read my mind because as soon as I had opened the box, he took a slice and shoved it into his mouth. I wasn't far behind him and Mabel just slowly backed away from the situation.

Within the next hour people, surprisingly, started to show up for the wax museum re-opening. There really mustn't be that much to do in this town. They didn't even know what they were getting themselves into, and let me just say the tourists' faces were priceless once their eyes laid upon the banner that Manly Dan put up. Stan was center stage with a microphone and Mabel stood excitedly next to him while Soos was behind his keyboard. He was way too excited to be there. Dipper and Wendy were handling the ticket booth together and I felt really out of place. I had changed into my question mark t-shirt to try and blend in but it didn't do much. I found myself standing next to Soos with my arms folded behind my back just as the reopening commenced.

Stan turned on the microphone that was on the stand that he had brought out. As he did so, a very loud feedback erupted through the speakers making the crowd flinch and cover their ears. Mr. Mystery himself now leaned against the stand and began speaking into the microphone. "You all know me, folks," He began, adjusting his suit collar, "Town doll and Mr. Mystery." Stan then held his hands out in front of him in a pushing motion. "Please, ladies! Control yourselves!" He exclaimed while wiggling his eyebrows in a way that only a foxy grunkle like himself could do. Wait, did I seriously just say that? I shook my head forcefully, playing it off like a bug had gotten in my ear and Stan continued speaking.

"As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements," He then leaned forward with a raised finger, "The likes of which the world has never known. But enough about me." He then stepped away from his stand and gripped a tarp that was covering something. "Behold… Me!" He exclaimed as he tore the tarp away revealing a glittering wax figure of Stan. Soos took his cue and played some 'Yeah!' notes on his keyboard. 'Ye-ah! Ye-Ye-Ye-Ye-Ye-ah!' I smiled at his fanfare while the crowd remained unimpressed. Stan stepped back to the microphone and handed it to his niece.

"And now a word from our own Mabelangelo," He exclaimed proudly.

"It's Mabel," Mabel said politely as she took the microphone, making me have to stifle a laugh. "Thank you for coming," She said in a raised voice while walking towards the bored audience. "I made this sculpture with my own two hands!" Mabel cried as she raised both hands into the air extravagantly. "It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids," She listed with an innocent smile. The whole crowd, now very alive, gagged and cringed. "Hehe, yeah," Mabel said with a giggle. "I will now take questions," She called. "You there." Mcgucket was prompted to stand up and he introduced himself.

"Old Man McGucket, local kook," He clarified as the tourists resumed their bored expressions. "Are the wax figures alive? And, follow up question, can I survive the wax man uprising?" This confused Mabel.

"Um… Yes! Next question," She exclaimed enthusiastically, while pointing to Toby Determined.

"Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper," He stated with fake confidence. "Do you _really _think this constitutes a wonder of the world?" I rolled my eyes. _Most certainly._

"Your Microphone's a turkey baster, Toby," Stan pointed out bluntly.

"It certainly is," Toby confirmed while examining it.

"Next question," Stan requested impatiently while pointing to Shandra Jimenez.

"Shandra Jimenez, a _real _reporter," She stated while eyeing Toby. "Your fliers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Is this true?" She then pulled out one of the fliers that Soos put up somewhere and this drove the crowd into many murmurs and side conversations about the subject.

Stan was hesitant to answer, so I answered for him. "Yes, it is true," I said in a raised voice over the crowd. "It's right over there," I presented with an outstretched finger. Within seconds, everyone was out of their seats and rushing over to the foldable tables that supported the pizza. I stepped over to Stan and whispered into his ear, "Go get the money from Wendy and Dipper before these people realize there isn't nearly enough pizza for everyone." Stan nodded in agreement and made a beeline to the cash sitting at the admissions box.

While her grunkle ran away, Mabel walked up to me. "I think that went well," She exclaimed happily, not even realizing that literally everyone was here for the pizza and not her masterpiece. I would never forgive myself if I told her though, she was too proud of herself.

"It sure did, kid," I confirmed while resting my hand on her shoulder. I gave a quick glance over to the crowd at the pizza table and noticed that it was almost all gone. Since I was the one who notified them of that tabel's location, I felt like I could be in a similar dangerous situation as Stan when it ran out. "You did a good job, Mabes. But if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and step inside."

Thankfully no one was outraged due to the small amount of pizza. Well… I can't exactly say that, so let me rephrase it. No one was outraged at _us_ due to the small amount of pizza. A couple fights broke out but once the pizza was gone, everyone filed out pretty quick. Now no one from the unveiling will be considered a suspect for the murder of Wax Stan... Hopefully. I could've wasted sixty dollars for nothing.

Once the coast was clear of any potential angry tourists, we began to pack everything up. Soos volunteered to bring the wax figures back into the Shack and I gave him a big hug of appreciation. Once he pulled away, I grabbed Dipper's arm and led him away before Soos had any second thoughts. The both of us were happy to put the chairs away in comparison to the job we had earlier.

Night had fallen by the time that we were all finished converting the Shack's exterior back to normal. Wendy had snuck away to return home towards the end of our work, I don't think Stan even noticed. It's either that or he's accustomed to Wendy's slacking at this point, both are incredibly likely possibilities. By the request of Stan, Soos had left his wax representation resting against the couch. After that order was fulfilled, Soos was given permission to go home.

Stan, the twins and I were now all standing in the den. Unfortunately for us, Stan was wearing his boxers and undershirt. "Hot pumpkin pie!" He exclaimed, knowing that he wasn't allowed to curse while the twins were around. "Look at all this cash!" Stan then ran his thumb against the crisp paper. "And I owe it all to one person," He continued, making Mabel's spirit rise hopefully. "This guy!" Stan exclaimed while gesturing to the wax figure of himself, making Mabel playfully punch her grunkle in the gut. "Ooh!" He cried and then ruffled his niece's hair. "Yeah, you too, ya little gremlin."

I smiled at Stan's affection… until his hand moved onto Mabel's face and he lightly pushed her away. "Now, you kids wash up," He stated. "We got another long day of fleecing rubes tomorrow." Dipper was behind his sister as they made their way over the stairs. I cleared my throat.

"Stan," I started, "They are announcing the winners of the photo contest at ten on T.V." I glanced at the digital clock above the screen, it was nine fifty-three.

"What, you wanna watch it or something?" Stan asked, making me roll my eyes.

"Yes, there is money on the line!" I exclaimed, trying to appeal to Stan's greedy nature. "Money, Stan!"

"Well that's too bad," He said, taking a seat on the couch next to his wax figure. _WHAT! _"Duck-Tective is on at the same time." _WHA-Okay that's reasonable. _

"Stan, they are announcing the winners just before the show starts," I stated matter-a-factly. I was the one that submitted the pictures, I knew what I was talking about. Stan's expression eased.

"Oh, well then sure," He replied as I sat on the dinosaur skull next to him. Stan grabbed the remote and flicked on the television, it was already on the correct channel. For the next few minutes, both of us were completely silent watching the end of an episode of 'Why You Ackin So Cray-Cray.' I let out a sigh of relief once the credits started to roll.

A man in his forties wearing a well tailored suit appeared on the screen. "Good evening everyone!" He said while holding a paper. "My name's Kevin and I am here to announce the winner of this month's Monster Photo Contest. We have had many entries and submissions and we would like to extend a big thank you to all who participated."

"Yeah-yeah," Stan said while waving his hand in the air. "Let's get to the money part." I smiled and stifled a laugh at his impationtness.

"But let's get to what all of you are really here for," Kevin said, now looking at the sheet of paper. "The winner of this month's photo contest is… The Pines family! Congratulations!" Stan's face lit up.

"Ha! Ya hear that kid?!" Stan exclaimed. "We won!" He gave me a high five and Kevin continued speaking.

"Your prize is already on the way and should arrive tomorrow morning," He said. "And with that, we now resume our normal programming," I know I said earlier to Soos that we had a good chance of winning, but I didn't think it would actually happen! I was just saying that to keep his hopes up.

"Remember, Stan," I said while leaving the room, "We're splitting that five grand five different ways, got it?" Stan waved his hand at me.

"Of course!" He said in a slightly suspicious tone. "Goodnight, kid."

"Night, Stan." And with that, I was ascending the stairs to the bedroom. When i opened the door, I saw Dipper undoubtedly writing about the stupid unveiling in the journal while Mabel was laying on her back with her legs raised in the air. Both of them had changed into their pj's.

"Did you two brush your teeth," I asked, leaning against the door. Silence was the only thing that responded. "C'mon, you two." Dipper let out a small groan as he obediently got out of bed while his sister was a bit more vocal with her complaints.

"Okay, _mom_," She said in an annoyed tone as she walked past me. I just flicked her on the back of the head in response.

The twins and I were now in the bathroom brushing our teeth. Apparently there was a bathroom up in the attic in addition to the one downstairs this whole time. I was furious with Stan when I found out but he brushed it off saying that it was a test to see if I was snooping around or not. If I had been snooping, I would have found the upstairs bathroom rather quickly, so Stan appreciated that I wasn't getting nosy in his house. However, the explanation didn't help my thoughts on the matter. I had wasted so much time walking up and down the stairs just to use the bathroom.

Anyway…

Dipper, Mabel and I were brushing our teeth together, I don't know why, but we were. I couldn't help but feel like I was forgetting something. "Hey guys, wanna do a toothbrush race?" Mabel proposed while standing on the bathtub so she could appear taller than me in the mirror. We were about to respond, but a cry from downstairs swept through the Shack and to our ears.

"No… NO… NOOOOO!" Stan yelled and I instantly burst through the bathroom door with the twins in tow, throwing my toothbrush in the sink. I jumped down the final steps of the stairs and laid my eyes upon the decapitated figure of Wax Stan. _Thank god! _Wait, that came out wrong. For a moment, I thought that the real Stan might have been the one to bite the dust, with the whole details slightly changing and all. Stan was shaking as he turned his head towards the three of us.

"Wax Stan! He's been… M-Murdered!" He shrieked, throwing both arms in the figure's direction. This revelation made Mabel faint dramatically, but luckily her brother was there to catch her.

"Stan, you call the cops and we'll take care Mabel," I ordered and he rushed over to the phone. While he did this, I ran into the kitchen and opened several drawers in search of an item after pulling a bottle of water out of the fridge. I found the sugar packet that I was looking for in one of the drawers, and once I did, I ran right back to the twins. Dipper had laid Mabel against the couch so he wouldn't have to be constantly supporting her.

I took a knee beside her and brought the unopened sugar packet under her nose. "Clear!" I yelled as I tore the small packet open. Instantly Mabel's eyes shot open at the scent of her favorite substance. She grabbed hold of her brother's shoulders.

"Who did this!" She roared, shaking her brother wildly. "I want names, Dipper! NAMES!" Her angered gaze flew over to me, making me flinch slightly. "And you! Once I find out who did this, you're hunting them down!" She started swinging her arms like a lunatic. "I WANT BLOOD!" Dipper quickly grabbed the bottle of water that I had taken from the fridge and dumped its entire contents on her head, effectively calming her down.

"Sorry," She said quietly and Stan walked back into the room.

"T-the cops a-are on their w-way," He stuttered while fidgeting with his hands nervously. I stood up and stepped towards him, placing a hand on his bare shoulder.

"We'll find out who did this, don't worry," I said to him while Dipper left to go and grab a towel for his now soaked sister.

It took only a few minutes for the police to arrive, which was quite shocking considering who the two officers were. Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland stepped through the back door and Stan wasted no time explaining the situation. Mabel was now leaning over her creations figure, absentmindedly tracing the area where Wax Stan's head would be.

"I get up to use the john right?" Stan recounted with folded hands. "And when I come back, blamo! He's headless!" He exclaimed gesturing to the fallen figure.

"My expert handcrafting besmirched," Mabel sobbed, "Besmirched!" Dipper knelt beside his sister and placed on her shakey shoulder.

"Who would do something like this?" He questioned prompting Durland to stop taking notes on a pad that he pulled out.

"What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs?" The deputy asked.

"Look, We'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts- This case is unsolvable," Blubs stated with a sip of his coffee, making me roll my eyes.

"What?!" Stan, Dipper and Mabel exclaimed. "You take that back, Sheriff Blubs!" Stan threatened with an outstretched finger. Dipper couldn't believe what he heard.

"You're kidding, right?" He asked. "There must be evidence, motives. Ya know I could help, if you want." Mabel rose beside her brother.

"He's really good," She confirmed excitedly. "He figured out who was eating our tin cans."

"All signs pointed to the goat," Dipper stated while unironically pointing at the officers. Stan backed his nephew up.

"Yeah, Yeah, let the boy help," Stan suggested. "He's got a little brain up in his head." Blubs elbowed his deputiy's shoulder.

"Whooo! Would you look at what we got here!" He mocked. "_City _boy thinks he's gonna solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone!"

"City Bo-oy! City Bo-oy!" Durland called while cupping his hands around his mouth. I noticed how uncomfortable Dipper was getting, so I stepped in.

"Sheriff Blubs," I said calmly.

"Yes?" He replied, still laughing from his deputy's antics.

"Why is the sky blue?" I asked while crossing my arms

"Beg your pardon?" Sheriff Blubs asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Why is the sky blue," I restated with another roll of my eyes.

"I dunno," He responded, "It just is."

"Thought so," I mumbled as I turned to Dipper. "What about you, Dipper? Can you tell me why the sky is blue?"

"When sunlight reaches Earth's atmosphere it is scattered in all directions by all the gases and particles in the air," He answered. "We see the color blue because of its wavelength." I nodded in approval. "Why are you-" I cut him off.

"Durland what is three-hundred and fifty-two multiplied by forty-one?" I asked, making the deputy look at his partner for help.

"Uh..."

"Dipper?"

"Fourteen thousand, four hundred and thirty… two," He replied confidently and I nodded again. I have no idea if that's correct or not but I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

"Wow," I said proudly, looking at the deranged officers once more." He just did that _without_ a computer phone." Blubs and Durland looked at each other nervously. "Let's get back to the situation at hand," I continued. "Dipper, if you were called to a crime scene of a "murder," what would you do first? Something that these two didn't even bother to think about."

"Look for potential murder weapons?" He answered, prompting me to nod.

"So let's do that," I said as I gestured to the Pines family. "While _we_ do," I turned to face Durland who still had the pad and pen in his hands, "You can take notes, on how to do your job, _officer._" Stan's jaw fell slack and he looked at me in amazement. I walked away from the couch, knowing if I had been the one to find the axe it would raise suspicion. It took a minute, but Mabel found the weapon. She bent down to pick it up, but Dipper stopped her.

"Wait!" Dipper cried, grabbing her arm. "We need to check this for fingerprints." He glanced over his shoulder to see Durland furiously jotting down notes. "Hey, man," He said, grabbing the deputy's attention, "Can you get us a blacklight?" Surprisingly, Durland complied and stepped outside to fetch the requested Item. Once he had stepped out the door, Dipper turned to Blubs.

"Sheriff, were there any signs of forced entry when you arrived?" Dipper asked him.

Blubs took a moment to respond. "No, I don't believe I saw any."

"Okay…" Dipper said with a finger on his chin. He then looked to his grunkle with an arched eyebrow. "Did you lock all the doors, Grunkle Stan?" He asked.

"Yeah, I did, kid," Stan replied as he opened the door for Durland. "I did until these bozos showed up." Dipper nodded in understanding.

"So that means that the murderer was already inside the Shack," He said as Durland stepped behind the couch with the black light to observe the axe.

"Well ain't that somethin'," Durland said, grabbing everyone's attention. "There aren't any prints on the axe."

"Ooo, ooo! Can I take a look at it?" Mabel asked and once again, Durland, surprisingly, complied. "Yes!" Mabel exclaimed once she was handed the murder weapon. "I have an axe! Ree! Ree! Ree!"

Dipper gripped his forehead, partly because he was delving into deep thought and partly because he was trying to drown out his sister. Blubs and Durland were looking at each other in worry, at least they knew that the axe should have fingerprints. "Should she really be holding that, partner." Blubs asked. Nope, spoke too soon.

I took a glance at the clock and noted that it was now close to ten twenty, it was getting kind of late. "Alright, thank you for your help officers," I said while stepping towards them, "But we'll take it from here." They both looked at me in confusion.

"You're going to solve this?" Blubs asked and I nodded. He burst into laughter and his deputy even giggled a little, but despite this I held a steady gaze on Blubs. "How are you going to do that, boy? There's no evidence here!" The sheriff exclaimed. "All you've got is an axe and a dead… Lump of clay." Stan let out a loud dramatic gasp.

"How could you be so insensitive!" He cried while Mabel nodded in agreement, still clutching to the axe. "A man has died and you're degrading him!" _Huh, I'm surprised he knows what that means. _

"We'll do it, easily. You don't know what us Pines are capable of," I replied, ignoring Stan's comment. Don't get me wrong, I did want to back Stan up, the two officers were being disrespectful and not taking this seriously at all. Sure, not an actual person had died, but this is still damage of property and a potential break in! Of course the latter isn't true, but they don't need to know that. The two of them need to see what some good old determination can do. "Besides," I continued while gesturing to Blubs' walkie talkie that was pinned to his chest, "Seems like you've got another call coming in."

"Attention all units," A voice from the radio blared, "Steve is going to fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. I repeat an entire cantaloupe in his mouth!" Durland swayed his arms in excitement.

"It's a 23:16!" He exclaimed prompting his partner to turn and face him.

"Let's move," Blubs stated seriously and led his deputy out of the Shack and into their cruiser. Dipper noticed them leaving and perked his head up.

"Where are they going?" He asked once the door closed behind the two officers. "We still don't have any leads." I took the axe from Mabel, prompting her to 'Aww' out of disappointment, and walked over to her brother.

"Listen, Dipper," I said, holding his shoulder with my free hand, "We'll look into this tomorrow, alright? I'm tired from the re-opening and I wanna go to sleep." Dipper looked at me like I was insane.

"What!" He cried. "The little evidence that we have supports the fact that the murderer of Wax Stan came from _inside _the Shack. He could still be here!"

"Dipper I don't know about you, but if I was at a crime scene and the cops showed up, I would have bolted the first chance I got," I replied, but he didn't ease up. Dipper was breathing heavily, obviously confused by my calm demeanor. "Besides, if the murderer wanted us dead we definitely would be by now." Stan nodded in agreement and I needed to hide my growing smile at the irony.

"The kid's right," He said with crossed arms, "We were all alone at one point when we were cleaning up earlier, that would be a perfect chance for them to strike." This seemed to begin easing Dipper back into a normal breathing rate. "You can always lock the door too just to be safe," Stan added.

I began to walk to the stairs, but not after setting the axe against the wall, Mabel was right behind me. "Don't touch anything else in here," I ordered. "There could be some clues that we haven't found yet." Stan flicked off the lights and followed me and his niece, his gaze lingering on the wax figure. Dipper soon reluctantly followed as he decided that being alone right now was the worst thing that he could do.

Once again, I was dreaming. This time, from the get go, I was well aware of this fact. I stood in the same open field that I was in the previous night, the color still drained from my surroundings. I was completely alone. There was no breeze, no sounds of wildlife anywhere. The only thing I heard was my steady breathing as I watched my surroundings. Off in the distance, I could make out the figure of my highschool. It was relatively small compared to other schools, because just like Gravity Falls, it was located in a small town. It was the site of a normal life, uninteresting and boring. I turned my head in the other direction and I saw the unmistakable cliffs of Gravity Falls. It beckoned me closer, wanting to share the secrets that it held within its valley. I could feel the adventure seeping out of it while I heard the ring of a school bell behind me. Even though I now had responsibilities here, the twins, the Shack and defeating Bill Cipher, I still had responsibilities back home.

My mind was trapped between two worlds, both completely different.

My situation at home isn't entirely the best. Yeah, I have a mother and father that love me very much and even a twin sister of my own, but it's not their love for me that's the issue. It's their love for each other. I could only imagine how me being in another dimension was affecting them. But despite this issue, I don't think that I can go home if given the chance, knowing that if I do, I will be giving the finger to the universe.

I heard a small, mystical poof. "Still having doubts?" Alex materialized behind me and I turned to face him. I nodded and then looked to the ground. "I see…" Alex continued. I gave no response and held my gaze at the grey, motionless grass at my feet. "You, uh," He began awkwardly, "You wanna talk about it?" I scoffed, making Alex raise an eyebrow.

"Never would have expected that an all powerful being would want to talk about a mortal's feelings," I replied, still not looking at him directly. "...It's just that… I understand that you need my help, and I am honestly honored that you chose me for this but, I still have all of these responsibilities at home."

"I understand." I gave him a look, "Okay maybe not entirely... I know that this is hard, but I brought you here to save the universe!" He exclaimed, gesturing all around us and I nodded.

"Yeah I get why I was brought here," I confirmed, "But what I still fail to see is why you chose me."

"That's for you to find out and discover on your own," He replied ominously, making me roll my eyes. "Do you have any other questions?" I wanted desperately to say no, like when a teacher asks if you have any questions about what you just read from a book in class, but this was serious.

"Are you gonna be vague with your answers?" I asked, prompting him to shake his head. "Alright, well, I was wondering why things are changing? Is my presence really strong enough to make an entire cave disappear?" Alex nodded in understanding and began to form his answer.

"Since in your dimension the world that I had created is a cartoon, somethings are going to be different," He explained. "For convenience of the story, things were added to the show to ensure the protagonists victory, sometimes making the impossible possible. I forgot the term that associates with that..."

"Cartoon Logic?" I suggested and he nodded, clearly pleased with my answer.

"That's it, Cartoon Logic," Alex continued. "Since this is a living, breathing world, Cartoon Logic does not apply here and there are no convenient ways to get out of a sticky situation, hence why there was no cave." _Great. _

"But how could Wax Aberham Lincoln still be alive, it's not cartoon logic that a wax version of John Wilkes Booth killed him. That's just _logic _logic." Alex gave a small shrug in response.

"What can I say? Having a completely different person added to the story is going to have major side effects. Makes it a little more interesting, especially for you," He replied. "Anything else?"

"Does Bill Cipher really know almost nothing about me," I asked and Alex nodded. "How is that possible?"

"The dimension that you come from is one that I like to call the 'Root Dimension.'" He replied, making me raise an eyebrow. "Your dimension is the one that is responsible for others like my own. When the people of your world make a movie, show or even a book, it creates an entire alternate universe that is rooted from yours. Magic takes many shapes and forms and in the Root Demension's case, magic comes from the minds of its inhabitants, and while they don't know it, they're responsible for a plethora of alternate universes.'' Alex scratched his beard thoughtfully. "You asked earlier if I was Alex Hirsh, technically I am. I was sent here from his mind with a world to build when he was coming up with his show idea."

"Okay," I said, slightly confused, "But how does that tie into Bill Cipher?"

"Only the creator of each individual universe knows that they are sprouted from the Root Dimension, no one else would ever suspect a thing unless they are explicitly told. Except for Bill Cipher. This dimension is a direct link to yours and if he gained a physical form here, he would be able to cross over to the Root Dimension and change anything and everything with its magic. This is why I had created the Law of Weirdness Magnetism, to ensure if Cipher ever came here, he couldn't sense your world. The bubble encasing the valley is not only a physical barrier but a mental one as well, able to block Bill's psyche from finding the Root Dimension. Since you come from a dimension that Bill cannot reach, he is unable to know anything about you, even if you were to come in contact with him." Alex scratched his beard once more. "Does that answer your question?"

"...Sure," I replied, believing that I got the basic gist of the long winded explanation. "How are you able to contact me when you said that you can't interact with the people in this world?"

Alex shook his head. "I said that I can't interact with the world I had created," He corrected, "You are not a part of this world. I can only speak with you when you are sleeping and only when you are holding the dream stone that you took from the gift shop." _So that's what that is, makes sense I guess. _

The scene that the two of us were in began to turn white, sending me into a slight panic. I say slight because I noticed that Alex was hardly phased by this. "It seems that Mabel is trying to wake you up and is forcing your consciousness back to reality."

"That's not gonna, like hurt, is it?" I asked with a degree of worry. Alex shook his head once more.

"You'll have nothing but a headache," He clarified with a wave of his hand as our surroundings faded away. "Be careful, and remember: there is a reason why I chose you." He disappeared in front of my eyes as I was pulled back to reality.

"Matt! Matt! Matt!" Mabel yelled in my ear as she shook me wildly. "Get up, we gotta mystery to solve!" I gave her a light shove to push her away from my face.

"I'm up, I'm up," I replied with my eyes still closed. "Give me a second, would ya?" She obliged and backed off, allowing me to sit up. I rubbed my head and opened my eyes to see a fully dressed Dipper waiting by the attic door. I gave a quick glance at Mabel and noticed that she too was fully dressed and ready to go. "I don't get it. Mabel, how do you have so much energy at… What time is it?"

"Time for you to GET UP!" Mabel yelled, making me flinch as she advanced toward me once more. Luckily, Dipper grabbed her and pulled her out of the room before she was in my face again.

"We'll be downstairs waiting for you," Dipper said as he closed the door behind him and his sister. Once they were gone, I opened my palm to reveal the dream stone that allowed me to interact with Alex. Relieved that neither of the twins spotted it, I set it back up on the night stand above my mattress after I stood up. Who knows when the next time I would have seen the rock if Mabel took it from me.

I quickly got changed. This time, I wore the red flannel with the black undershirt that Wendy had gotten me along with the pair of jeans. I exited the room and descended the stairs, deciding that I would take a shower later. Mabel was reaching for the axe that rested against the wall with one hand while Dipper was swatting her hand away from said axe that was resting against the wall.

"Nice to see you two haven't started without me," I said grabbing the twins' attention. Dipper pulled a roll of toilet paper out of his vest pocket that he must have gotten from the bathroom. With haste, he began to close off both entry ways into the room once I had joined them with numerous stripps of toilet paper.

"Okay, area secure," Dipper stated once he used up the last of the toilet paper. "No grunkle interruptions for the time being." He knelt down next to the figure of Wax Stan. "Do you have any suspects in mind?" Dipper asked me. Not only did I have a suspect, but I also knew who was the killer, but of course I can't give him the outright answer.

"I'm not entirely sure, but I think we can rule out anybody from the unveiling yesterday," I said, picking up the axe before Mabel could get a hold of it. "Us three deffinetly didn't do it becasue we were all together when the murder happened. I doubt that Wendy would want to come back to work after she had a chance to go home and I also doubt that it was Soos because he is too pure hearted to do something like this to his boss." Dipper nodded in agreement.

"So that leaves us with a deranged maniac or Grunkle Stan," Dipper speculated, looking up from the figure.

"Or option three!" Mabel chimed in cherrily, prompting the both of us to look at her. "It's a natural super monster!" Dipper gave a small roll of his eyes.

"Okay, first, it's supernatural," Dipper clarified. "And second, I think you might be right." Mabel put both hands on her hips in victory. "However, it is clear that what we're dealing with is smart enough to use an axe and doesn't have any prints. This can be dangerous."

"That's what makes it fun, bro-bro!" Mabel exclaimed, making Dipper smile at his sister's enthusiasm. "Whatever it is, we will face it together." She then high fived her brother with a smile and they went back to scouring the room for clues. Mabel had found two footprints, one of them had a hole, next to where she had recovered the axe. Dipper took note of this and hoped to find more tracks, but due to all the steps the three of us were taking in the room, any trace of other footprints had faded away. But even that didn't stop Dipper from finding something else.

"Hey guys," He called, "Check this out." Dipper was now standing in front of the door that led into the giftshop and was inspecting a small wad of wax on the doorframe. "The murderer must have gotten some of Wax Stan's, well, wax on him and then bumped into the door." He was right, the substance on the door was most certainly forced upon the doorframe. Wax Sherlock Holmes must have been in a rush to flee the room once he heard Stan coming and scraped, _is that even the right word, _ himself while opening the door. Dipper poked the wax on the door. As he pushed in the substance, the wax slowly engulfed his finger tip. "Definitely wax," He concluded.

"Do you think there's more on the other side of the door?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"Only one way to find out!" Mabel said, pushing open the door. All of our expectant faces fell at what we saw.

"Oh hey, dudes!" Soos said with a small wave as he swept up something on the floor. "Watch your step around here, there's a ton of wax. But not to worry dudes, I think I got most of it. Nice axe by the way, Matt."

"Thanks man," I replied while stepping into the room. "Did you, uh, hear the news?" He needs to know about this.

"There's news?!" He exclaimed. "Is it good?" I gave a quick glance to the twins and then looked back to Soos.

"Well there's no way to put this lightly," I said while preparing for Soos' breakdown. "Wax Stan was murdered last night." I closed my eyes, expecting him to jump forward and cry on my shoulder or something, but he didn't move.

"Oh yeah, Stan told me about that," He responded. "It's a real bummer, dude. But I bet you dudes are already on the killer's case."

"Well, we _were_," Dipper muttered under his breath, prompting Mabel to nudge him forcefully with her elbow.

"Have you seen what happened?" I asked and Soos shook his head vigorously.

"No way, dude," He said, backing away slightly. "If I did, I would definitely break down. I've gotta be strong for Mr. Pines as he makes it through this tough time." I nodded in understanding and Soos went about his business.

"Great," Dipper silently, "There goes our only lead." I turned to face the twins, Mabel was shaking her head with a smirk.

"On the contrary, my dear brother," She said with a confident smug smile, making her brother raise an eyebrow. "I think I have spotted something that may be of interest." However, before she could voice what she saw, Soos butted in.

"Oh yeah I almost forgot, dudes," He said reaching into his pocket. The twins' eyes grew wide as Soos pulled three large wads of cash out of his pocket. "The contest money came in last night! We won, dudes!" Mabel and Dipper still had their eyes glued to the money in Soos' hand. "Mr. Pines asked me to give you your share of the money." He handed me the cash since I was the closest. "He's outfront right now, hauling in a coffin that he bought with his share of the prize money."

"Thank you Soos, we'll go talk to him. See how he's doing, ya know?" I said, Soos nodded and went back to work. Dipper shook his head, tearing his gaze away from the money and back to his sister.

"Sorry, got a little distracted there," He said as I put the money in my pocket. "What was it that you saw Mabel?" She too had been distracted from the money and was presumably thinking about her life sized hamster ball at the moment. Her gaze was unfixed, just staring blankly at one of the shelves, completely unaware of her brother's attempts to get her attention. Dipper set a hand on her shoulder and gave it a small shake. "Mabel?" Instantly, like she was splashed with cold water, she came back to her senses.

"Huh? Sorry about that," Mabel said while absentmindedly scratching her arm. "What did you say?"

"He asked what was the thing that you saw, Mabes," I answered and her face lit up, like nothing had happened.

"Oh yeah!" Mabel said with a light smack on her forehead. "I didn't actually see anything. I was going to say something light hearted to boost morale!" She threw both arms up in the air with a big smile and Dipper let out a small sigh.

"So we really did lose the trail?" He asked dejectedly.

Mabel placed both hands on her brother's shoulders. "Don't worry, Dipper. You'll figure this out! Besides, you got me and Matt to back you up." Dipper gave a small wordless smile.

"That's right," I spoke up, "We can solve this mystery and show those cops how it's done!" Dipper, now feeling a bit better, laughed.

"Dude that's awesome!" Soos called from the other side of the giftshop. "You dudes are like, the Mystery Kids."

"Don't call us that," I said, giving him a serious look. Soos didn't notice this as he had already gone back to work. "I think that we should go check up on Stan before we do any more digging, though," I suggested. "That figure must have really reminded him of himself." _Or a certain brother. _"He's still probably all shoken up by it's untimely demise." Dipper nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, we have time to check up on him," He said while gesturing out the window. "There's still plenty of daylight left." The three of us walked out of the giftshop door leading outside and sure enough, Stan stood next to his car with a coffin in its trunk. Within a few seconds he noticed us.

"Hey do you kids mind helping me move this coffin?" He asked in a surprisingly sincere tone. "I'm holding a memorial service for Wax Stan, it's something small but classy." With a grunt he pulled the wooden coffin out of the trunk and rested it on the ground.

"Sure thing, Grunkle Stan!" Mabel replied enthusiastically as she grabbed one side of the coffin. I squatted down to help her, knowing full well that there was no way she was moving this thing without getting hurt. I had a grip on the top end of the coffin and began to lift it up using the power in my legs. Mabel was barely getting her side off the ground which didn't go unnoticed by Stan. He took hold of the base, the opposite end from where I was. He grunted once more and the coffin was successfully off the ground. Since my back was facing the Shack, Dipper helped guide me to the back door. Mabel had realized that she wasn't helping that much, so she let go and decided to help in other ways…

"COME ON! PUT YOUR BACKS INTO IT!"

… By yelling at the top of her lungs in Stan and I's ears. In Mabel's eyes, this was most certainly the motivation that we needed, but this was making things harder. _Much_ harder. Not only was she yelling over Dipper's directions, but she was making me laugh, something that you do not want to do when you're holding something heavy.

"MORE EFFORT, GRUNKLE STAN!" Mabel yelled. "LET'S SEE WHAT THOSE BIG STRONG ARMS CAN DO!"

"Kid," Stan started "If you don't quiet down…"

"WHAT'S THAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER MY AWESOME MOTIVATION!"

It went like this for a few minutes. Dipper was getting irritated because he would consistently have to repeat directions a few times and Stan was so close to dropping the coffin out of frustration. Either that or my constant laughter was making it hard for him to maintain his grip. Despite the difficulties, we were able to bring the coffin into the parlor without any major slip ups and set it on a wooden stand that Stan must have put up earlier this morning.

After the coffin was set in place, Stan wordlessly left the room. I frowned, being here to see Stan's grief has been more gloomy than I had previously anticipated. From what I could gather from Stan's deminor, or lack thereof, he has temporarily lost most of his feelings as this whole situation had resurfaced the long since buried emotions of that fateful day thirty years ago. I clenched my fists tightly while looking at the empty coffin.

"We're going to find the jerk who did this." I growled in a low tone that surprised the twins. Stanley Pines did not deserve to be in this funk, he didn't deserve to be this downcast and forlorn. Sure, Stan Pines had made poor decisions in the past, but he was still a good man.

Nightfall was just moments away now and the inhabitants of the Mystery Shack along with both of it's employees were currently seated in the parlor before a coffin. Soos had a handkerchief clutched desperately in his giant hands, having to wipe his eyes every few moments due to his over abundance of tears. I had convinced Wendy to stay for the service and even though she thought what Stan was doing for a lifeless replica of himself was over the top, she still fulfilled my request. Her hand was resting on the handle of her hatchet that I told her to bring. Of course she had questioned me why she would need to bring a weapon to a funeral but I told her to trust me, needless to say she did.

The twins and I had not found any more evidence to who the murderer was and where they could have gone, which had greatly upset Dipper. When he had reported this to his grunkle instead of being upset, Stan was in complete understanding which surprised even me.

The five of us sat in front of all the wax figures which was very unsettling but I powered through the very uncomfortable feeling I had. I'm never going to keep my back turned to a potential threat again. My hand rested against a box of matches I had in my pocket that I had taken from a drawer in the kitchen moments ago. I flinched slightly when I heard Stan open the door to the room.

"Kids, Soos, Wendy, lifeless wax figures, thank you all for coming." Stan stated with great heartbreak seeping into his voice once he was behind the podium that he had set up earlier. "Some people might think it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself." He continued making Soos shoot to his feet in a very aggressive manner.

"They're wrong!" He exclaimed while pointing at his boss.

"Easy, Soos." Stan said with a small hint of warning. "Wax Stan," He called while looking at the figure, "I hope you're picking pockets in wax heaven." A tear then fell from his cheek which he was quick to wipe away. "I'm sorry, I got glitter in my eye!" Stan cried as he ran out of the room with his face buried in his hands.

"Oh, dude!" Soos sobbed. He stood to run after Stan and believe me when I say that it took not only my entire will but all of my strength as well to keep him in place. "Dude can you please let me go." Soos tried to say in a calm voice as he stopped trying to get free from my hold.

"Soos, I talked to him earlier," I lied, "He said that if something like this happens he wants to be left alone." I gave him a pat on the shoulder and a sorrowful look once he took his seat beside me once more. If we're about to face a group of blood thirsty wax figures, I think Soos can come in handy.

"Those cops were right about me." Dipper moped as he slouched heavily in his chair.

"Dipper, we've come so far," Mabel responded while gripping the axe, "We can't give up now." Despite his sister's encouragement, Dipper continued to complain.

"But I considered everything- the weapon the motive, the clues…" He trailed off as he approached the decapacated figure. "Wax Stan's shoe has a hole in it." Dipper stated while peering into the coffin.

"All the wax guys have that." Mabel replied standing next to her brother. "It's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand dealies." Once Mabel said this, Wendy's eyes flew over to me. She had put it together. I had told her everything about the murder situation when she came into work today and now that was paying off. I gave her a nod once our eyes locked and she gripped her hatchet tighter with a quick side glance to the cursed wax figures behind us.

"Wait a minute!" Dipper exclaimed. "What has a hole in its shoe and no fingerprints?" He then leaned closer to his sister. "Mabel the murderers are-"

"Standing right behind you."

All five of us whipped around to face the now awakened wax figures. The twins let out a disgusted gasp, I grabbed the axe from Mabel's grasp and Wendy pulled her hatchet for self defense. Soos was slow to react and was seized by wax Genghis Khan.

"Well done my ameture sleuthes, you've unburied the truth!" Wax Sherlock Holmes praised. "And now we're going to bury you." He threatened while pointing his magnifying glass at us. Unlike in the show, the figures kept their distance not wanting to be cut down by the two teenagers with blades.

"Let Soos go." I ordered prompting the man child to nod in agreement. The wax figures ignored me.

"Bravo Dipper Pines, you've discovered our little secret." Wax Sherlock Holmes congratulated while pulling out the decapitated head of Wax Stan. "Applaud everyone," He requested, turning to his comrades, " Applaud sarcastically." The other wax figures enthusiastically clapped their hands to their leader's disappointment. "Uh no that's too sincere, slow clap." The wax figures compiled. "There we go! Nice and condescending."

"But how is this possible?" Dipper asked, prompting Holmes to face him. "You're made of wax!"

"Are you… Magic?" Mabel hopefully asked.

"Of course their magic, Mabel." Wendy answered. "Inanimate objects don't just animate out of nowhere."

"We're not magic! We're cursed!" Holmes declared angrily, taking a step closer. I pointed my axe's blade in his face, wordlessly telling him to back off.

"Cursed magic is still magic." I replied matter-a-factly, slowly pulling the blade away and dropping the conversation.

"We are cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing." Holmes stated. "Your uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale."

"A haunted garage sale, son!" Wax Coolio interrupted.

"And so the Mystery Shack wax collection was born." Holmes continued. "By day we were the playthings of man, but when your uncle went to sleep we would rule the night. It was indeed a charmed life for us cursed beings, that is until your uncle closed up shop. We've been waiting ten years to get revenge on Stan for locking us away, but we got the wrong guy."

"Yeesh, nice monologue." I muttered.

"Wait, so you dudes were trying to murder Mr. Pines f-for r-real?" Soos asked fearfully.

"Yes you bumbling idiot. And now that you know our secret, you all must die." Holmes replied and instantly regretted it. Soos can take a lot of things, but the one thing that he cannot and will not tolerate is the endangerment of the people he cares about. With amazing strength, Soos grabbed Wax Gengus Khan's arms that were secured around his upper body, and flipped the figure over his head and onto the floor. But he wasn't done. Once Soos was completely free of his captor's hold, he elbow dropped him in the face, creating a massive indent that disoriented Khan's eyes. It was a successful and impressive attack from the handyman but there was one problem, Soos was stuck.

"A little help dudes?" Soos asked, trying to free himself to no avail. The other wax figures quickly took note that he was incapacitated for the moment and started to advance. Luckily Dipper and Mabel lept into action, pulling Soos' free arm with all their might while Wendy and I fended the figures off. The both of us never put out a full on swing however, as we were afraid that we might accidentally hit Soos or the twins. Only when Wax Gengis Khan joined in on the effort to move Soos, did the handyman get free.

Dipper, Mabel, and Soos all went flying back, landing just in front of a table and without any hesitation, they stood up and threw whatever they could grab. Mabel chucked a coffee pitcher directly and Wax Abraham Lincoln's face, causing it to melt. Everyone in the room watched as the figure fell to its knees in pain, which made Mabel give an unsettling smile.

"That's it we can melt them with hotty melty things!" She exclaimed as she and her brother grabbed an electric candle. Soos turned his cap backwards, cracked his knuckles and clentched his fists, he was angry, something that I never would have thought was possible.

"Anyone move and we'll melt you into candles!" Dipper exclaimed confidently, taking a step forward with his weapon.

"Decorative candles." His sister added with a menacing smile. The wax figures were now cowering in fear, hands and arms covering their faces. But then simultaneously, they all stood straight, realizing that we were still kids. Albeit kids that were armed, but kids nonetheless.

"Do you really think that you can defeat us?" Wax Sherlock Holmes asked the five of us. Dipper took a quick glance to his left where his sister and Wendy were, both clutching their weapons tightly. Then he took a glance to his right were Soos and I were, both with serious faces and ready to strike.

He then faced Holmes, who was still waiting for an answer. "Yes." Dipper stated confidently.

"So be it." Holmes replied and outstretched his arm at us. "Attack!" Wax Shakespeare charged forward at Dipper, fists raised. Dipper tried to play defensively, taking a step back and raising his candle. However, Wax Shakespeare was intercepted before coming in contact with Dipper. With a warrior cry, Mabel jumped at the wax figure and swung her candle at his raised arm. My eyes widened in worry at the result. Mabel did hit her target but instead of slicing the wax figure in half, the candle broke, rendering it completely useless. Then, words echoed in my head, _Cartoon Logic does not apply here and there are no convenient ways to get out of a sticky situation. _The candles were not nearly hot enough to melt through the wax figures, leaving the twins defenseless.

Dipper's confidence faded away and he gave a disappointed look at the unbroken candle in his hand. "Okay, not so sure now." Mabel desperately threw the broken candle at the horde of wax figures.

"New plan guys!" She yelled, dodging a swipe from the now recovered Wax Shakespeare. "We need a new plan!" Wendy and I stepped forward, both swinging our axe and hatchet respectively. Wendy cut clean through both Shakespeare's arms, making him scream, not in pain but in surprise. I wasn't as lucky. Since I didn't want to swing wildly at my target, I restrained my strike, losing crucial momentum. My blade got stuck in Wax Coolio's side, making him give a laugh.

"All ten of my kids could have swung better than that!" Coolio exclaimed. He was about to give another laugh but Soos punched him in the face, making him reel back and allowed my axe to slip free.

"Don't hold back, dude." Soos said. "I know I'm not. I technically got stapled twice because of these guys!"

"Got it, Soos." I replied with a smile. The handyman then ran over to Dipper who was still defenseless. Coolio recovered now, and I readied my axe.

"You gonna try another swing, baby arms?" He taunted and I hoisted the weapon up to my shoulder. I'm not gonna let some old, outdated rapper run his mouth about me.

I wordlessly, and forcefully, slashed at the wax figure's neck, sending his head clean of his shoulders and to the ground. "Huh, I guess you were." Coolio said once he hit the wooden floor.

"For the record," I said, bringing my left foot off the floor and behind me, "I don't have baby arms." I then sent my leg forward, effectively kicking him in the air, causing him to let out a scream as he soared above his wax companions. I was hoping that he'd land in the corner of the room or something, but instead he collided with Wax Gengis Khan who was clumsily trying to get past the other figures and to Soos for revenge.

Of course he completely forgot about his original target and charged right at me.

I tried to dodge out of the way, but the figure's reach was too great. He snagged me and tackled me to the ground, pinning me to the floor and pinning the axe to my chest. I grabbed hold of the weapon, trying to push it free so I could use it but Khan saw this. Quickly, he grabbed the handle with both hands and forced it towards my neck so he could effectively choke me. I pushed back with all my strength and I was gaining some leverage but that's when I noticed my friends were in trouble. Soos had gotten restrained once more, this time with one of his arms behind his back and Dipper was trying to get him free. The preteen had latched onto the upper body of Wax Groucho, clawing at his eyeballs. Wendy was fending off three figures at once while Mabel was distracting Wax Abraham Lincoln, just barely avoiding his attacks.

Due to my lack of focus on the brute that was currently on top of me, I started to slip and the axe handle pushed closer to my neck. "Hahaha! You think you're so tough, don't you?" Khan taunted. "You can hardly bench press the bar!"

I let out a small grunt. "What's with you guys making fun of my strength?" I asked pushing back harder now, coming up with a risky plan in my head. _Don't let this backfire… Literally. _I spat in Khan's face disorienting him even more allowing me to take one hand off the handle. My now free hand darted to my pocket, _here goes nothing. _"Mabel!" I yelled, grabbing her attention. Her gaze shot to mine and I slid the box of matches in her direction. Dipper saw this as well.

"Are you crazy!" He yelled. "You're giving _Mabel _matches?!" I set my hand back on the handle and began pushing back once more.

"Do you have a better idea?!" I called, he was silent for a moment.

"No, No not really." He replied, throwing the wax figure's eyes he had just clawed out at Gengis Khan. This, just like before, distracted him and his gaze flew over to Dipper, giving me a much needed opening. I punched Khan in the face, loosening his grip on the handle allowing me to roll the both of us over, but this time I was pinning him to the floor.

"What's the matter Dingus Khan?" I asked with a smug smirk. "Can't bench the bar?" Before he let out a roar of anger, Mabel rushed over to my aid. She had three ignited matches in between her fingers in a closed fist simulating claws of somesort, then she jammed the matches and their flames right into Khan's face. Of course the pain that the wax figure experienced was enough for him to let go of the handle and cover his face, prompting me to lift the axe up and swing down on his head, cutting right down the middle. Mabel, without looking, gave me an appreciative fist bump that I gladly accepted.

"Guys!" Wendy called, still in a three on one. "A little help!" She was doing good, all things considered, being able to dismember multiple of her attacker's limbs due to her defensive stance. Mabel ignited three more matches and rushed over to her friend in need. The young girl went into a slide and planted the three ignited matches right into Wax Nixon's leg, sending him off balance and allowing Wendy to push him into the fireplace. Nixon screamed and yelled, trying to push himself out of the intense flames but was unsuccessful as his arms began to melt, not giving him the crucial strength he needed.

Wax Robinhood tried to take advantage of a distracted Wendy, only for him to be cut in half and cast aside by a fatal strike of my axe, leaving Wax Lizzie Borden all by herself. She quickly realized that she was outnumbered and outgunned, having lost one of her arms to a swing from Wendy. The wax figure turned and tried to run out the door only to collide with Soos' fist, knocking her to the floor.

"And stay down!" Mabel yelled, throwing her now empty box of matches at the collapsed wax figure. The five of us lifted our gazes from the figure and looked around the room, fully taking in the carnage and chaos we partook in.

"Yeesh, Mabel," Dipper began, gesturing to the figure of Wax Abraham Lincoln, "What did you do to him." Once my eyes laid upon him, I thought the same thing. Every single one of his fingers was replaced by a burnt out match, a foldable chair was sticking out of his back and most terrifying of all, his head was twisted backwards.

"Just because I'm a master of making art, doesn't mean I'm not just as good at destroying it." She replied innocently.

"Fair enough." Her brother answered surprisingly calmly, taking another look around the room. But of course Dipper being calm is something that people get to witness for a short period of time. "Wait, where's Wax Sherlock Holmes?" He asked, a small hint of fear breaking into his voice. Sure enough, the supposed leader of the group of cursed wax figures was nowhere to be found.

"Oh no!" Soos gasped and ran out of the room. "Mr. Pines!" With a quick, terrified glance at one another, the rest of us bolted after the handyman. The five of us barreled into the den and laid our eyes on a horrifying sight.

"Well hello, children." Holmes greeted cooly. The wax figure held a sword to Stan's throat with one hand and held the conman's right arm against his back with the other. "So glad you could finally join us."

"Kids," Stan started, "Somebody better start explaining what the heck is happening right now!"

"Ah not to worry Stanford, you won't have to worry about that for much longer." Holmes said darkly.

"I don't like that underlying message!" Stan exclaimed. "Get me out of here!"

"Let him go!" Dipper yelled.

"And why would I do that?" Holmes questioned. "Did you not listen to my backstory?!"

"Trust me, we did." Wendy replied with a roll of her eyes. This was a very dangerous situation, Stan's life is on the line and this must be approached with caution and precision…

"I'll make what you did to Wax Stan look like a joke if you don't hand Grunkle Stan over right now!" Mabel yelled.

… Or we can approach it, guns blazing apparently. "Clearly you have not realized that you are in no position to be making threats, little miss."

"What are you going to gain from this?" I asked. "Besides, there was no way of Stan knowing that you were alive!" Holmes grew frustrated at this and tightened his grip on the sword.

"Quiet you red haired fiend!" He snapped back. "Your philosophy will accomplish nothing!"

Stan let out a sigh. "Thanks for trying kids, but it looks like this is it." Soos, Wendy and the twins were shocked to see Stan giving up, but I wasn't entirely convinced. The look in the old man's eye was not one of defeat or loss, but one of deceit. "I know you knuckleheads want a piece of this guy, but I'm sorry to tell ya… he's mine." There it is.

"Wha-" Holmes was cut off by a swift but powerful elbow jab from Stan's free arm, allowing him to slip under the sword and out of the figure's grasp. Stan quickly regrouped with the five of us and let out a sigh of relief, only for his eyes to widen once he saw Wax Sherlock Holmes let out a roar of anger.

"Ya know what, kids? Maybe I was being a bit too hasty." Stan proposed, making Dipper raise an eyebrow. "He's all yours."

"Wow, thanks Stan." Wendy said sarcastically while raising her hatchet, preparing for Holmes' next move.

"Heheh, you got it." Stan replied.

"You will evade my grasp no longer, Stanford!" Holmes yelled, raising his sword. The wax figure charged and leapt forward, and although Stan was in the back of the group, it was easy to tell that he was the intended target. Wendy easily parried the attack with her hatchet, prompting Soos to grab and restrian Holmes, not allowing him to produce another swing. Obviously the Wax Sleuth attempted to break free, he began punching ferociously at Soos and despite the onslaught, the handyman's grip did not loosen.

The twins lept into action next, taking hold of their adversary's legs as they noticed Holmes would soon begin kicking, still trying desperately to break free. Dues to Dipper and Mabel's added weight on the wax figure's unstable form. This in turn set Holmes off balance and instead of letting him crash to the floor, Soos brought him down slowly in order to maintain his grip. Once again, the wax figure began lashing out at the handyman but this time Wendy stepped on his arm and forced it to stay on the floor.

I glanced at Stan, he looked impressed at our unvoiced teamwork. His eyes were widened significantly and his mouth was slightly agape. And although I doubt he would ever say it, he was clearly grateful for us quite literally jumping into a hostile situation to protect him. I brought his wandering mind back to reality when I set a hand on his shoulder. Stan gave me a thankful look but his face fell once he saw me offering the axe to him. "Wanna do the honors?" I asked and was confused when he stepped back.

"What, and kill this guy?!" Stan exclaimed. "Look I know that he's after me or whatever and destroyed a replica of myself, but I'm not going to take the life of another human being."

Wendy cleared her throat. "Uh, Stan?" Her boss looked over, prompting her to continue. "He's one of your wax figures. They turned out to be cursed and murdered Wax Stan." Stan's eyes widened once more by this revelation.

"No wonder they were so cheap." The con man muttered under his breath, taking the axe from me now. "Welp, in that case!" Stan brought the axe above his head with a serious look. "This is for Wax Stan."

A couple hours later, the six of us sat around a fire that used the coffin Stan had bought as its fuel source as it was no longer needed. All of the remnants of the wax figures had been incinerated and disposed of… Well all except Wax Larry King. Just like in the show, he was nowhere to be found. Thankfully I was the only one that noticed, we wouldn't be sitting around a nice fire roasting marshmallows and cooking hot dogs if everyone knew a figure was still on the loose.

Just as I predicted, Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland both pulled up in their police cruiser. "Solve the case yet boy?" Blubs asked through his rolled down window. "I'm so confident you're gonna say no, that I'm gonna take a big long sip from my cup of coffee."

"Actually," I said with a clap, prompting Mabel to throw Wax Stan's head over with a big smile. "The answer is yes." I replied smugly, showing the officers with proud outstretched arms. Blubs immediately spat his searing hot coffee into his deputy's face making him howl in pain.

"My eyes!" Durland exclaimed, flailing his arms wildly like a child, grabbing everywhere but his own face. His hands made it to the cruiser's steering wheel, and for whatever reason, fear I guess, Blubs floored the gas pedal, sending the pair into a tree nearby.

"HAHAHA!" Stan laughed loudly. "They got scalded!" This of course made everyone around the fire burst into laughter.

"Heheh, yeah dude!" Soos exclaimed. "Their overconfidence was their downfall!" What was supposed to be a joke or a cheer of victory from Soos, deeply resonated with me. He was right, their over confidence _was _their downfall. Not just the two deranged officers, no, but the wax figures as well. They severely underestimated us since we were a group of kids and because of that, they've melted and ceased to exist and if I'm not careful, I could suffer a similar fate.

Looking back on it, I was a bit over confident around two very dangerous and powerful people today, one of which I will be facing very soon. It wasn't all bad though, I guess. I needed to establish that I wouldn't back down from either of them. Could I have been a bit smarter about it? Most certainly, but now I know. I cannot allow myself to get cocky. I need to restrain myself, and ensure that my cover won't get blown wide open. I may be here for a very important mission, but I've made some very important friends as well.

I smiled, looking at my friends, knowing that we still have many adventures to come.

**A/N**

**Hello again my fantastic readers! Thanks for reading the chapter, as you can tell it took quite some time. Enough about that though, I want to get into a more serious topic.**

**The reason why it takes so long for me to post chapters for this story is because I can be quite busy. I'm a rising senior in high school, I have a friend group that constantly wants to do stuff, I got my drivers license last week (Whoohoo!), I've gone on vacation a few times and of course good old writers block took quite a toll as well. There are a ton more reasons why, the biggest was actually touched upon in the story in one of the dream sequences, which unfortunately is not something I made up for this story. It's a real thing that's been eating me up for quite a while. **

**I've been trying to keep this self insert as accurate as possible, and I believe that I've done a good job representing myself in the story. I can definitely see myself doing and saying most of the things that Matt does in the story.**

**Also I wanted to add one more thing…**

**Autumn, I am so sorry I didn't reply to your PM, I really only check my account when I upload a chapter. That is the truthful reasoning behind why I didn't reply. I also regret to inform you that It will be highly unlikely for me to do a colalb since my hands are pretty full with this story and my social life. So no I can't do collabs or write a story that someone requested, but if you have an idea you'd like to see me implement into the story, either leave a review or message me. If any of you want to get in touch with me, try messaging me on my Instagram account toastymagic13 and I'm going to be looking at my PMs on here more often so you can try that too if you don't have Instagram.**

**That's pretty much it!**

**Thanks again, you guys are seriously the best!**

**-Matt**


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